when you're publicly high-functioning despite your overwhelming mental illness so people feel comfortable demanding a large amount of emotional labor from you and then get mad when you don't deliver because all of your effort and ability is already exhausted maintaining your high-functioning persona
This is why I just gave up masking, because neurotypicals don't see the struggle so they expect more and more until you crack. If I am unabashedly "crazy" I don't get asked to be more normal than the normies.
People don't demand that of me....I demand it of myself and kinda force myself to carry other people even if they have other people to lean on.
I need to stop.
Little bipolar journaling here
Crashed pretty hard again. I usually cycle much more into hypo/mania than I do depression but not recently
Better today than yesterday. Kept having those gasping can’t breathe dreams though all night … the worst
Anyway everything sucks but that’s ok