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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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Benjamin D. Hutchins@zgryphon.bsky.social |
33 followers 16 following 879 posts
This metal can only be space titanium.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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As opposed to this artist, first reference to whom should always contain his full name, Leon Leonwood Cool James.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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It's the Magic School Bus! Today's lesson is PAIN. (IYDK, that color is similar to the standard color of US and Canadian school buses. This joke probably doesn't work outside those countries. :)
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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I suspected not, but all the same, it's kind of a weird pattern.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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The only thing I can think of is that this is the pulltab to some kind of 419-style scam, but I can't fathom where the profit center is. Either that or there is a huge demand for bootleg wood shop tools in the greater Rio Grande valley.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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I went to a newly opened Wendy's a couple town over and had some barbecue nugs. Red-letter day in the central highlands, I tell you what
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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This thing is a TABLE SAW, guys, it weighs upward of 150 pounds. It would have to be palletized and taken to a motor freight depot, which, A, I'm not doing, and B, would cost more than the saw itself is worth to send any appreciable distance.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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Is there a scam that somehow involves table saws now? I have one for sale on eBay and I've received multiple messages asking me for quotes to ship it to ZIPs in the Texas borderlands. I reply "no, pickup only" and they reply insisting that they'll pay any shipping rate.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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Random people around the neighborhood seem to be stepping in to fill the gap, so the street outside is full of explosions and my screen door and windows, open for the cool evening breeze, are wafting a festive mixture of gunpowder, BBQ, and weed into my living room.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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It appears my hometown's finances have reached the stage where they can't afford to have fireworks on the actual holiday, but instead must get them on the 5th. Who knew commercial fireworks had the same day-after-the-holiday discount plan as drugstore candy?
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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I'm genuinely amused by how often I see bodega cats protecting customers from LaCroix, specifically.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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why does this backwoods redneck state even HAVE strict automobile inspection laws, what is the point of living in a savage wilderness like this if you're going to have the Man's boot on your neck anyway asksga;jghkjddfgad
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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tfw your car fails inspection because one of the airbag sensors has failed, cost to repair: >$500
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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OK, that was either a string of firecrackers or someone's got an MG 42, so while I can't entirely rule OUT someone in town letting rip with a German WWII machine gun at 9:30 PM, "fireworks" is the safer bet.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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You wouldn't think this was a big enough town to play "fireworks or gunfire?" in, but...
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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update: roids! and elevated blood glucose. but maybe I get some of my fingers back and stop feeling like I stole this body from somebody else and don't really know how to drive it.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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void where prohibited
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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"touch not the cat bot a glove" - motto of Clan MacKintosh
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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Actual exchange I had once: "Think I'll play some Ace Combat - oh, I gotta swap out my Guitar Hero controller first." "No, leave it! Then it's a Macross 7 game."
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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I wonder if anyone has tried to play Elden Ring with a Dance Dance Revolution controller.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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. o O { alternate universe where military hats haven't evolved since the 1600s, so naval officers still wear tricornes, badass special-forces guys have those huge floopy Landsknecht berets, etc. }
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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No, that means when what remains of society collapses, I'll probably just die regardless of my sentiments, and whatever happens after that is a problem for you healthy people who got to live through it.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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Yeah, I'll tell my damaged cerebral white matter to get right on that.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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They better not be counting on me, I'm a terrible shot.
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Dr. Damien P. Williams: Magus, Werewolf, Cyborg, Bi
@wolvendamien.bsky.social
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Reminder that lots of people you encounter are hanging on to a thread by their fingernails so unless it's psychedelics, therapy, a meaningfully viable organizational roadmap, a hug, or some other real support, maybe ask yourself if what you're about to offer is helpful or if you're just startin shit
7 replies 118 reposts 481 likes
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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Automatic flashback to George Carlin in the '80s. "The latest research shows you can get cancer from hoping you don't get it."
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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"Thanks, I hate it!" as I believe the young persons say nowadays.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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Even though - and I feel this is very important to keep in mind - he actually was senile.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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le sigh
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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Fine, look, if I could edit posts here I'd amend "an" to "a meaningful", but I can't, so please take it as read.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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That's a classic distinction without a difference.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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I wish I could be sanguine enough about that to be so savagely dismissive of the idea, but I guess these pearls ain't gonna clutch themselves.
1 replies 0 reposts 30 likes
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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I like the optimism in the tacit assumption that, should they manage to fuck it up this year, there is going to be an election in '28.
1 replies 2 reposts 71 likes
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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been feeling incredibly neurological this weekend, which has led to a lot of anxiety as I replay the same mental game of "weird weather reaction or active demyelination?" over and over
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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Is it a very creaky chair? I feel that's important to the overall effect.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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Oof. Oof, I say.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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Steam engines are still a thing in heavy industry, y'know.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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They've been pestering me to join since I turned 50. They are the personal equivalent of those people who are so het up about the impending expiration of your car's warranty.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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Oh, well, you're probably fine then. (Speaking of things a lot of people don't have any more: talking on a hardwired landline phone during a thunderstorm is also not safe, because if the line gets hit you're going to take a zillion volts straight to the earhole.)
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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Fun fact: Long before the games, the men who ventured into the basement of the Chernobyl NPP immediately after the disaster to try and figure out where the hell the core went called themselves "stalkers" in self-conscious reference to the antiheroes of ROADSIDE PICNIC.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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I've been listening to Arkady and Boris Strugatsky's ROADSIDE PICNIC, the 1972 novel that was the basis for the Soviet film STALKER, which in turn inspired S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chornobyl et al. It's... a trip. Melancholy high-Cold War philosophical sci-fi.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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It may reassure(?) you to know she wasn't completely out to lunch with that. A strike on a house can energize the pipes, so standing in between the shower head and the drain with water running down you isn't an entirely safe place to be. It's unlikely, but it does happen.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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The one I spotted was making a 1950s flying saucer warble, which is exactly the sound such a thing should make. Whichever manufacturer that was has it right.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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I think it says much of what you really need to know about evolution that one of the most commonly-regarded-as-alluring features of the human body is a manufacturing defect.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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Ocean State Frog Lot
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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Mine was like that, except with the girls on The Price Is Right.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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I'd say I'm "I remember when my folks bought their first color TV" old, except that has less to do with how old I am and more with how little my father wanted to buy a new TV while the old one his parents gave him when he moved out still worked. :)
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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... such as the MBTA! #symmetry
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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I know you can have bacon added to your milkshake at Five Guys, unless that's some odd derangement specific to the guy who runs the shake machine at the store nearest me. He always asks if I want it, but I always decline. I do not approve of chunky milkshakes.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins
@zgryphon.bsky.social
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Damn, I mean, we've all had that "train your replacement" moment in tech, but at least the ones I've had, the replacement was another life form. :/
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes