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pee wee herman-palladino@markpopham.bsky.social |
they should invent a night time grooming routine that isn't five hundred fucking steps long. i should just lay down in bed and a couple of technicians come in and work on me like a fuckin race car
24 replies 185 reposts 1225 likes
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Brian
@brianxsmith.bsky.social
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Like in the first season of Westworld. Shut me down remotely, haul me to the lab, repair my damage, wipe my memory and put me to bed.
0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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ChickCreative.bsky.social
@chickcreative.bsky.social
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My skin looked so much better when I stopped all that shit. Now it’s just brush teeth, take meds, rethink my entire personality and off to zzzzzzz time!
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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tara 🏖️
@magnolia2010.bsky.social
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this old UPS ad had the right idea. youtu.be/PBtGZphA7WE?...
1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Kira
@kmaustinyoung.bsky.social
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Rotate my tires. Floss my teeth. Apply my face creams and tinctures.
1 replies 0 reposts 37 likes
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Elars
@elars.bsky.social
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Alternately, I would also accept not working so much that I cling to the little free time I get so much that I neglect myself in my escape before giving in and collapsing in bed.
0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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stunt double
@highplainsdrifter.bsky.social
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Deafening air tools whir around me as I sink deep into the bed enveloped in darkness
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Stephen Judkins
@stephenjudkins.bsky.social
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That thing where I fuck around on my phone on the couch for half an hour longer than I should because flossing sounds like too much damn work
0 replies 0 reposts 24 likes
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Christina
@uluvlucy.bsky.social
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Need that Jetson's automated hygiene machine 🚀
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Dert6
@hexedbydert.bsky.social
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There's a quadriplegic on TikTok whose night time routine is exactly this
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Leah Jaclyn
@leahjaclyn.bsky.social
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I want people to take me from the couch actually!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Max 🏳️⚧️
@panduino.social
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Going to bed like how Tony Stark puts on the Iron Man suit
0 replies 2 reposts 7 likes
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Wonkish
@wonkish.bsky.social
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I've long wanted Wallace & Gromit's Self-Care Contraptions to exist.
1 replies 0 reposts 10 likes
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Cadbury Creme Egg Enthusiast
@thx3188.bsky.social
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5 shower heads pointed in different directions and a carwash soap blaster for shampoo and body wash application before walking through a giant dyson blade dryer
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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MV
@mvw2.bsky.social
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The so-called advancement of skincare technology has not been a labor-saving development.
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Samantha Kutner
@ashkenaz89.bsky.social
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Instant follow. 😂
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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diamond
@diamondqc.bsky.social
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bonus if they match current formula one pit stop times, it'd be done sub three seconds 😂
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Not an OG Just a G
@wilgafney.bsky.social
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I have a friend who swears she can wipe off make up and wipe on face cream and brush her teeth in five minutes.
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Johnny Brainwash
@johnnybrainwash.bsky.social
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put out a little saucer of whisky and the grooming fairies take care of it all while I sleep
0 replies 0 reposts 18 likes
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pee wee herman-palladino
@markpopham.bsky.social
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this would read funnier if i had said "work me over like" etc. etc. You live you learn!!
1 replies 0 reposts 32 likes
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Eddie Dolan
@eddiedolan.bsky.social
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Have you tried being a bloke? Lie down then sleep. Clean teeth first if you had garlic with supper.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Candace Harper
@foxglovefiction.bsky.social
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I will always want the “arriving at the Emerald City” treatment from Wizard of Oz and I shall likely never get it.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Deceased Supreme Court Justice William Rehnquist
@rigamarock.bsky.social
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absolutely convinced this is what rich people do and that’s why they’re always like “well why do you need toilet paper anyway” because their shit gets vacuumed out by RoomBed
0 replies 0 reposts 13 likes
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Karen M. Poremski
@kmporemski.bsky.social
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Seconded!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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CisHet Billionaire
@bennettelder.net
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“Jack, paint me like Grease Lightning”
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes