Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 15:59 UTC

There are a zillion stories of Bill Murray crashing regular people's parties, but I had no idea Dean Stockwell also did the same thing?? At least not until he snuck into a friend's house party last night, singled me out, walked up, and whispered in my ear "I died November 7, 2021, at the age of 85."

0 replies 0 reposts 10 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 15:33 UTC

AN IDIOT: I'm a genius. ME: (laughing, wisely) No, no, no...

0 replies 3 reposts 9 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 14:33 UTC

egalitarian jugation

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 13:11 UTC

he is shifting his threat to the psychic plane

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 04:49 UTC

This is "Woody's fall movie 2024"

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 04:40 UTC

WOODY ALLEN: I need a new movie. One that will be so good everyone will forgive me. ME: I see. WOODY ALLEN: It needs to be perfect. Perfect, get it? It needs to be literally perfect. A perfect title. ME: Hmmm. "Rifkin's Festival". WOODY ALLEN: Did you just come up with that? Oh my god. Oh my god.

2 replies 0 reposts 15 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 01:53 UTC

If instead of debate those two dorks did karaoke, here's how it'd go. Biden: showtunes from a forgotten Bob Hope movie with blackface in it called like "Honey, You're One Of Something Awright!" Trump: walks around while the "Magic Man" instrumental track plays, pushing pitchers of beer to the floor.

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 01:06 UTC

The smartest show on TV right now is "The Bear". Like the fine dining experience it portrays, the program serves up only the highest quality ingredients, chief among them being: lunch havoc.

0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 00:51 UTC

clicking on that person's profile is how I learned martin mull died. cursed interaction.

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 21:00 UTC

Gang, you know what to do. RESKEET if your account is a safe space for BARRON AND MELANIA TRUMP. Let's make sure they see all the love! 💚💙💜❤️🧡💛

2 replies 5 reposts 21 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 14:23 UTC

Angelic Brandon ascendant

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 12:32 UTC

When you need to pee, if you're walking your body fights it off until you're at rest. It's the same way your bladder shuts down when your penis is aimed straight up (towards your face) and you're repeating "gullible gullible gullible" out loud. Try to pee as hard as you want like that - can't do it!

0 replies 0 reposts 15 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 04:59 UTC

Congratulations to the two debaters tonight. It's easy for small brains to make mean little jokes online, but it takes true character to run for president. Let me be the first to say what we're all thinking to you both: Thank You.

0 replies 3 reposts 35 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 21:15 UTC

i'm going to kindly beg you to reconsider. leave that shit on the b*rd site.

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 21:14 UTC

there's a way to encourage someone to do anything, but it would break tos to tell you what it is

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 21:13 UTC

i tried to make another account just to follow art stuff because every single feed is full of noxious pornography but it was actually very hard to start a new account and find stuff i wanted to find so it's probably a good feature! you can also use it to stalk and attack people you hate?? somehow??

2 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 21:11 UTC

they're just a set of accts/feeds you make that someone can follow when they join. but everyone seems mad that they'll be used for NEFARIOUS FOLLOWING. like who cares. they seem encouraged as a way of starting specific communities like "brands" and "nerds who love brands" so that sucks but wgaf.

2 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 19:37 UTC

Google used to reliably answer this for me and now the helpful "AI overview" is barely in English. Great job, guys!!

2 replies 5 reposts 47 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 03:51 UTC

gosh, sunday is easter already?

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 21:10 UTC

Feed. Right. You said feed.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 21:09 UTC

Bluesky starter packs are a great new feature, especially for putting together a group that doesn't know each other's names for a little job I'm planning.

2 replies 1 reposts 15 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 17:18 UTC

(Stella voice) COLUMBO:

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 17:08 UTC

Film discourse on Bluesky is fucked UP. I casually spoiled the ending of Stepmom (1998) in a DM and the whisper network has apparently been circulating AI art of me being beheaded. So what if Susan Sarandon accepts Julia Roberts into the family at the end. It's a beautiful moment! I deserve to live.

2 replies 8 reposts 94 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 13:40 UTC

You have castrated 「ＴｒｅａｓｕｒｅＤｏｇ」． You receive 「２ｘＧｉｌｄｅｄＮａｒｄ」．

0 replies 6 reposts 61 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 13:35 UTC

The best part of Harry Potter is that it's fun for all ages, whether you're 40 or 42 years old!

2 replies 8 reposts 60 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 04:37 UTC

Wife and I lucked out finding a copy of the audio track from the end of Grizzly Man. We play it loud on a speaker facing the wall to the kids' room so that whenever we're feeling a bit 👀 randy 👀 any squelching splattering or screaming they overhear melt into the other nature noises they're used to.

0 replies 0 reposts 18 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 04:23 UTC

LOIS: Hm with half his face covered, you could almost mistake Clark Kent for Superman! But the Man of Steel famously refuses to mask in public… CLARK: I hate breathing in poisonous CO2 as part of the coronavirus hoax, but if I don't wear this mask Lois might recognize me as the last son of Krypton!

0 replies 2 reposts 26 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 02:17 UTC

It could also be Hoquefort. Sorry. I don't know. I'm just guessing, mostly. It would be a cheese thing.

1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 01:59 UTC

His superhero would be named Havarteye. That's what would happen. Good night.

1 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 22:50 UTC

Every single person on-line is dead. You know in your heart it is true. You have always known. They're not alive. The opposite, if anything.

1 replies 1 reposts 11 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 21:46 UTC

In the star wars universe Chewbacca is actually a baby. When people of his species hit puberty all of the hair falls out around their lap and reveals a perfectly bald little penis. There's a disney plus show about it.

2 replies 2 reposts 51 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 17:11 UTC

Oh

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 19:43 UTC

1 replies 3 reposts 24 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 19:12 UTC

easier than trying to wrangle the chimp in the shower

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 17:47 UTC

joe biden

1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 17:33 UTC

ok but i don't know how either of them says it

1 replies 1 reposts 8 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 17:24 UTC

I have important news about Elon Musk. If you are familiar with my posts, you might be anticipating what you think the news will be, but you would be mistaken. This is something new and very shocking. The news is that he is dead. At the time of death, his head looked like a bank safe full of dough.

0 replies 3 reposts 27 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 16:24 UTC

They were definitely using a type A opener in type B way. Maybe they learned that from growing up with a type B opener long ago. I'll use this insight to exercise more grace in my life, thank you.

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 16:15 UTC

I'm unfortunately in a state that banned open carry coroners :(

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 16:12 UTC

he's scoping out the antisemitism headline

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes