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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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If a staff member approaches you, asking you to help them leave, report it to management to earn $100 in chips.
1 replies 2 reposts 27 likes
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River Side Casino@riversidecasino.bsky.social |
1394 followers 32 following 1865 posts
The Best Casino On This Side Of The Hoover River Slots, table games, championship golf, luxury spa, sweat lodge, ball pit, dining options, concert/convention center, and some other stuff. Possibly haunted.
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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If a staff member approaches you, asking you to help them leave, report it to management to earn $100 in chips.
1 replies 2 reposts 27 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Our golf course was recently recognized as “Only somewhat dangerous” so we’ll take that as a compliment.
1 replies 6 reposts 30 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Lost some fingers while playing with fireworks yesterday? You’re in luck—many of our slot machines require no more than a single finger to press the Bet button!
1 replies 9 reposts 47 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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It is. It is indeed.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Setting off all our Fourth of July fireworks at once was deliberate.
1 replies 3 reposts 30 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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The employee who performed “I Got America (In My Pants)” at last year’s July 4 BBQ is debuting his new song "Land Of The Free (In My Gym Shorts)" at today’s cookout.
0 replies 4 reposts 24 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Come on. Pleeeeeeease!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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If you enter your hotel room and find a doll head on the bed, go ahead and drink what’s inside it.
3 replies 14 reposts 65 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Are crypto and bitcoin the same thing? Either way, we don't accept it.
2 replies 5 reposts 29 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Want a military discount and $25 in chips? Talk to one of our on-site recruiters! We'll throw in a free cocktail if you join the infantry!
0 replies 6 reposts 20 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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They do have feelings.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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We are still confirming rumors that the feral cats have been spotted wearing hard hats near no man’s land.
2 replies 4 reposts 20 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Licking a slot machine does not improve its luck. Please stop licking the slot machines.
5 replies 8 reposts 46 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Spotlight Employee: @professorkiosk.bsky.social joined our Marketing Team as an intern and has recently been promoted to "Intern With Benefits (not medical or dental, just the gross stuff)." When the Professor is not working in the Marketing bullpen, please check the roller rink.
3 replies 8 reposts 17 likes
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
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Revenge is a dish best served with cilantro
4 replies 28 reposts 73 likes
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
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Anything can sound ominous if you call it premeditated
14 replies 34 reposts 91 likes
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
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Could a depressed person do this? *eats spaghetti with a straw*
1 replies 42 reposts 104 likes
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
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Bipolar in the streets, also bipolar in the sheets
2 replies 38 reposts 107 likes
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
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There's a special place in hell, quite lovely this time of year, great appetizers
4 replies 56 reposts 125 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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How much casino credit can you get for your first born? You might be surprised.
0 replies 12 reposts 30 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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The chimp we rescued from the carnival has been promoted to pit boss.
2 replies 2 reposts 35 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Don't break the casino's rules about fireworks or you'll find out how fire works.
0 replies 6 reposts 20 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Our Slots Extravaganza Million Dollar Giveaway has been canceled because our CEO needed a new 75-foot yacht.
0 replies 5 reposts 16 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Oopsy!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Please speak to a manager if you experience a winning streak lasting more than four hours.
0 replies 2 reposts 16 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Come spend Monday mornings here with us! That’s when we clean out the ball pit and auction off all the weird stuff we find down there.
3 replies 3 reposts 27 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Go ahead and stand behind the seniors at the slot machines and make jackpot noises. It's not illegal.
1 replies 4 reposts 34 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Again, we do not have a petting zoo. The goats you see on the property have a different purpose.
1 replies 8 reposts 39 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Our influencer program never really got off the ground because of all the disappearances.
0 replies 8 reposts 28 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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People always ask us, “Why is there llama hair in the hot tubs?” And we wish we knew, we really do.
3 replies 11 reposts 43 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Come see the bucket hat Bob Denver was wearing when he died.
0 replies 8 reposts 43 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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You know that famous painting of dogs playing cards? We tried to recreate that image using employee dogs and three managers got kennel cough.
0 replies 1 reposts 27 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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We will never use your player’s card to affect wins and losses. We will use it, however, to collect information about you, including fingerprints, DNA, prescription medications, and who you voted for on the last five seasons of American Idol.
1 replies 3 reposts 18 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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We just moved up the list to the Second Most Haunted Casino in the Midwest! Congratulations, we couldn’t have done it without you!
3 replies 5 reposts 31 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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The casino regrets to inform guests that seal clubs have been banned from use on the golf course.
3 replies 7 reposts 21 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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There’s a small cost for that, same as what we charge for extra ranch dressing.
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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If you’re watching the debate at the casino right now, stop by the diner for some free corn.
1 replies 3 reposts 32 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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While we upgrade our servers, please refrain from straining our system by viewing our website or winning jackpots.
1 replies 6 reposts 36 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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People often wonder if the ball pit is indeed bottomless, and that’s usually the last time those folks are ever seen in this world.
1 replies 12 reposts 35 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Yes, we are working on a casino app for your Jitterbug phone.
0 replies 3 reposts 32 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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The casino staff is attending customer service training, so guests are on the honor system today. Don’t make us regret this.
3 replies 8 reposts 43 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Hey, one of our former employees was featured on Wheel!
2 replies 25 reposts 132 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Be a freak all you want. There's no kink we do not wholeheartedly support, except for whatever was going on in room 412 last night. Gross.
1 replies 15 reposts 55 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
[ View ] |
If you use our soda fountain to do that thing where you mix all the flavors together, we will have you ejected.
1 replies 12 reposts 49 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Deal of the week: Rooms on the third floor are 10% off, on account of the haunted gurgling coming from the plumbing. You might even get used to it!
0 replies 2 reposts 17 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Who’s ready for Taco Tuesday at River Side Casino??? We were, but then our tortilla guy got stopped at the Canadian border.
0 replies 5 reposts 26 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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We're selling CDs of last week's Jeff Dunham performance, though the idea of someone paying money for that is so sad I have to go lie down.
2 replies 4 reposts 24 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
[ View ] |
You may spot a guy who looks like Tom Arnold. We don’t think it’s Tom Arnold, but he does give really great $3 shoulder massages.
2 replies 8 reposts 33 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
[ View ] |
If we ever email you a weird-looking file, go ahead and open it. We would never send you a virus or anything like that.
1 replies 3 reposts 29 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
[ View ] |
No, we don’t know why there’s a drunk raccoon in the billiards room. It’s best not to ask too many questions.
1 replies 9 reposts 34 likes