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Brosephine Wires
@joparkerbear.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Nearing the peak of my chicken pot pie era
3 replies 26 reposts 55 likes
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊@professorkiosk.bsky.social |
803 followers 457 following 4315 posts
Not to brag, but my therapist says I’m their dream client
🏳️🌈 He/him
My Stuff: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:plpviiolyyfxmopm6cqloy2b/feed/aaaixp73zpsx6
Bangers: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:plpviiolyyfxmopm6cqloy2b/feed/aaajqswcg7w2k
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Brosephine Wires
@joparkerbear.bsky.social
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Nearing the peak of my chicken pot pie era
3 replies 26 reposts 55 likes
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Jamestopher
@tarnation.bsky.social
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I guess I’d question putting on the lotion too if it meant I could have the hoes again
1 replies 13 reposts 17 likes
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Boy Shop Pot
@potshopboy.bsky.social
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The plural of Bigfoot is Bigfooti.
6 replies 31 reposts 54 likes
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
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Best invention ever I’d say
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Inventing a generator that runs on corn dogs and corn dog-precursors
2 replies 21 reposts 45 likes
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River Side Casino
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Though we lost over 200 employees to COVID during the first 18 months of the pandemic, those numbers have since tapered off.
#BetBig #RiverSideCasino #CovidDeathToll
0 replies 2 reposts 19 likes
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Jamestopher
@tarnation.bsky.social
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insane that a HOA thinks they can infringe on my 2A rights and not permit a simple moat
1 replies 7 reposts 21 likes
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
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I only fuck with real power, like rodents running on wheels type of electricity
3 replies 34 reposts 78 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
If I was wise I'd say live every day like you have to answer this
5 replies 45 reposts 127 likes
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futurejeffrey🙋🏻♂️
@lacroixboi.lol
[ View ] |
I was trying to get the car next to us to play Rock, Paper, Scissors but the cop kept telling me to “keep it down back there”
3 replies 22 reposts 60 likes
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Ashley, 69th of Her Name
@ashleysays.bsky.social
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I cursed you and your whole bloodline please respond
0 replies 17 reposts 54 likes
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Staff Chief of Joints
@etrain.bsky.social
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*opens humidor, revealing it's full of corn dogs* Help yourself. Take one for the drive home too. Don't be shy.
3 replies 24 reposts 95 likes
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Darius Whiteplume
@dariusw.bsky.social
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Why is it called a vibrator and not a selfie stick?
2 replies 15 reposts 33 likes
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Deviating from the norm by normalizing deviants.
0 replies 20 reposts 43 likes
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I was better off with just Monopoly
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
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I feel a little ridiculous owning an X Box Series X, a PlayStation 5, a Nintendo Switch, a Steam Deck, and an Alienware PC because I inevitably go back to playing Fallout Shelter on my phone.
1 replies 2 reposts 7 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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Okay, now explain it to me again as though I’m a theoretical physicist
7 replies 58 reposts 146 likes
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Hollywood Hill
@hollywoodhill.bsky.social
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I really was not prepared for summer in Asstown. The smell! 😭😭
0 replies 6 reposts 11 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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they way light mode shines on your maniacal face in the dark
4 replies 57 reposts 135 likes
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@electricchimp.bsky.social
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dude who's determined to see Menace I Society first
0 replies 7 reposts 14 likes
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Splendid Hobo
@splendidhobo.bsky.social
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I couldn't find the existential dread emoji so I just used the egglant
4 replies 32 reposts 70 likes
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I tried AI once and let me tell you it tasted terrible
2 replies 10 reposts 25 likes
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
[ View ] |
404 Not Found
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Quick wit is sexy, but be careful lest you match wits with someone only to find out both of you have grown so sexy it hurts
2 replies 15 reposts 76 likes
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Before the internet, people had to search Google using Morse code.
3 replies 10 reposts 31 likes
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martha dumptruck
@octofussy.bsky.social
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we have got to make bears BIGGER
1 replies 9 reposts 26 likes
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donni saphire
@donni.bsky.social
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I refuse to act in my own self interest, that’s for dorks
3 replies 20 reposts 81 likes
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
[ View ] |
That’s hot
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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yoyo
@deadgirlyoyo.bsky.social
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hot singles near you are being incinerated
2 replies 7 reposts 22 likes
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An Dipshit™
@andipshit.bsky.social
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Sperm Count? We call that the cum-census
1 replies 5 reposts 17 likes
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I masturbate in fear every night
15 replies 39 reposts 97 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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You’ll know when I’m really excited because my crystal will begin to glow
3 replies 29 reposts 56 likes
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Pretty Good Mike
@prettygoodmike.bsky.social
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stop liking me for my posts and start liking me for my sweet moves
2 replies 17 reposts 39 likes
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weeder
@weeder.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Squeegee Inventor: I'm gonna call this somethin fuckin crazy
1 replies 11 reposts 48 likes
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filth_waste
@filth-waste.bsky.social
[ View ] |
all sales are final. look beyond the sale, there is nothing. not even light
2 replies 44 reposts 146 likes
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𝔏𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔏𝔬𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢
@fleurkenstein.bsky.social
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Thanks for liking but not reskeeting my posts, my parents are also hard to please.
0 replies 3 reposts 9 likes
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weeder
@weeder.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Nice to meet you, Glen. Is that short for Glenjamin or Gleonard?
8 replies 10 reposts 53 likes
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Dan Cerinthedark
@etbeeegood.bsky.social
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every time you stop making sense David Byrne’s suit grows 2 sizes
11 replies 130 reposts 580 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
[ View ] |
“YES, AND” ME, YOU BITCH
9 replies 33 reposts 98 likes
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Jamestopher
@tarnation.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Me, flirting with clown: So, does the carpet match the drapes
3 replies 21 reposts 60 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
[ View ] |
HOW IT STARTED: [me, crying] HOW IT’S GOING: [me, crying and sweating]
8 replies 96 reposts 394 likes
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Nonfic-Jen
@jenyetagain.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Luigi going to a mansion for a vacation again "this time will be a-different..."
1 replies 2 reposts 18 likes
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weeder
@weeder.bsky.social
[ View ] |
That post you deleted was actually my favorite, bro. You gotta believe in yourself, dawg.
3 replies 31 reposts 125 likes
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Jamestopher
@tarnation.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Ever meet someone so funny that you just know their entire childhood was a nightmare
1 replies 31 reposts 160 likes
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filth_waste
@filth-waste.bsky.social
[ View ] |
in fairness, i can't handle you at your worst or best and most assuredly deserve neither
0 replies 12 reposts 41 likes
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Hadas Weiss
@hadas.bsky.social
[ View ] |
deleting my post isn’t enough i need to kill anyone who'd seen it
8 replies 43 reposts 220 likes
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Haiku Platypus
@haikuplatypus.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Tightly wound, and I contemplate wound versus wound. Do I wound tightly?
2 replies 14 reposts 32 likes
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Jamestopher
@tarnation.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Fore skins and seven bris ago
1 replies 10 reposts 22 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Welcome to Idiotville, I am a idiot.
4 replies 21 reposts 49 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
[ View ] |
[Doing a standup set that’s nothing but poorly revised Mitch Hedbergisms like “popcorn is really good if you want to eat I dunno, probably like 150 of something”]
1 replies 5 reposts 19 likes