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Mike Drucker@mikedrucker.bsky.social |
23989 followers 407 following 471 posts
Emmy-nominated TV writer and comedian. wrote a book about Silent Hill 2. Newsletter: tinyurl.com/ytjvhjsb Email: mikedruckerisdead @ gmail .com
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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It’s the 4th of July and all I see are people talking about the divisions in America when we should be celebrating our greatest achievement: Launching a world wide offensive against aliens after uploading a computer virus made on a MacBook
9 replies 14 reposts 237 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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You gotta be fucking kidding me with this email
31 replies 62 reposts 421 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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America is super fun! Being homeless is illegal, but being the most powerful man in the country means you’re immune from prosecution!
12 replies 107 reposts 494 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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I hope tonight’s debate helped independent voters decide which candidate is the best golfer
4 replies 11 reposts 145 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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Proud of my work as Biden’s debate coach. I hope he followed my winning strategy: “Talk about important policies the same way you’d describe a weird dream.” Too bad I’m on a road trip with my loving family so I can’t watch tonight. Can’t wait to find out how it went! No spoilers!
1 replies 16 reposts 191 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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America is like a television show in its last season and the showrunner has a deal somewhere else so they’re just trying to rush through to the end
30 replies 104 reposts 1040 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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Nothing says “these men aren’t too old” like having a shouting match over their golf handicap
26 replies 99 reposts 943 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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when someone says you’re the worst president in history
1 replies 9 reposts 70 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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This isn’t important in any way, and I know America is in crisis, but there is a subtle battle going on between who has had weirder hair work done
5 replies 11 reposts 145 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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this debate feels like getting your ass kicked even though the game is on Story Mode
5 replies 47 reposts 731 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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disappointed by tonight’s debate performance from Fire Marshall Bill
1 replies 3 reposts 43 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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When you need DayQuil for your throat but accidentally grab NyQuil
1 replies 1 reposts 79 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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I think we can rule out the “Biden took uppers” angle
9 replies 54 reposts 422 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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LET'S GET READY TO SHIT SHOOOOOOOW!
1 replies 6 reposts 65 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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lol, lmao even
5 replies 3 reposts 82 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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Every AI generated video looks like when someone uses stock footage to recreate a movie trailer
4 replies 4 reposts 108 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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I wrote about how I’m personally going to force game companies to put in all the stuff you hate. Calling the CEO of video games as we speak
45 replies 225 reposts 1066 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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damn, dude
150 replies 903 reposts 4450 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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Seeing a lot of comedians disappointed they didn’t get booked to meet the pope this year. It’s a grind, folks. It’s a numbers game. It took me three auditions before I got my pope visit. It can hurt a comedian’s career to meet the pope before they’ve got a TV ready 45 minutes
4 replies 2 reposts 79 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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I don’t always unlock all of the achievements in a game, but sometimes - sometimes - you’re that good
8 replies 0 reposts 64 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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I’d love to cook healthier food but unfortunately when I was growing up my mom acted like even touching raw chicken would kill you on the spot
9 replies 2 reposts 137 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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Every 7 seconds, the average man thinks about Balatro
13 replies 29 reposts 158 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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So psyched to finally get to see my friends’ new comedy, Mars. Got to hangout with Sam Brown and Timmy Williams yesterday for the first time in years and it healed my soul. I can’t wait for this. I love these guys and their comedy so much.
3 replies 0 reposts 23 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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You look like me if I had made better choices as a child
1 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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Man, the week of Memorial Day is ROUGH for that family
9 replies 221 reposts 1025 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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“If a president can face consequences for breaking the law, you could too!” isn’t the compelling argument people seem to think it is
6 replies 68 reposts 429 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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former 1-term president, current 34-count felon
0 replies 6 reposts 151 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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34 counts of lol, lmao even
6 replies 102 reposts 1082 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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5 replies 11 reposts 109 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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I wrote for the Sports Emmys last night and the gift bag included the last suit I’ll ever wear
4 replies 2 reposts 71 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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Thank you!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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A few of the most annoying people online have become angry at this joke column I wrote. I apologize to anyone who has experienced such a strong emotional response to it.
42 replies 228 reposts 1018 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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and now we start something good
1 replies 0 reposts 36 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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Depression went shopping, baby, and the delivery truck has arrived
3 replies 1 reposts 74 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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For about two decades now, my notes on Mother's Day gifts to my mom have become increasingly unhinged, vaguely insane, passive aggressive attacks on my siblings. She loves this bit but you know every florist who sees it has to wonder what the fuck is going on.
2 replies 7 reposts 204 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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Thanks to Jay Jurden, Cristela Alonzo, River Butcher, and and Laurie ! Such great shows and crowds this weekend! And thank you to Netflix for having me!
0 replies 1 reposts 33 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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I don’t even think Dracula has that many negative songs about him
12 replies 14 reposts 180 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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It would honestly make me really sad if someone was that good at rhyming about how bad I am at life
2 replies 33 reposts 297 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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A terrifying preview of some of the games that might appear and/or be given away at the shows. Also, different shows, different comedians, different games.
8 replies 1 reposts 32 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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May 5th, 2:00 pm, The Egyptian Theater: - Cristela Alonzo - River Butcher - Jay Jurden - Nimesh Patel Tickets:
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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May 4th, 2:00 pm, The Egyptian Theater: - Ron Funches - Alex Edelman - Emmy Blotnick - AND A SURPRISE GUEST WHO I'M EXTREMELY EXCITED ABOUT Tickets:
1 replies 0 reposts 8 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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THIS WEEKEND! Amazing comedians join me to make fun of some of the WORST GAMES OF ALL TIME as part of the Netflix Is A Joke festival in Los Angeles. Oh, and I'm giving away some of the bad games for free! May 4th & 5th, 2:00 pm, The Egyptian (Details below)
2 replies 1 reposts 17 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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IN ONE WEEK! I'll be making fun of some of the worst games of all time with some of the best comedians I know. And then, I'm going to give some of those awful games away - FOR FREE. May 4th & 5th, 2:00 pm, the Egyptian Theater in LA. All part of the Netflix Is A Joke festival! (Ticket info below)
3 replies 6 reposts 30 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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Please don’t believe this is real okay? Unless I’m silenced
2 replies 1 reposts 151 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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Excited to announce I’ve been paid $5,000,000 for my new comedy special, “They Won’t Let You Do Comedy Anymore” for a big streamer. It’s shot at an opera house that sits 5,000 cheering fans. My opening bit will be about me being silenced. The rest will be how much I hate my wife
46 replies 383 reposts 2474 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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MAY 5h! Awful games! Amazing comedians: - Cristela Alonzo - River Butcher - Jay Jurden - Finding Nimesh Tickets:
0 replies 2 reposts 7 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
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MAY 4th! Terrible Games! Great Comedians: - Ron Funches - Alex Edelman - Emmy Blotnick - And a surprise guest who will make you very happy. Tickets:
1 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
[ View ] |
IN ONE WEEK! I'll be making fun of some of the worst games of all time with some of the best comedians I know. And then, I'm going to give some of those awful games away - FOR FREE. May 4th & 5th, 2:00 pm, the Egyptian Theater in LA. All part of the Netflix Is A Joke festival! (Ticket info below)
3 replies 6 reposts 30 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
[ View ] |
May 5th, 2:00 pm, The Egyptian Theater: - Cristela Alonzo - River Butcher - Jay Jurden - Nimesh Patel Tickets:
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Mike Drucker
@mikedrucker.bsky.social
[ View ] |
May 4th, 2:00 pm, The Egyptian Theater: - Ron Funches - Alex Edelman - Emmy Blotnick - AND A GENUINELY GREAT SPECIAL GUEST Tickets:
2 replies 1 reposts 8 likes