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wealthy gadabout

@carlosanimals.bsky.social

29 followers 40 following 70 posts

I have no idea

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wealthy gadabout's avatar wealthy gadabout @carlosanimals.bsky.social
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I can’t really express how heroic Willie Mays and Willie McCovey seemed to me when I was growing up. My parents’ stories about them made them seem like mythological figures.

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John Saward's avatar John Saward @rbuas.bsky.social
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Way back in February I was working on a piece for VICE, and then a few weeks later everything else happened. I don't have much of an idea what's going on over there now, none at all actually, but they decided to run it today. It's about the bar and some friends of mine.
www.vice.com/en/article/e...

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Lord Rat Squirt's avatar Lord Rat Squirt @lordratsquirt.bsky.social
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Working remotely? Always mute your mic on Zoom calls to mask the inevitable toilet flush.

0 replies 2 reposts 5 likes

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gorlock's avatar gorlock @gorlock.bsky.social
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When will the Charmin corporation make an AI bear on their website you can go to for asshole wiping advice

6 replies 10 reposts 49 likes

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David_j_roth's avatar David_j_roth @davidjroth.bsky.social
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Tormented throughout another NBA postseason by the ads featuring a family of animated bears who think and talk only of shitting. Their obsession with toilet paper is infinite, ecstatic, profoundly depraved. No more of this.

32 replies 68 reposts 640 likes

wealthy gadabout's avatar wealthy gadabout @carlosanimals.bsky.social
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I’m so hyped up by this game that I might just start throwing stuff into my toilet

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wealthy gadabout's avatar wealthy gadabout @carlosanimals.bsky.social
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My fuckin’ hat is too big and I don’t know how to take it off.

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wealthy gadabout's avatar wealthy gadabout @carlosanimals.bsky.social
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I think it’s time for me to admit that at 39 years old, I’m probably never gonna remember the difference between slow gherkin and skankin pickle

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wealthy gadabout's avatar wealthy gadabout @carlosanimals.bsky.social
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The opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s having to go to the bathroom.

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wealthy gadabout's avatar wealthy gadabout @carlosanimals.bsky.social
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AI can never replace the feeling you get when you say, “Neuro-Beavis vs. Mech Garfield” to your friends and everybody gets to imagine their own version of what that would look like

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wealthy gadabout's avatar wealthy gadabout @carlosanimals.bsky.social
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Quick question: do you think I could make money selling t shirts to basketball players that say, “Tall as hell; dumb as fuck”?

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wealthy gadabout's avatar wealthy gadabout @carlosanimals.bsky.social
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I just know somebody has smoked meth inside that thing

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wealthy gadabout's avatar wealthy gadabout @carlosanimals.bsky.social
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Gonna write a 900 page novel titled The Great Schism and it’s about the debate between people who prefer Perfect From Now On and people who prefer Keep It Like a Secret.

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wealthy gadabout's avatar wealthy gadabout @carlosanimals.bsky.social
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The basic, underlying philosophy of all great societies is essentially the same: whoever can scream and cry and shit themselves the loudest is the victor.

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wealthy gadabout's avatar wealthy gadabout @carlosanimals.bsky.social
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To succeed in life, you must be independent, perverted, scrappy, introverted, adaptive, frequently drunk, selfless, stupid, inquisitive, uncharacteristic, slow, small, shiny, stinking, worthless, wonderful, mysterious, braggadocios, sleepy, stubborn, graceless, grateful, and always bored.

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wealthy gadabout's avatar wealthy gadabout @carlosanimals.bsky.social
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A few years ago, when they were filming Motherless Brooklyn outside of the office where I worked

1 replies 1 reposts 3 likes

wealthy gadabout's avatar wealthy gadabout @carlosanimals.bsky.social
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The opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s having to go to the bathroom.

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wealthy gadabout's avatar wealthy gadabout @carlosanimals.bsky.social
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The cool thing about this Dune movie is that, if it’s good, everybody can be happy and if it sucks, everybody can just sort of write it off because it was directed by a French Canadian guy

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Damon Agnos's avatar Damon Agnos @damonagnos.bsky.social
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“Yes, I am an Op…….eration Ivy fan!” Taylor Swift tells the crowd, before breaking into a rendition of “Bad Town”

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wealthy gadabout's avatar wealthy gadabout @carlosanimals.bsky.social
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Bring your laptop to McDonald’s day is coming up soon

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wealthy gadabout's avatar wealthy gadabout @carlosanimals.bsky.social
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I used to have a lot of respect for Eleanor Roosevelt until I saw that cell phone video of her going into a Jack In the Box and peeing everywhere and kicking chairs and flipping off that baby

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Patrick Cosmos's avatar Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer
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A punk band called The Garfields and the main guy is named Jim Garfield

6 replies 5 reposts 48 likes

wealthy gadabout's avatar wealthy gadabout @carlosanimals.bsky.social
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Forgot to do this. Now I’m probably dead.

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