Oak J. Croissant's avatar

Oak J. Croissant

@oakcroissant.bsky.social

6 followers 25 following 45 posts

Husband, monkey, heavy breather in rotary phones from the 90s (no evil intent, just asthma), bellybutton lint aficionado.

Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Babe, wake up, new male personality type just dropped

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Reposted by Oak J. Croissant

Max Dubler šŸ³ļøā€šŸŒˆ's avatar Max Dubler šŸ³ļøā€šŸŒˆ @maxdubler.com
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You, a carbrain: Iā€™m on a highway to hell Me, an urbanist who values sustainable transportation: Iā€™m going off the rails on a crazy train

10 replies 300 reposts 1341 likes

Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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I can believe it. The legends were trueā€¦ itā€¦ it can be done?

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Add label ā€œwonā€™t fixā€

1 replies 0 reposts 17 likes

Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Uhm, itā€™s almost as if the point of art is to learn to empathize through the shared human experienceā€¦ nah! Itā€™s to watch cool dudes in spandex fight CGI aliens!

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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The sucker should have invested in sblorps like I told him. You canā€™t boop the flap if you donā€™t juice the gizmo. Rookie mistake.

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Was it, to be exact, a gum of the chewing kind?

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Reposted by Oak J. Croissant

Ethan ā€œFink-Nottleā€ Kocak's avatar Ethan ā€œFink-Nottleā€ Kocak @blackmudpuppy.bsky.social
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I feel like crawling into a hole and screaming

9 replies 2 reposts 24 likes

Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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*johnny cash voice* i hurt myself owie

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Teens are dying on e-bikes. Right, and how many are dying in car accidents? Should we ban those too?

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Folks, itā€™s official. Iā€™m having a breakdown in slo-mo.

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Am I out of touch? No, it must be the women who are wrong!

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Itā€™s that sweet sweet capillary action that gets you

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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That son of a bitch was right. He was right once again!

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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You donā€™t actually need to do it. Baking soda and vinegar will work just as well.

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Fun fact: contrary to popular belief, adding ā€œfactsā€ at the end of your post does not automatically make the content of your post true and indisputable. Facts.

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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You got it all wrong pal, itā€™s the bacteria who hope you like what they made you eat

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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I was today years old when I learned having cheekbones means you are a man ???

1 replies 0 reposts 8 likes

Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Now, to take the ferry cost a Nickel

1 replies 0 reposts 23 likes

Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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ā€œThe end of social mediaā€. I see someone went to drama schoolā€¦

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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One manā€™s nuts are another manā€™s treasure

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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WOMEN. They like shoes. But MEN. Well let me tell ya. Men like football. Amarite?? *raucous canned laughter from the audience*

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Oak J. Croissant

pineapple princess šŸ”’'s avatar pineapple princess šŸ”’ @spindlypete.bsky.social
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when a restaurant only has savory breakfast like habanero whiskey duck egg skillet and they don't have sweet breakfast like french toast etc that is misogyny and it is illegal

24 replies 28 reposts 375 likes

Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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My mother: it wouldnā€™t kill you to call me more often Also my mother: I never know what to tell you because nothing has happened in between our last two calls

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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For a moment I thought the rainbow was shooting OUT of the shield and I was like man I gotta get me one of those.

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Theyā€™re really just trying to squeeze the fun out of every aspect of the human experience arenā€™t they? Let me automate human connections so thereā€™s nothing left for us to live for.

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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I donā€™t care if you hated him and think heā€™s guilty. I liked Simpson. My favourite was that episode were he pilots a nuclear submarine into Russian waters.

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Canā€™t the owners of the baby just put it in flight mode like everyone else is expected to do with their phones?? Rude!

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Reposted by Oak J. Croissant

Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Yeah, right, like Iā€™m gonna believe some ā€œscientistā€ that the sun is going to disappear from the sky.

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Imagine what went through the head of the first person ever who decided to try and eat cheese. Thank you for doing us a solid you absolute legend.

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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With my last breath I whisper to the emergency responders: ā€œBut the truck is fine, right? Right?ā€

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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And you naively hope it would work with us? Well let me tell ya: it did.

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Those who think a bridge can withstand a cargo ship ramming into it are the same people who think they would beat a bear in a fight.

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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One of my favourite graphic novels! I canā€™t recommend it enough.

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Me in my twenties: haha! the 6am flight will save me 10 bucks! What a steal!

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Angrily shakes fist at screen: those damn socialist blocks!

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Oak J. Croissant's avatar Oak J. Croissant @oakcroissant.bsky.social
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Watched the Tetris movie the other night. Wasnā€™t aware it single-handedly brought down the Soviet Union.

1 replies 2 reposts 3 likes