cakemittens's avatar

cakemittens

@cakemittens.bsky.social

887 followers 261 following 9144 posts

exactly as God made me

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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I am

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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starting intactivism but for ass hair. if you ever shaved your ass you need to uhhhhhh jelq it back somehow

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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holding my hands up shoulder height with my palms forward

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

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Brendel's avatar Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social
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I suppose what Game of Thrones has to teach us about politics is it’s a long depressing slog until you reach the conclusion and then a bunch of idiots randomly choose someone to lead the country even if it makes no sense

4 replies 18 reposts 160 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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sorry to interrupt but you should play the monkey Island games imo

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

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rose's avatar rose @lightblanket.bsky.social
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You drank from the hose? What attachment? What setting? Elapsed time?

1 replies 10 reposts 68 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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I thought this was founded in facts but googling "did Marie Curie work with urine" is turning up a bunch of unrelated bullshit

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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George Clooney should run, honestly. why the fuck not.

1 replies 0 reposts 11 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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getting excited about the prospect of living to the age that I could seriously hurt myself trying to disembark an escalator

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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he's great in Burn After Reading. I know id fuck him

2 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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he told people not to stain line if they're in line

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

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Jay Willis's avatar Jay Willis @jaywillis.bsky.social
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IMPORTANT: The website for Jonathan Mitchell's sock puppet org suing Northwestern for "bias against white men" is an open submission form asking for "evidence of race or sex preferences at any university you've been associated with." Just FYI! fasorp.org

18 replies 123 reposts 234 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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waiting until my tea has fully darjeeled before I drink it

2 replies 3 reposts 21 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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although I just thought of this - Joe announces he's not gonna run, stick whatever white man in the nom position, Joe steps down, Kamala kills trump, new nom condemns it and says he'll expand the supreme court to curb the powers of the president

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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screaming "FAAAAAKE" at the first one from the back of the auditorium

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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democracy is on the ballot. democracy's bum is on the swedish.

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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reading the exact right article about how if the GOP does the holocaust it would be bad and turning the hearts of all the nazis who are gonna vote for him because they think it's good, actually

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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I don't wanna talk politics but I'll just say there is zero chance Kamala would win

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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what is everyone behind the scenes of?

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Villein's avatar Villein @villein.bsky.social
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angrily texting building group chat that i can tell nobody prayed for me tonight

0 replies 7 reposts 74 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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the other week before my trip I hit the jackpot and got to the walg right as the beverageman, in a monster jersey no less, was unloading

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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oh by the way - the Cigarette is alive and well in europe

0 replies 0 reposts 9 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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I have no problem with thinking globally. but I have to draw the line at acting locally.

0 replies 0 reposts 11 likes

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JLP's avatar JLP @jlp.bsky.social
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The purpose of a system is what it does... gotta say Christianity not looking too hot under that lens

0 replies 3 reposts 27 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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horse eats plant matter, contributing to climate change

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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uhhhhhhhhhh during coffin week? good luck. lmao.

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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not familiar with it. glad he's dead, as well as in hell

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

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furby hancock's avatar furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social
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waiter, there's a hideous reflection in my soup

2 replies 10 reposts 62 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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shower instead of enjoying it during the shower, able to set it down on a plate of peel and just eat segments occasionally while soaking in the warm water

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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just want to provide an update on this: I peeled the entire thing and absent-mindedly tossed the peel before realizing that meant I could no longer rest the orange on the ledge in the shower without the edible meats coming in contact with shower grime. so I had to quickly eat it before my ...[1 / ?]

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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[in an air conditioned bus arriving 50 minutes late to my job in an air conditioned office] there's basically nothing more difficult in the world than coming back from vacation in the alps

1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

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lanyardigan's avatar lanyardigan @lanyardigan.bsky.social
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(Kermit) why are there so many Shows about murder

7 replies 66 reposts 297 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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kalamata olive flavored sparkling water

2 replies 0 reposts 15 likes

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little freak library's avatar little freak library @sullivanjones.bsky.social
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Do not scold me about Joe Biden. Go talk to him. He is the president of the United States and I work at the store.

4 replies 125 reposts 841 likes

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the thing noticer's avatar the thing noticer @bug-deal.bsky.social
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just invented an insufferable brand called 3Six Tea

4 replies 4 reposts 55 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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wild that fruity means heterosexually horny over there

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

cakemittens's avatar cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social
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I can only presume God was "having a normal one" when he made me ugly

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes