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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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nice flat field you got there... be a shame if someone got bored in it
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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speedy@deathofspeedy.bsky.social |
163 followers 92 following 1963 posts
illicit yankee keeper of the mystic sword of french legend durandal
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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nice flat field you got there... be a shame if someone got bored in it
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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staying present all the time is intense not living hand to mouth is a sort of exhilarating vertigo so much more of my senses and have awakened since i haven't had to worry about immediate safety and shelter or navigating the world while on day 7 of no sleep so much time to heal my brain and mind
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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strangest part of my life has been these last 3 years i've spent recuperating from decades of trauma i'm very fortunate to have had this time or any time after my 30s at all as that was never expected but tomorrow isn't a promise of the torment of today extended anymore i can live and it gets hard
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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luring myself into a running shower by aiming a red beam of light at the stall and whipping the curtain closed behind me
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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i got the rude sharpie out just for you
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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looks like another malformed banger sent to the dungeons by fuckin, milksop philistines
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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loping down the street a grown nude still-attached umbilical cord in hand
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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bursting through door "you're making a mistake!"
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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it's like when cat experts get asked why cats sit around all day doing nothing and ask back what tf do you do all day saying cats do the exact same amount of jack shit
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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nice me too
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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i think in a zombie outbreak most folks would you know eat their immediate loved ones which is a tragedy for sure but then get distracted by the light of a tv and sit down as a reflex eventually decomposing into immobile heads and torsos
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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you like tàr?
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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ok back to the strained lesbian couple vs warring militia groups vs zombies movie, herd
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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i tolerated 3 or maybe 4 of these movies but sad horny kong is the last straw no more garish u.s. toho flicks
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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SOME INFORMED ASSHOLE: well you see praxis bo braxis, therefore it follows that bananafana, fraxis; fee fi mo mraxis: (smugly) praxis. ME: ah. counterpoint: (reaching for my purloined mystic sword, durandal)
0 replies 1 reposts 12 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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concerned parties looking to reclaim the sword (my sword, actually, durandal) aren't stupid i know they'll check providence but i don't fuck with the local occultists so i'm gambling on having some time to cook up a plan
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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i mean obv i get it i'm not meant to wield the thing my job's to deliver it to a european champion but that sounds like a bad idea to me so it's sticking out of my courier bag atm
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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you think getting the damn thing out of the rock is the hard part going in but that's magic shit just comes free and you're going on adrenaline so you hoist it up high but this fucking sword weighs a literal ton wtf was i thinking
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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it's proven really hard to keep a low profile dragging durandal around everywhere
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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cremaster and margarita
@goatwang.bsky.social
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getting evicted and have to pay for two places at once rn so I can move house. please look in my store abs maybe buy something or share the link if you can🙏💕 www.teepublic.com/user/goatwang
1 replies 6 reposts 5 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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sweet sister! know that one thousand dogs decry your passing
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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doing a sad bit of slow softshoe til everyone else wakes up
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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but if algae levels are left unchecked and enough of the wrong kind of pollution gets in the lake it's sadly not uncommon at all to find an embryonic jason voorhees waiting for some kid to drown so he can slap a mask on them and get wild topside
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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tysm
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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could you grab me a jason if you see one chained up at the bottom of the lake? he'll be the one in a goalie mask
1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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i think a lot about the one that's like a woman goes home with a dude all sweaty after a show and they each take turns in the shower where she starts singing in a pirate voice that she's warshing out her holes and then the guy asks her to leave
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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that's the thing that really gets driven home as time passes with permanent disabilities: nobody's just an ally if they live long enough
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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right after hearing my cancer story (abridged) a guy at coffee last week said "MAYBE some men don't go to the doctor ah because they're deeply uncomfortable ah being nude or vulnerable in front of strangers" before he felt my vibe and stated it was just his opinion. i told him he'll get used to it
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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i'm sorry an algo told you to follow me here is the most disgusting thing i can think of right now
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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my mud wasp asshole bit is about as popular as my old dirty cracked hard red rubber toilet in the gamey sun bit in that it has thus far endeared me to no one
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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after softly clearing my voice and under my breath "please give what you can. ty"
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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oh that's just great that's just what this country needs right now mud wasps nesting in my dirty b hole
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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i'm sorry everyone
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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0 replies 3 reposts 2 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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paypal @jpreader venmo @JP_Reader if you can help out at all it would make a huge difference. ty
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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can anyone please spot me $25 july wiped me out early i'm broke as hell
2 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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probably my all-time favorite
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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i think of this one all the time
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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one thing people who know i'm vegan can't let go of is why i don't eat honey offering dozens of reasons it makes no sense and i always hit them with the "reinforcing patterns of behavior" talk but honestly it's mostly just to watch you get mad
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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am i scornful and rash enough to nuke my account in a fleeting fit of pique 100% obviously am i way too pretentious to let 13 years of creative output get flushed down the toilet on purpose again yes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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i don't get to post old tweets i really like because i got so tied up on here and irl that i forgot to log in to twitter for over 3 months and that was it kaput
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josh (oldfriend99)
@oldfriend99.bsky.social
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My boomer parents are sending me to military school. I'm going to miss my wife and kids so much..
4 replies 3 reposts 96 likes
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Carl T. Bergstrom
@carlbergstrom.com
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If you’ve never seen Dorothea Lange’s photographs of the World War II internment camps and the Japanese-Americans who were imprisoned there, today is a good day to see them and to commit to making sure this never happens again.
anchoreditions.com/blog/dorothe...
27 replies 573 reposts 1482 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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the beekeeper is ultimately delightful
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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wait the beekeeper movie thinks springfield massachusetts is some remote outpost where there's no nearby computer repair options that's wonderful
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Colossal
@thisiscolossal.com
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Artist Hitomi Terasawa drew a meticulous cross-sectioned rendering of Hong Kong's infamous Kowloon Walled City before it was razed in 1994. Now we have rare scans revealing the inner workings of the labyrinth-like metropolis.
www.thisiscolossal.com/2024/07/kowl...
22 replies 420 reposts 1148 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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you should've tried stealing cars just to crash them and run away the adrenaline got me higher than any drug i've had
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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that's a shame i have so many fond memories of robbing this place taking the garbage my mom put on my feet and switching them out for some of the flyest sneakers of 1993
1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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the unthinkable and out of darkness were pretty cool unthinkable's ok but out of darkness you should take time out to see it's fun
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speedy
@deathofspeedy.bsky.social
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long-time pro-rabies guy here (through years of rancid yellowed foam): "isz gouode!!"
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes