Felonious Monk 📚's avatar

Felonious Monk 📚

@feloniousmonk.bsky.social

2757 followers 1430 following 14056 posts

Forever forlorn poet. Bipolar. Dad joking Daddy Dom. Vulgar and profane. Known to pontificate, but also prone to unhinged shitposting. DMs open. 18+ MDNI.

Connect: linktr.ee/thefeloniousmonk

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Memento Morty 🌙's avatar Memento Morty 🌙 @mortythenurse.bsky.social
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If you gaze long enough into the abyussy, the abyussy will gaze back

3 replies 10 reposts 47 likes

Reposted by Felonious Monk 📚

á's avatar á @lankee.bsky.social
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Spank 'em! It's the only way to be sure!

0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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Gonna grill some brats tomorrow. They better have the answers to my questions or they're getting spanked.

3 replies 2 reposts 14 likes

Reposted by Felonious Monk 📚

gamera obscura 's avatar gamera obscura @ohrobin.bsky.social
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I cradle my grief, a swaddled child Fast against the hostile world I carry her from room to room in an empty house I sing wordless comfort She cries out to me in my own voice.

1 replies 5 reposts 20 likes

Reposted by Felonious Monk 📚

KLM 's avatar KLM @klm.bsky.social
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getting laid in one of those odd Subaru trucks that got discontinued, or as I like to call it, getting Baja blasted

1 replies 7 reposts 13 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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Getting laid in a Chevy Custom Conversion, or as I call it, cock au van.

2 replies 1 reposts 13 likes

Reposted by Felonious Monk 📚

Judith Butlerian Jihad's avatar Judith Butlerian Jihad @xanindigo.bsky.social
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Mes chéries, creativity is something so inherently human. Give a child paper and crayons and they'll probably start drawing a picture. That spark is in each and every one of us. If you're sad or frustrated about losing a work of fiction you once loved? Make something.

1 replies 3 reposts 11 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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After all the years I've spent in Florida, I still don't understand why people would choose to live in Galveston.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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It's so ridiculous. Any woman athlete in the average Olympic uniform qualifies as Adult Content in this system. All of volleyball. Gymnastics. A lot of dance.

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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@safety.bsky.app @bsky.app what is "adult content" about a woman wearing a fairly conservative swimsuit. Is your rating system inherently incapable of not sexualizing women's bodies?

4 replies 5 reposts 28 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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Open snapchat. See story feed with 900 blurry fireworks videos. Close snapchat.

0 replies 0 reposts 8 likes

Reposted by Felonious Monk 📚

Hijabi of Colour ♿️🔞 ($65/$600)'s avatar Hijabi of Colour ♿️🔞 ($65/$600) @hijabiofcolor.bsky.social
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Omg, you’re making me hungry and I’m broke 🤣

0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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Gabe had a nervous disposition, and I kept him on the trazadone for storms and such already, but he'd hide in the closet during fireworks all covered up and shivering. I'd lay with him, sometimes falling asleep with him.

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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That means a lot. I've been thinking about getting another dog, but haven't been ready yet. His passing was traumatic and undignified and still hurts.

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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Thinking about the fireworks last year and how I had to keep Gabe all bunded up in his thunder jacket. I miss my dog.

2 replies 0 reposts 17 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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Smores Brownies. That's it. That's the skeet.

1 replies 1 reposts 9 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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Oh man, I remember those days. Yeah, every day will feel like that for a while. But then one day it won't. And you'll realize things have actually gotten a little better, money is OK, you're not working 100 hour weeks. Its worth the push. If you ever need some encouragement, ping me.

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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Vote for Joooooooeee Put him in that Oval Plaaaaace For you and for meee and the entire human race

0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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Wrapping up my third 13+ hour day in a row, and this shit sucks. I have been trying to gear down my business interests in favor of focus on my creative pursuits, but it seems like a new crisis pops up every couple of months. Feeling like Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon.

1 replies 0 reposts 8 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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Hi it's me the guy who writes dumb jokes and horny poems, I'm not dead, just been handling a shit storm, OK, thanks bye for now.

3 replies 0 reposts 16 likes

Reposted by Felonious Monk 📚

Lauren McKenzie [free 🇵🇸]'s avatar Lauren McKenzie [free 🇵🇸] @themckenziest.gay
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4 replies 3 reposts 60 likes

Reposted by Felonious Monk 📚

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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When the grafitti artist realizes that wasn't cumin he added to the chili.

0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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I just call it binging, and I'd prefer if you all didn't watch.

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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Could we get a starter pack of these please so I can one click add them all?

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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The best thing about an arthritis flare up is creatively avoiding typing any word that contains letters past "U" on the keyboard because it feels like being stabbed on the right side of your hand.

1 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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Are you by chance driving while holding your head out the window smiling?

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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Just remember this when you're dealing with the Trademarked Freefall 24 Hour Action™. The air pressure making your cheeks flap is even a lot of some of us Menfolk after a while.

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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Oh, Pine is fine. I would stay away from "Skydiving Adventure" though.

1 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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As the eldest child of a shitty man who had a shitty dad, that logic holds up.

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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Yeah, it's just so fucking weird. Like, it's not authoritative in a leadership way, and it's not authoritative in a dommy way, it's just petty and capricious. It actually makes you look weak, not like a leader. They're the opposite of what they seek to be.

2 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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So fucking true. Generic white dude dark hair face.

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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Ah, right. These assclowns all seem to have attended the same shithead school.

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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Isn't this the guy who was caught on camera verbally abusing his pregnant wife?

2 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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"I swear By the moon and stars in the sky" "Yes, All-4-One, and that's why you have three days detention."

0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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It really is the best. Like all of my little octopuses.

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Felonious Monk 📚's avatar Felonious Monk 📚 @feloniousmonk.bsky.social
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It IS ridiculous, in a way that inspires love.

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes