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Pwnallthethings@pwnallthethings.bsky.social |
New York. 2034. The judge enters. "We're here for the 185th case in Carroll vs Trump". Eight lawyers for Carroll enter, dressed in suits made of solid gold. Trump's attorney enters looking like Castaway Tom Hanks. The judge begins "let's get started". The foreman shouts "$80 billion". Judge sighs.
22 replies 250 reposts 1247 likes
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Ol' Chef Dan
@olchefdan.bsky.social
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Jarndyce and Jarndyce
2 replies 0 reposts 16 likes
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JoyousPanther
@joyouspanther.bsky.social
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2 replies 0 reposts 62 likes
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Robert Black
@hurricanexyz.bsky.social
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(The suit is at this point against Trump's estate, but his social media accounts somehow STILL keep perpetual-motion defaming her??)
1 replies 0 reposts 19 likes
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Critical Russ Theory
@russellgaleti.bsky.social
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One truly hopes heart disease has done its thing by then, but who the hell knows
1 replies 0 reposts 8 likes
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Stef @wikisteff@mastodon.social Christensen
@wikisteff.bsky.social
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...next case: same thing, but his attorney is a potato with a face drawn on it crudely.
2 replies 0 reposts 21 likes
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Bylo
@bylo.bsky.social
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0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Pete Willis
@petewillis.bsky.social
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The AI hologram overtop Trumps' grave grips the shimmering podium. Carroll's lawyers gather round. The hologram squints and looks sideways and speaks. "I didn't even..." The lawyer's phones begin pinging with deposit notifications.
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Rich
@hopstache.bsky.social
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If that motherfucker isn’t dead by then, I swear to god…
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Cloud's Strife
@jmgreene28.bsky.social
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The punitive damages get $100 Billion higher.
0 replies 0 reposts 28 likes
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@georgethomas.bsky.social
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😂That cracked me up!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Rob is reading manuals 🧭
@robisreading.bsky.social
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Trump gonna be the first guy to get additur on appeal so we can finally get one for the casebook.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Campfire Headcase
@vidoqo.bsky.social
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The Grand Old Republican Church of MAGA Party has a special tithe carve-out solely for paying legal fees.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Angelo Zanola
@angelozanola.bsky.social
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We Have Always Lived in the Carroll
0 replies 0 reposts 15 likes
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Rage Against The Miami Sound Machine
@randymiller.bsky.social
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They should just schedule sequential trials in advance and give Trump 5 minutes on the stand after each one
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Danger Manley
@dangermanley.bsky.social
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📌
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Mike Rodriquez
@allthepages.org
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Can they still keep suing a dead man?
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ellz
@ellz.bsky.social
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Pitch accepted Start casting
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Kalanai
@kalanai.bsky.social
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Let’s hope he’s no longer around by then
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Real Benisons
@realbenisons.bsky.social
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Bernie Mac bad santa hologram “Half”
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Pam Nash
@pamnashes.bsky.social
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Help! 😁 I’ve a few questions, as this is a totally different system to here in the UK. Is there a monetary limit to what the jury can award to E Jean? If he continues, can she continue to bring cases? Is it true that he can’t appeal unless he lodges a bond equal to the amount E Jean was awarded?
2 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Mark
@marksimploding.bsky.social
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This literally described the entire “group”. In a constant state of loop, glitching because their made up shit doesn’t work in reality.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes