Matt Wallace's avatar

Matt Wallace

@mattfnwallace.bsky.social

1128 followers 240 following 2459 posts

I write. On purpose. New MG novel NOWHERE SPECIAL is out now! My epic fantasy SAVAGE COMPANY is out now in the UK! CLOCKWORK REVOLUTION for XBox, PC, and Steam is coming in due time!

Reposted by Matt Wallace

L. D. Lewis, Sea Witch Apologist's avatar L. D. Lewis, Sea Witch Apologist @ellethevillain.bsky.social
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This is also why it's so important to live your life not online all the time. There's a certain amount of performance to personality in online social spaces where one may feel compelled to love or loathe or opine or Take Positions because that's how one Engages a platform. But what if you...didn't?

2 replies 30 reposts 125 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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David Zaslav, and everyone like him, would quite literally feed you and your family thru a machine that converted you all into a cheap fuel source if it were legal for him to do so or even just required paying a small fine.

8 replies 70 reposts 200 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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Super glad writers of novels and video games and comics in America have really strong industry-wide union represen oh wait oh shit oh no

2 replies 18 reposts 39 likes

Reposted by Matt Wallace

Kevin Elliott's avatar Kevin Elliott @kjephd.bsky.social
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This is the fundamental reason the Republican Party didn't write a platform in 2020. They don't want to have an official statement of their policies because they're so cartoonishly evil and unpopular. Writing them down officially makes them harder to deny

0 replies 28 reposts 106 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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I am sad Cobra Kai is coming to an end, but all things must. I just took so much surprise and joy from that show. I would 100% watch a Chozen spinoff. I would 100% write a Chozen spinoff. Yuji Okumoto is the GOAT.

0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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Must be the gray hair. At least I hope it’s the gray hair.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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Roller coaster of emotions at the thrift store. They had a rare carded 1990 Ultimate Warrior figure which NEVER happens. They wanted $124.99 which should be ILLEGAL. I bought it anyway cuz it was a decent price…but paid way less? Checked the receipt. The young lady gave me THE SENIOR DISCOUNT. WTF??

4 replies 0 reposts 10 likes

Reposted by Matt Wallace

John Wiswell's avatar John Wiswell @wiswell.bsky.social
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It's not that Godzilla X Kong is without flaws. It's that I make a mental note of anyone who cares about those flaws so I can hang out with other people. The dinosaur suplexes the gorilla, people. We needed this as a culture.

8 replies 9 reposts 57 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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You get one. And you have to eat the whole thing using only a steak knife.

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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How is protecting people my job I am a cook not Superman

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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One (1) meal. Limited sides selection. No drink.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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A Roman gladiator movie starring Denzel and Pedro Pascal is a conspiracy to take my money specifically

2 replies 1 reposts 25 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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Can you like, give someone a dollar to put ice in their mouth and blow cool air at you for a while

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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Premee please remember to only travel at night and that you can burrow steeks into the ground to find water

1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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No, Jackie Mason from CaddyShack II, none of this

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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You are describing the Deluxe Serrated Edge Platter

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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Free large soda, limited refills. If they had it coming.

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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If and when I have my own restaurant there will be a throwing knife target and anyone who can nail the bull’s eye on their first attempt will eat for free.

10 replies 0 reposts 34 likes

Reposted by Matt Wallace

kate conger's avatar kate conger @kateconger.bsky.social
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this mf did not contribute any value to the shareholders today

30 replies 27 reposts 456 likes

Reposted by Matt Wallace

Mo Ryan's avatar Mo Ryan @moryan.bsky.social
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I don’t know writer/journalist Annabel Ross personally, but what she had to say about the Gaiman situation covers a fair bit of what I think so far… now I’ll go back to trying to find an emoji that conveys “goddammit I’m so fucking furious & sad & exhausted”

open.substack.com/pub/politics...

0 replies 140 reposts 295 likes

Reposted by Matt Wallace

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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You know what’s funny is HOA’s are literally organized crime.

1 replies 0 reposts 11 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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Awwwwwww happy bday to them both 😍🎉🎂

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Matt Wallace

Christine Hanolsy's avatar Christine Hanolsy @hanolsy.bsky.social
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Finally started @premeemohamed.com's "The Butcher of the Forest" last night, and I'm glad I waited to savor this one. I picked it up in part because Premee seems neat and in part because the cover is GORGEOUS, but I knew from the first page I'd fall in love with it. Can't wait to read more tonight.

4 replies 4 reposts 21 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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Aaaaaahhhhaaaahhh Kate thank you!! I hope you and yours are doing okay over there!

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Matt Wallace

Kate Elliott's avatar Kate Elliott @kateelliottsff.bsky.social
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This epic fantasy trilogy is doing so much interesting unpacking of the tropes of epic fantasy. Recommended. Start with SAVAGE COMPANY!

2 replies 9 reposts 22 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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Sharing this tweet by a middle school principal from Twitter because it genuinely made me Very Happy and also I need to sell books to make money because capitalism and survival and a career etc. so hopefully this will encourage you to buy said book for your young’uns.

0 replies 10 reposts 29 likes

Reposted by Matt Wallace

Jeff Stormer's avatar Jeff Stormer @jeffstormer.bsky.social
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I am here to once again declare that John Cena should star in an Ernest legacy sequel where he plays Ernest P. Worrell's improbably jacked son (it is never explained in any way why he is jacked)

39 replies 144 reposts 932 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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Sharing this tweet by a middle school principal from Twitter because it genuinely made me Very Happy and also I need to sell books to make money because capitalism and survival and a career etc. so hopefully this will encourage you to buy said book for your young’uns.

0 replies 10 reposts 29 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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I was only joking. I’ve been to Finland many times.

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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I believe that you believe that’s a real place

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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I can’t wait wait to have you sign a book to me that way

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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If I had a sub sandwich shop I’d offer Shrapnel Bowls made of all the sandwich trimmings and debris that gets scraped off the cutting board and for an extra dollar we’d cover it all in garlic mayo and it’d become the most popular thing on the menu and Shrapnel would be a billion $ chain in a year.

10 replies 7 reposts 69 likes

Reposted by Matt Wallace

Chef Gaykwon's avatar Chef Gaykwon @gaykwon.bsky.social
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This guy was such a G for telling his evil wizard cyborg boss that his religion is bullshit during a work meeting.

53 replies 646 reposts 3283 likes

Reposted by Matt Wallace

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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It’s not that I don’t respect your right to legally set off fireworks, it’s that held against literally any dog I don’t respect your existence. Like, if I could make you permanently not exist in order to avoid causing one dog even minor temporary discomfort I 100% would, zero hesitation.

0 replies 2 reposts 17 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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This is breaking and entering. Another charge for his list of crimes.

1 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

Reposted by Matt Wallace

Premee Mohamed's avatar Premee Mohamed @premeemohamed.com
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Me, doing siense:

0 replies 2 reposts 27 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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RIP all the nameless dudes in old western movies who ran out of a barbershop in the middle of a shave to join an in-progress gunfight on behalf of the villain while still wearing the barber’s cape and with half their face covered in shaving cream and who were immediately killed as a result. 🫗🫗🫗

1 replies 0 reposts 16 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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You really are trying to be Bluesky Hector aren’t you

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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Simply cannot get over the fact nearly every industry is sinking collective billions into a technology based on that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry dates the woman who obsessively tries to finish his every sentence and always gets it wrong.

1 replies 1 reposts 10 likes

Matt Wallace's avatar Matt Wallace @mattfnwallace.bsky.social
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Early morning thrifting yielded some bigtime scores today. Found this Medicom Retro Batgirl Sofubi mint in sealed box at a Goodwill for six bucks. Which is borderline miraculous. Also pulled a 1980 Mathquiz Calculator off a Savers shelf for three bucks. Still works!

1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes