Alan Cerny's avatar

Alan Cerny

@alancerny.bsky.social

549 followers 393 following 1551 posts

Writer for @vitalthrills.bsky.social, co-host of the @matineeheroes.bsky.social podcast, and Rotten Tomatoes credited reviewer. Spielberg biased.

Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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We now have businesses that damage the people who must use it because there are no other businesses that can do it because they have choked all competition and forced us to use their product with inefficiency and higher costs. This isn’t capitalism. It’s canceralism.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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Once a business gets so big, it becomes a cancer. It self-sustains as it becomes dangerous to its host. Even worse, it tries to convince the host that this is part of the natural order of things. But it isn’t.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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The current system we have isn’t capitalism. It’s something else. Capitalism as intended is supposed to punish those businesses that fail at their goals and reward those businesses that efficiently achieve those goals. The system we have props up failures and discourages innovation.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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I heard this in U2’s “Where The Streets Have No Name”.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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It shouldn’t be this difficult to exist.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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Yep. It’s true

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Reposted by Alan Cerny

Daniel Carlson's avatar Daniel Carlson @danielwcarlson.bsky.social
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It’s insane that the 4th-biggest city in the country can be taken completely offline by strong wind. The grid, the infrastructure, the resources, the planning: they’re all fucked.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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You get a state run by Republicans and then you wonder why everything’s a clusterfuck when a disaster happens.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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If you’re trying to get in touch, Houston/FortBend is hit hard with over 2 million without power. Trying to figure out what we’re doing tomorrow.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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Power still out, tree fell in yard. Okay for now.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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Looks like Houston/Fort Bend’s going to get a big chunk of Beryl tonight and tomorrow morning. We’ve already had lights flicker and it’s been raining quite a bit. Fort Bend is supposed to get 70 MPH winds tomorrow morning.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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Made some serious headway on the new website today. Thanks to @rodpaddock.bsky.social for helping me out. I'm giving myself the month to get something started, and then in August (my 55th birthday) I'm storming the beaches. Thanks again, Rod.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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The UK and France both telling their right factions to pound sand means we have to flip the story and get every single Democratic voter to the polls this year.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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The Inside Out characters in my head

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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So it’s probably not a good idea to get a tattoo with diabetes as it could be slow to heal and get possible infections. Bummer.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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Thinking about getting a tattoo for my 55th birthday. So far, there’s only one candidate:

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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Bought a book about sword fights in movies, going to see how much reading I can get into before the power goes out.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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You know the New York Times is flammable, right? I’m not just talking about the paper, either.

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Reposted by Alan Cerny

Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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TOP WEAPON: DISSIDENT new band name, called it

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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The degree of whooping the Conservative Party in Great Britain suffered yesterday… if the Democratic Party had those kind of margins here in the United States we wouldn’t be talking about the dumb things we talk about these days. We’d be making this place a hell of a lot better for everyone.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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On my physical media bullshit again. Damn Kino Lorber/Criterion sales.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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Yeah but I like that they put all that aside in the second half and show her as capable as Axel and that she shares his drive, just in a different way. I liked those scenes more than I thought I would.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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You don’t want to mess with that action/comedy mix too much, or people would complain that it strays too far from what makes these movies at their best as entertaining as they are. BEVERLY HILLS COP: AXEL F does the legasequel right.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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I didn’t find AXEL F overly nostalgic. It sticks to the template for these movies. The music is part of it. I love that Axel is still idealistic except that the machinery doesn’t work as well, and the movie acknowledges the passing of time. There’s enough new stuff that complements the old stuff.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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(The one line being that we used the alien tech we found at Area 51 to create computers, cell phone technology, so our systems were actually far more compatible so that a computer virus dismantling their systems would be plausible.)

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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I saw a video of @pattonoswalt.bsky.social today listing INDEPENDENCE DAY as a bad sci-fi movie that could be fixed with one line of dialogue. Now, I love INDEPENDENCE DAY. But he wasn’t wrong. The whole “uploading the virus” bit is really stupid, but they could have fixed it easily!

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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There is a bit of social commentary in KILL that hits harder the more I think about it. It’s sneaky how it does it, too. Some of the subtext probably plays stronger for Indian crowds but I was able to pull enough of it out to see that there’s more going on than just a pummel fest.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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My head canon has Hamm be the son of the guy who spilled his coffee from Maverick’s fly-by and later died of a stress-induced heart attack

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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Yeah, these kids don’t remember or weren’t there that summer. It kinda blew the roof off.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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The New York Times is only good for kindling but it’s July. Burn it in a barbecue but then it would make the food taste like shit. The words “free press” and New York Times only go together as you freely press one of their writers against the wall and give them a gigantic ass-flossing wedgie.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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KILL: An Indian army commando shreds a family of bandits on a moving train. Brutal, efficient, gets the job done, needed more humor but that’s not the story they’re telling. I loved how the bandits got emotional after Amrit demolishes someone in the family. Lots of enclosed-space combat. It’s good!

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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I will say this, that *one* cameo in BEVERLY HILLS COP: AXEL F which suggests a shared universe with another popular comedy makes my head spin. Oh well.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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Well, that was for sure a BEVERLY HILLS COP movie. Damn good one, too. Eddie Murphy’s full on engaged too. This was a blast.

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Reposted by Alan Cerny

Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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I would totally put all my points in Strength and Dexterity. All this Wisdom ain’t done shit for me.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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Vote. Donate. Volunteer. Love your friends, your family, and your significant others as hard as you can. Quietly listen as people anxiously worry about the future. Just do something, because the despair is what they want.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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TICKETS AVAILABLE! It’s my huge honor to introduce the Houston premiere of the 4K restoration of SEVEN SAMURAI on 08/10 at the Houston Museum of Fine Arts. This will sell out, grab your tickets now! www.mfah.org/calendar/sev...

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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TICKETS AVAILABLE! It’s my huge honor to introduce the Houston premiere of the 4K restoration of SEVEN SAMURAI on 08/10 at the Houston Museum of Fine Arts. This will sell out, grab your tickets now! www.mfah.org/calendar/sev...

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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I couldn’t tell you the story of ELDEN RING if you paid me to. I just know that every single creature is trying to kill me. I see these deep dives into the story and you just want to hand these kids THE SILMARILLION and tell them to write a book report.

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Reposted by Alan Cerny

Daniel Carlson's avatar Daniel Carlson @danielwcarlson.bsky.social
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Really glad I saw HORIZON: AN AMERICAN SAGA—CHAPTER 1. Ambitious and shaggy and imperfect, paced like a miniseries from 1986. Charmingly disjointed. I would help Costner fund the rest of the series.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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I forgot he wrote that too. Yep.

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Alan Cerny's avatar Alan Cerny @alancerny.bsky.social
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Steven Spielberg’s greatest collaborator, more than Michael Kahn, more than Janusz Kaminski, even more than John Williams, is Tony Kushner. Okay, bold statement, yes. But goddamn if the scripts of LINCOLN, WEST SIDE STORY, and THE FABELMANS aren’t sliced gold.

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