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Alan Cerny@alancerny.bsky.social |
549 followers 393 following 1531 posts
Writer for @vitalthrills.bsky.social, co-host of the @matineeheroes.bsky.social podcast, and Rotten Tomatoes credited reviewer. Spielberg biased.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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The degree of whooping the Conservative Party in Great Britain suffered yesterday… if the Democratic Party had those kind of margins here in the United States we wouldn’t be talking about the dumb things we talk about these days. We’d be making this place a hell of a lot better for everyone.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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On my physical media bullshit again. Damn Kino Lorber/Criterion sales.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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Yeah but I like that they put all that aside in the second half and show her as capable as Axel and that she shares his drive, just in a different way. I liked those scenes more than I thought I would.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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You don’t want to mess with that action/comedy mix too much, or people would complain that it strays too far from what makes these movies at their best as entertaining as they are. BEVERLY HILLS COP: AXEL F does the legasequel right.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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I didn’t find AXEL F overly nostalgic. It sticks to the template for these movies. The music is part of it. I love that Axel is still idealistic except that the machinery doesn’t work as well, and the movie acknowledges the passing of time. There’s enough new stuff that complements the old stuff.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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(The one line being that we used the alien tech we found at Area 51 to create computers, cell phone technology, so our systems were actually far more compatible so that a computer virus dismantling their systems would be plausible.)
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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I saw a video of @pattonoswalt.bsky.social today listing INDEPENDENCE DAY as a bad sci-fi movie that could be fixed with one line of dialogue. Now, I love INDEPENDENCE DAY. But he wasn’t wrong. The whole “uploading the virus” bit is really stupid, but they could have fixed it easily!
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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There is a bit of social commentary in KILL that hits harder the more I think about it. It’s sneaky how it does it, too. Some of the subtext probably plays stronger for Indian crowds but I was able to pull enough of it out to see that there’s more going on than just a pummel fest.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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My head canon has Hamm be the son of the guy who spilled his coffee from Maverick’s fly-by and later died of a stress-induced heart attack
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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Yeah, these kids don’t remember or weren’t there that summer. It kinda blew the roof off.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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The New York Times is only good for kindling but it’s July. Burn it in a barbecue but then it would make the food taste like shit. The words “free press” and New York Times only go together as you freely press one of their writers against the wall and give them a gigantic ass-flossing wedgie.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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KILL: An Indian army commando shreds a family of bandits on a moving train. Brutal, efficient, gets the job done, needed more humor but that’s not the story they’re telling. I loved how the bandits got emotional after Amrit demolishes someone in the family. Lots of enclosed-space combat. It’s good!
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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Seated for KILL.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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I will say this, that *one* cameo in BEVERLY HILLS COP: AXEL F which suggests a shared universe with another popular comedy makes my head spin. Oh well.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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Well, that was for sure a BEVERLY HILLS COP movie. Damn good one, too. Eddie Murphy’s full on engaged too. This was a blast.
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C. Robert Cargill
@crobertcargill.bsky.social
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Hey gang! Tickets are still on sale for our Junkfood Cinema Drive-In takeover! Come see Thank God it’s Samurai Day and Swayze Crazy Saturday!
www.simpletix.com/e/junkfood-c...
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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Elden Ring, obviously
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Crusher Joe
@crusherjoehtx.bsky.social
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Found your next purchase, @alancerny.bsky.social.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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I would totally put all my points in Strength and Dexterity. All this Wisdom ain’t done shit for me.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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Vote. Donate. Volunteer. Love your friends, your family, and your significant others as hard as you can. Quietly listen as people anxiously worry about the future. Just do something, because the despair is what they want.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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Social media this week
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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TICKETS AVAILABLE! It’s my huge honor to introduce the Houston premiere of the 4K restoration of SEVEN SAMURAI on 08/10 at the Houston Museum of Fine Arts. This will sell out, grab your tickets now! www.mfah.org/calendar/sev...
0 replies 5 reposts 2 likes
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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TICKETS AVAILABLE! It’s my huge honor to introduce the Houston premiere of the 4K restoration of SEVEN SAMURAI on 08/10 at the Houston Museum of Fine Arts. This will sell out, grab your tickets now! www.mfah.org/calendar/sev...
0 replies 5 reposts 2 likes
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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I couldn’t tell you the story of ELDEN RING if you paid me to. I just know that every single creature is trying to kill me. I see these deep dives into the story and you just want to hand these kids THE SILMARILLION and tell them to write a book report.
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Daniel Carlson
@danielwcarlson.bsky.social
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Really glad I saw HORIZON: AN AMERICAN SAGA—CHAPTER 1. Ambitious and shaggy and imperfect, paced like a miniseries from 1986. Charmingly disjointed. I would help Costner fund the rest of the series.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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I forgot he wrote that too. Yep.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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Steven Spielberg’s greatest collaborator, more than Michael Kahn, more than Janusz Kaminski, even more than John Williams, is Tony Kushner. Okay, bold statement, yes. But goddamn if the scripts of LINCOLN, WEST SIDE STORY, and THE FABELMANS aren’t sliced gold.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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Watching LINCOLN.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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With that New Line logo in front of it, if HORIZON had begun with Cate Blanchett speaking in a Southern drawl, “The West has changed. Y’all feel it in the water… much of once was is lost, for none now live who were yonder,” I would have cheered.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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I did like how Costner stayed in the house during the Apache attack. Claustrophobic and intense.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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I actually wish there was voiceover or narration that could have made the film have a steadier throughline.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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There is a lot to admire, though. There are some great characters and there is definitely a vision behind it, it’s just too big to grasp the full story yet. Costner’s painting a huge canvas and we’re only privy to the top left corner of it. I’ll see HORIZON PART TWO. It’s just a huge piece of movie.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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HORIZON: AN AMERICAN SAGA PART ONE: One of the most ambitious films I’ve seen in a while. But it’s not cohesive and has definite highs and lows. It’s not a movie for lightweights; if you lose the plot it doesn’t wait for you to catch up. It’s a lot to take in and it doesn’t end, it just stops. (1)
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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Criterion sale at B&N.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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I’m sure Trent Reznor had no idea of THE BEAR when he wrote GHOSTS, but it’s goddamn perfect.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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I saw a bright red Cybertruck today. It looked like a humiliated apple.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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Splits on the kitchen counter or it didn’t happen
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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Ah, Martin Mull. Time to break out CLUE.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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I may be biting off more than I can chew, but I have another creative project I want to attempt, along with The Crying Dad Reviews (which is still happening, it’s just waiting on me to get some things going). I’ll know more in the next few days, but it’s something I really want to try to make work.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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Congrats bud!
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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Look, I don’t care if Biden spent the entire debate making fart noises with his mouth. Look at the mostly idiotic decisions coming down from the Supreme Court this week, and think how much worse it would get if TFG is president again. I hate this reality. Hate it.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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Got my LONGLEGS press invite and I’m excited. Scared too, it’s one of those horror films, judging by the reaction so far, that’s probably going to do a number on me.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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I’m not watching, and neither should you. Watch THE BEAR, that dropped yesterday. Watch flies die on the windowsill. Have sex with your SO. Anything else, I don’t give a shit. No one will say anything to change anyone’s mind. It’s a worthless couple of hours.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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On a day like this, your neighbors are just a stone’s throw away.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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I loved Michael Sarnowski’s PIG but there’s not a lot in that to suggest that he had A QUIET PLACE: DAY ONE in him. This is a big scale film and he handles it well.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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A QUIET PLACE - DAY ONE: Holy crap. This was PHENOMENAL. May be the best of the series so far. Only thing I missed was Millicent Simmons, but this isn’t telling that story. Score is magnificent. Frodo the Cat is the greatest cat. Lupita Nyong’o and Joseph Quinn are terrific. LOVED IT.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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Also, people tend to attach modern politics to these things and often those ideals don’t track with the reality of the time. Like it or not, things were different back then. Not saying better, just different.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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HORIZON: AN AMERICAN SAGA is mostly critic-proof for me. No offense, but there are a lot of critics out there who don’t know how to review Westerns. They have a different pace, and what some might find dull or boring are often some of the best stuff in Westerns. I’ll judge this one for myself.
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Alan Cerny
@alancerny.bsky.social
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My depression has an odd way of sneaking up on me. Also, it’s very tied to how much I worry about what other people think of me. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. It’s stupid.
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