Futuremonkey

@futuremonkey.bsky.social

79 followers 128 following 907 posts

Certainly not "JUST BELOW GENIUS-LEVEL".

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 15:43 UTC

I desperately wish you were wrong.

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 00:51 UTC

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 00:49 UTC

Explain the joke. I want to har-dee-har right along with everyone else.

2 replies 1 reposts 2 likes

Reposted by Futuremonkey

Charles Johnson @charles.littlegreenfootballs.com
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 18:30 UTC

Hey, don’t get mad at me if you’re helping to ratfuck Joe Biden. You should be mad at yourself for being played by these clowns AGAIN.

3 replies 26 reposts 102 likes

Reposted by Futuremonkey

Charles Johnson @charles.littlegreenfootballs.com
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 17:57 UTC

It’s really disappointing to see some of the journalists I’ve respected (and there aren’t many these days) eagerly join in on the GOP/media ratfucking of Joe Biden. This is why Republicans do this shit: 1) because it works, and 2) even their targets sometimes help them do it.

5 replies 9 reposts 65 likes

Reposted by Futuremonkey

Faine Greenwood @faineg.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 21:58 UTC

It also makes me feel insane that the rat fuck around Biden’s age and mental capacity is being uncritically spread around by Democrats when Trump is *incredibly obviously* grotesquely mentally incapacitated, in a way that is genuinely terrifying.

39 replies 291 reposts 1061 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 10:45 UTC

But spiders eat things that I hate more...

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 08:07 UTC

"tomorrow" You're not even using the right calendar.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 08:00 UTC

You're Wrong About American History Tellers The Exploress American Hysteria The Mortified Podcast

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 07:39 UTC

If Biden steps hands over the presidency to Harris, the GOP refuses to confirm a new VP. Harris gets JFK'd by GOP goons and then it's one-party rule for generations.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 07:32 UTC

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHKJ...

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 17:32 UTC

If the UI doesn't look like a Ouija board, why even bother?

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 22:58 UTC

But then who would tell us pearls of wisdom like, "hibba long dang rascal flobba wing disco"?

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 16:28 UTC

Plot twist: we will, but the laws will be very, very bad.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 15:22 UTC

"There must be in-groups the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups the law binds but does not protect."

0 replies 1 reposts 10 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 14:29 UTC

Welp.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Reposted by Futuremonkey

Bob Cesca @bobcesca.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 14:16 UTC

This entire Biden stay-or-go issue revolves around a bigger crisis: a twisted, damaged voting population that's succumbed to fascist propaganda and an obvious con-man who's convinced many of us to end democracy. This is an "us" problem as much as anything else. Wise up, America.

0 replies 5 reposts 14 likes

Reposted by Futuremonkey

Charles Johnson @charles.littlegreenfootballs.com
[ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 18:30 UTC

If you’re thinking of trying to emigrate to Europe if Trump wins, you may want to take a close look at what’s happening in elections over there. There’s no safe harbor.

6 replies 4 reposts 39 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 00:48 UTC

I wonder if Eisenhower was bored.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 21:52 UTC

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 18:33 UTC

Pi = 4 for simplicity.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 18:30 UTC

www.nytimes.com/1924/12/21/a...

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 18:24 UTC

Have we all forgotten that the NYT published fawning articles about Adolf Hitler?

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 18:22 UTC

100% won't even register with non-liberals.

1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 01:20 UTC

Start preserving evidence that this used to be a free country.

0 replies 1 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 04:34 UTC

Shitty picture I realize, but spotted in the wild

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 16:49 UTC

These threads are really amping up my desire to savagely murder everyone who has financial advantages.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Futuremonkey

Michael Tae Sweeney @mtsw.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 14:56 UTC

Remember, this is America, the world's greatest democracy. If you're mad at John Roberts, don't protest at his house, focus on defeating him the next time he's up for reelection.

18 replies 204 reposts 1066 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 01:32 UTC

Putin to seek emergency treatment for priapism.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Reposted by Futuremonkey

Radley Balko @radleybalko.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 01:27 UTC

Just reiterating this, because, unfortunately, it appears to be increasingly relevant.

19 replies 192 reposts 761 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 01:20 UTC

Start preserving evidence that this used to be a free country.

0 replies 1 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 01:05 UTC

I demand that both of them drop a heroic dose of acid 3 hours before the debate.

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 01:31 UTC

Not sure how to take that quote from Mister Definitely.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 01:28 UTC

I genuinely don't know if I can take it. And I can take a lot. I mean, a lot.

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 23:51 UTC

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 18:01 UTC

I want to know which drugs make one a better debater.

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 22:53 UTC

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Futuremonkey

L O L G O P @lolgop.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 19:35 UTC

Every one of these things proves Michel Gondry actual genius.

2 replies 2 reposts 38 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 19:45 UTC

Because if you make a point you get to legislate.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 19:42 UTC

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."

0 replies 0 reposts 9 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 17:06 UTC

If money was abolished I would, at age 50, learn woodworking and spend the rest of my life doing nothing but that and photography. IT work can fuck all the way off.

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 16:51 UTC

And here I thought Carolyn Burnham was a fictional character.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 16:46 UTC

Does Doug Stanhope know that guy stole one of his suits?

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 16:43 UTC

I turn to stone When you are gone I turn to stone

1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 15:54 UTC

Was Project 2025 personally authored by Vladimir Putin? If you wanted a roadmap to the utter destruction and global irrelevance of the United States, you couldn't ask for anything more thorough.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 23:09 UTC

Coal-fired crematoriums as a renewable power source! Republican policy 2025, probably.

1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 23:06 UTC

I don't wear my shoes inside my home but I can also definitively assert that said shoes are not covered in shit of any variety. However, I work at City Hall, where there is apparently a permanent contest to see who can most profusely piss directly on the floor in the staff men's room.

1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 20:53 UTC

When are journalists going to understand that "objective" and "neutral" are not synonyms?

0 replies 1 reposts 8 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 17:24 UTC

My usual assumption is that a conservative had a broken clock moment and now everyone is mad at Snopes for confirming it.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Futuremonkey @futuremonkey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 06:37 UTC

Fiveskin

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes