Katie Herrmann's avatar

Katie Herrmann

@katieherrmann.bsky.social

499 followers 1044 following 194 posts

Lawyer. I make up songs about my dog and sing them to her. Sometimes I run into things.

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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But I emailed you twice at 2am on Saturday from "SpammySpamScams4U at askjeeves dot open_at_your_own_peril69 dot com!"

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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Just one? I wouldn't know where to start. @joshuaerlich.bsky.social

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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I have a legit office set-up at home, complete with: desk, rolly chair, printer, office supplies, etc. Naturally, I work from an armchair in a different room surrounded by a rampart of TV tables.

3 replies 0 reposts 21 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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Thank you! Yes!!

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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Me: "Should I cut this gummy in half, or . . . " Me: (one hour later) "I can't support Thomas the Tank Engine. The trains are children."

2 replies 2 reposts 37 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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Songs I would absolutely lose my shit over when I was 4 y/o: - Kokomo, Beach Boys - Going to the Chapel, Dixie Cups - She Drives Me Crazy, Fine Young Cannibals - Spill the Wine, Eric Burdon & War.

0 replies 1 reposts 18 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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My two favorite gentlemen.

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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I'm fine. Everything going on is fine. I think I'll take the rest of the day off to celebrate how completely fine both I and everything else are.

2 replies 3 reposts 26 likes

Reposted by Katie Herrmann

southpaw's avatar southpaw @nycsouthpaw.bsky.social
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When they told us John Roberts was an institutionalist, they forgot to mention that the institution he’s committed to uphold is an American monarchy.

16 replies 97 reposts 809 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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Jeopardy contestants always look so scared when they're first introduced. It should really stop me from inventing short, comical back stories to explain what their deal is ... but it doesn't. I'm a monster.

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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The Doctor Is In (accepts all forms of kibble).

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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The very last source Alito cites in his dissent in the draft EMTALA opinion: Ponnuru, R., The Party of Death 10 (2006). Ramesh Ponurru is not a legal scholar. He is not a lawyer. He is not a doctor. He is not a scientist. Ramesh Ponurru is a political journalist and editor of National Review.

1 replies 3 reposts 37 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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Which one's Bert and which one is Ernie again

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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I tried to hug the Uber driver that dropped me off at the airport early this morning, as if he were a loved one seeing me off on a flight. I am not built for mornings. Or flying. Or human interactions.

2 replies 1 reposts 79 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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Guilty. For some reason, this life lesson always makes me think of "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion" (where they lie to former classmates about inventing Post-it notes in order to impress them). Then I think about how cool and easy my life will be once I'm more like Romy and/or Michele.

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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Agreed. At a certain point - like with drunk driving - it's a matter of reaction time, and the consequences can be just as serious. If you wouldn't startle or bowl over a kid or eldery person walking down the sidewalk because they're going to slow, don't do it in a car. I've never felt so old.

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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My cousin's kid graduated from Oxford High School a couple of weeks ago. He was a sophomore when he lived through the mass shooting there. Now another mass shooting in the same county he grew up in - Oakland County, Michigan. What are we doing to our children. What are we doing for them.

1 replies 0 reposts 15 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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He does save good coupons for me (incredibly kind, so I really can't complain). My sister and I refer to this as the "ITS discount," or "I'm Too Sexy for full price" lol

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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He tries to give everyone in line a compliment, and I sincerely believe he just panics when he gets to me. Do I spend too much time deciding if I'm offended? Sure. Do I keep giving the guy the benefit of the doubt each time? Also yes. I can't help myself.

1 replies 0 reposts 21 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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The cashier at a store near my house loves to part ways with a statement that can mean 8 different things, one of them offensive. A few of my favs: "You're a nice lady with a funny approach" "Glasses don't do anything to change you, physically." and today's: "Looking like a full woman!"

7 replies 6 reposts 67 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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In law school, I was on a panel of students who "interviewed" faculty applicants and provided feedback. There were two interviews so terrible, I had to write letters: The first: "Pray away the gay" proponent; The second: Bump stock proponent, as "the current most important constitutional issue."

1 replies 2 reposts 29 likes

Reposted by Katie Herrmann

Kashana's avatar Kashana @kashana.bsky.social
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In a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court says you should be killed faster.

8 replies 61 reposts 245 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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Oh, he absolutely believed that fish to have been sent from God (not even being snarky - this is per his story).

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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It is just possible enough that I'm afraid to Google it.

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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He was so insistent on describing the fish as benevolent. Like there are other fish that appear in the sky when you've been lost in the woods for days, but they're kind of jerks.

3 replies 7 reposts 141 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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Moral: There are all kinds of folks in this world. Even lawyers. Just, all kinds.

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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Every once in a while, someone will learn I'm a lawyer and look impressed. I immediately feel compelled to tell them I graduated from law school with a guy who got lost on a camping trip, wandered for days, and now credits his rescue to a benevolent fish in the sky that led him out of the woods.

26 replies 38 reposts 393 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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Omg I just cried actual human tears over a car while muttering about bucket seats.

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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Dear Martha Ann, I had an abusive ex who called me a "feminazi" whenever I stood up for myself. That term is meant to shame women who dare to think for themselves. My last name is also conspicuously German. I would change it before using it to intimidate a single person. Shame on you.

1 replies 0 reposts 28 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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I can't get over the 50 people who rode in on only 2 kayaks

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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They're just two people with no tools and that's a big shark up on that medical table situated just so

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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"Evelin" (the car in the show) is a 2002 WRX. I had a 1999 base-line Impreza. But take away the hood scoop, spoiler, and bug-eye headlights and that's my girl.

1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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Turned on Twisted Metal (TV show) and to my delight: Anthony Mackie is tooling around in a heavily sun-faded fire-engine red Subaru that very closely resembles the car I drove through most of my teens and 20s. I couldn't escape all of this nostalgia even if I wanted to.

1 replies 0 reposts 8 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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Walking my dog today, I tripped over the rusty, skeletal remains of a years-old political sign in a median. I was wearing flip-flops, and the frame stuck in the back of my shoe while I hobbled across the remaining 2 lanes of traffic. Still. Damn if it isn't the metaphor that stings the most.

0 replies 1 reposts 18 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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Hi, one swimsuit, please. (Sales rep grabs arm full of swimsuits). Yep, for swimming. Uh-huh. In water. (Puts half of the suits back) What's that? Oh, I guess it should cover both of those things, right? (Only one suit left) Even when swimming. (Lights store on fire).

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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I spent my afternoon hiking into - and out of - a gorge. I saw: - 2 deer - 1 bunny - 0 legal documents

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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I had never heard the name of this Texas Act before today. The "Human Life Protection Act." Not too proud to admit: I had myself a little cry. Every part of that name is a lie.

1 replies 1 reposts 13 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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The number and ways I've heard courts explain that law enforcement officers are not attorneys and can't be expected to understand . . . the law. Here's Texas saying that (non-attorney) physicians will assess a treatment-based law written by (non-physician) attorneys with no issues spotted.

2 replies 3 reposts 26 likes

Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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Me: (strolling in, setting a cup of coffee and a pack of cigarettes down on the table). You'll have to forgive my partner. He thinks everyone is a cop. How about I ask him to leave, and you and I just talk? You know. Just us cops (prolonged eyebrow raise).

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Katie Herrmann's avatar Katie Herrmann @katieherrmann.bsky.social
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I responded to being called a coxswain by exercising the highest form of speech: flag-based.

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Reposted by Katie Herrmann