|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Huh... for a second there, I didn't hate everything. Wow, that was weird, not sure I liked it.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf@zwolf.bsky.social |
96 followers 137 following 443 posts
Zwolf666 from Twitter, before Elon turned it into 4chan. Affably misanthropic hellspawn who needs a place to put goofy things he says. mastodon.world/@Zwolf at Mastodon, mightyblowhole.blogspot.com/
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Huh... for a second there, I didn't hate everything. Wow, that was weird, not sure I liked it.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
The Volatile Mermaid
@ohnoshetwitnt.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Celebrating our independence from a monarchy while on the brink of a dictatorship feels unsettling. Like when you get a birthday reminder on Facebook for one of your friends who’s dead.
5 replies 115 reposts 495 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
One thing is clear: they have some kind of plan to keep Democrats from ever winning an election again. They wouldn't dare do this, or their Project 2025 thing, if there was a possibility that their opposition could play by those rules.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
|
Aaron Rupar
@atrupar.bsky.social
[ View ] |
When Trump is rounding up people with impunity and the imprimatur of the nation’s highest court at least folks will be able to take comfort in the fact the slightly older guy is no longer president.
9 replies 53 reposts 356 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
There must be some other guy in this town who looks exactly like me, and he must be a real jerk, judging from the hateful things people yell at me by mistake.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Fun fact: it's impossible to draw any picture of George Latimer without people accusing you of making fun of him.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"That's not who I am." - everybody who's ever finally gotten a bad reaction for being exactly the kind of scumbag they've always been
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
They not only don't realize everybody makes fun of Trump, they don't get that THEY'RE also the butt of a million jokes for getting fooled into supporting that clown. MAGA supporters are the laughing stock of the world. They'd be embarrassed if they had any sense.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The most hilarious part of "hilarious" has gotta be the "Larry-ass" part.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I've got this stuff you put on your hands, says it's "sanitizer." I wonder what it'd do if I put it on my crazy co-worker's head.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Gee, I hope he's not okay...
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Happiest of birthdays! Hope it's a great one, somebody got you a cake and a bunch of presents, and there'll be many more! :)
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
To make the debate fair, they're going to ask Biden questions on the economy and foreign policy, and they'll ask Trump things like, "If a vampire and a bear got in a fight, who would win?"
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
scott linnen
@scottlinnen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Not being thrown in a gulag and murdered is on the ballot.
0 replies 5 reposts 14 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Starting to see squirrels with little hats glued to their heads. That means old Mabel down the road has stopped taking her pills again.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"Yeah, well, they can arrest me, but they can't un-beat your ass." - dialogue from last year's Thanksgiving dinner
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
It's gotta be a really weird story, but at some point somebody must've been rescued by one of those big sandwiches.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I just saw this really incredible animal. It had a head like a cow, and its body had four legs with hoofs on them, and was really big and bulky, kind of like a cow's body. Okay, maybe it wasn't that incredible after all, now that I think about it.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"If you're looking for your friend," she said, pointing at some soaring buzzards, "there's probably some of him up there." - from my romance novel
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I'm not impatient, I just wait very passionately.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
Karen Tozzi
@karentozzi.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Hey, good to see you, I don’t have much time to talk, but would you be a dear and hand me that bag of snakes and bees?
0 replies 14 reposts 72 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Chickens are really dumb. I can beat them about 80% of the time in chess.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Everybody's against zombie apocalypses, but at least you can just kill zombies without them wanting to "debate" you about a bunch of horseshit they heard on YouTube.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Nationalist Christians... Nat-C's for short.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Every jacket is reversible when you just don't give a damn.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
OB-GYN Kenobi -- a concept I thought up but have no idea what to do with
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I'm gonna have a story published in the Garbology Anthology that's coming out in a couple of months (for GarbAugust -- it's a reading event, see CriminOlly on YouTube if you're unfamiliar with that). Only $15 in paper, so start setting aside some spare change now! :)
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
That's the thing: he's BORING. Trump is BORING. But his base operate on an intellectual range of infants, so they like this Teletubbies "do it again!" stuff. I work with one of 'em and she says everything at least 8 times because her brain's so geared to repetition... everything's a chant.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
He's SO goddamn stupid. And his supporters are even stupider. Eventually a lot of 'em are going to be embarrassed that they felt emboldened enough to reveal their worst traits, but it'll be too late then.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
|
Seth Masket
@smotus.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The fact that Dems, within 16 years, nominated an environmentalist and a feminist for president, who won the popular vote but lost the EC, and that the party's overwhelming response was not "We must abolish the EC" but "Heh yeah our nominees sucked lol" is such a classic case of learned helplessness
47 replies 218 reposts 1057 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
If Trump wins, they'll cheer for numbers that are half of what Biden's bringing in, while still saying Biden's numbers were terrible. They already did this with Obama. As soon as Trump could get credit, they loved Obama's numbers... even though Trump's were always LESS.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Everything's a grift. The Republican party is barely even pretending to be a political party anymore... it's nothing but televangelism with a bunch of crappy products to sell. This is what comes of figuring out your base is made up almost entirely of morons.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"I don't know why I like mayonnaise so much. It's probably the taste." - the highlight moment from a half-hour "conversation" my co-worker insisted on having about mayonnaise
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
They'll do the same thing they did last time -- take even worse numbers than the ones they used to complain about and say they're GREAT because they can give Trump credit for 'em. They hated Obama's economy, but it was always moving faster & stronger than Trump's ever did.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Chase your dreams. You have to -- they're running from you because they know you're crazy.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I can't count the number of times I skipped math class.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I've traced everything back and discovered that the world really started getting crappy when they stopped putting toys in cereal boxes.
0 replies 2 reposts 10 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Birds are jerks. Next time you see a bird poop on a car, watch it afterward. Some other bird will always fly over and high-five it.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Why did the chicken cross the road? Quit asking. It's none of our business. It's chickenbusiness. Trust the chicken to know what it's doing. Chickens do all right if you just quit pestering 'em.
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Welcome! :) Xhitter has become nothing but a garbage can. I only go there to be unpleasant and hopefully hasten its demise. Bluesky & Mastodon are the only places I bother to write anything that isn't venom. Don't waste anything good on Elon's folly.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
There we were, gambling for relatives. "Auntie up," I said.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
Jake_Vig
@jakevig.bsky.social
[ View ] |
You had me at "hello"... ...and then immediately lost me because you kept saying more things
0 replies 11 reposts 69 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Breaking: in an ironic twist, Mother Teresa found not guilty!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I'm pretty good at playing the tuba, although I can only play one tune, which I composed myself. It's called "Wounded Moose."
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I'm going to? Start talking like? That actress in the Jacuzzi Bath Remodel commercial? Where I make every part? Of a sentence into an absurd question? And see how long? It takes somebody in real life? To start screaming at me? That I'm driving them crazy?
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
D.N. Schmidt, Space Opera Author 🛸
@writepop.bsky.social
[ View ] |
My Mom hates swearing, so at family gatherings, my siblings and I stick to words that sound dirty but aren’t. You sexfoiled bumfiddler! You lobcocked clatterfart! You wankapin tit-tyrant! After an hour of that, she begs us to switch back to cursing.
4 replies 7 reposts 24 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"The pastor did a kick-ass sermon today! He ROCKS!" - somebody I don't think I'd like
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Okay, I'm done improving.
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
|
|
Zwolf
@zwolf.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The next time you see someone's belly button, lift up your shirt, show them your own belly button, and give them a meaningful look and a nod and a thumb's up.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes