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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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BREAKING: Double Entendre Society reports huge growth in members
15 replies 296 reposts 915 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛@catcreature.bsky.social |
107 followers 19 following 130 posts
writer, editor, fiasco • GenX • pet cats and scorpions
spider hobbyist: instagram.com/creature.triple.feature
the compleat horror: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaitollnu7ie
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
[ View ] |
BREAKING: Double Entendre Society reports huge growth in members
15 replies 296 reposts 915 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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It's called Horse d'Oeuvres
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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For me, the flip side of having OCD intrusive thoughts is that sometimes the images and scenarios that suddenly pop into my head are so hilarious I laugh out loud
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Yep. At work, our flagship online publication is one of the leading sources of expertise on the niche topics we cover, rich in good keywords that should be picked up, but Google almost completely ignores us in favor of dumbed-down SEO-ified boilerplate. It sucks and it's costing us revenue.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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You could say that
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Hey, I'm posting from the shower! This is really c
1 replies 4 reposts 13 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Sometimes it's better to think inside the box. #cats
0 replies 0 reposts 13 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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I want people I know to adore me and strangers to fear me, and I'm not really nailing either
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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My cats don't understand why I go somewhere else during the day to take my naps
0 replies 1 reposts 5 likes
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
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Can someone explain to me what I’m talking about?
12 replies 36 reposts 96 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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It's a true imbroglio only if it comes from the Imbroglio region of Italy. Otherwise it's just a sparkling shitshow.
1 replies 2 reposts 10 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Over here they're freedom fries
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Thanks. I grew up in male locker rooms.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Those wannabe dicktators
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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slop enjoyer
@slop.guru
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nobody is talking about the mandatory penis inspections outlined in project 2025
1 replies 2 reposts 5 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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COP [gun drawn]: "All right, who's hiding in that dumpster?" ME [muffled]: "Just garbage."
0 replies 3 reposts 6 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Sorry, that was the Neanderthal DNA talking
0 replies 8 reposts 16 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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That's the spirit. The only rat race I do is the one in which I pursue rats into alleys on my walk home.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Career advancement? No thanks. I've had the same job for 22 years because it's pleasant, I walk to work, and I've never needed a car. That's the kind of success that matters to me.
1 replies 1 reposts 17 likes
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Mary Kobayashi
@marykoco.bsky.social
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It’s okay to start your day at 5pm sometimes. It really is
1 replies 4 reposts 27 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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With you, except "waiting for" is replaced with "having severe anxiety about"
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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You need your own TV nature show
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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For just such occasions, I keep a set of vampire fangs and a blood capsule in my mouth
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Alas, I'm not subscribed to the duel thing. In reality, my ass has been kicked enough for one lifetime.
2 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Had too much caffeine and fought the office printer
1 replies 2 reposts 10 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Challenge accepted
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Information from reliable sauces
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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jump scare
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Life with scorpions is never pointless
1 replies 10 reposts 20 likes
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slop enjoyer
@slop.guru
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you idiot you absolute fool
0 replies 2 reposts 10 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Is this a distress signal? Are you kidnapped and need help?
1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Texting is fine if you like that sort of thing but I prefer the old-fashioned methods of communication, such as frequent territorial pissing
0 replies 13 reposts 20 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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It's the modern campfire
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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But apart from that, it all went well?
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Sadie
@sadieisupset.bsky.social
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Coworker tried to teach me how to drive stick shift during our lunch break and I managed to accidentally kill 42 people
8 replies 8 reposts 52 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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That's a barebones approach but I'll allow it
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Put those slackers to work
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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It must be lovely to be British, having pints down the pub in the city centre, returning home to watch colour programmes on the telly, and doing fancy thinges with the lettres of wourds
0 replies 7 reposts 17 likes
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slop enjoyer
@slop.guru
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showing the uber driver my cool bug collection
1 replies 2 reposts 13 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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This whole "hawk tuah" thing has exceeded my expectorations
2 replies 11 reposts 31 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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I won't hold it against you
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
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The only side effect of this medication I'd like to experience is death
6 replies 27 reposts 70 likes
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
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I’m too busy having my own episodes to watch any
6 replies 41 reposts 108 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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It's wild that some people just get to be born with brain chemistry that doesn't ruin anything for them
1 replies 17 reposts 44 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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If it makes me happy it can't be that bad, hahaha
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Never. I'm addicted and have a Kimtamine problem.
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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My five-year plan is haha just kidding I can barely function
0 replies 61 reposts 109 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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I would but I don't want to miss any discussion of Steven Spielberg's gripping 1971 made-for-TV thriller
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Send not to know for whom the bell tolls. Just play it cool, man.
1 replies 4 reposts 18 likes
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Matty Cat 🐈⬛
@catcreature.bsky.social
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Important meeting. #cats
0 replies 2 reposts 14 likes