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Kirk

@kirkbalden.bsky.social

7 followers 42 following 107 posts

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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I love covers, I have a whole playlist of them. Modern Love by Last Town Chorus? I had to pull my car over the first time I heard it. Last Tango in Paris by Gotan Project? Play it at my funeral. Can’t Help Falling in Love by U2 is my go to karaoke jam.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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For about 6 months in the late 90s “Come On Eileen” by Save Ferris was basically the anthem of Orange County.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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The Geoff McFetridge documentary is finally out! This movie is a great and inspiring portrait of an artist that also seems like a truly good dude. It's on AppleTV+ and probably other places too...

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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I generally bristle at suggestions that California is out of touch but my neighbor suggested yesterday that maybe Trump getting elected would be the “kick in the pants” that folks needed and in that moment I really had to rein in the desire to punch someone.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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Sonos was great. You could just buy speakers, plug them in, and the whole thing worked basically instantly. It’s as if someone at their HQ steepled their fingers and asked “but what if it… didn’t?” because man it sucks now.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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Nobody is going to fix it. What we think of as “fixed” is their “broken,” and they won’t allow us or anyone else to break what they just spent a lifetime and an unfathomable amount of money fixing.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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Occasionally someone comes riding by on a floor polishing Zamboni. Naturally this beeps as well.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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There’s a security guard with his radio turned all the way up who is also watching videos on his phone.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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First, the beeping. Every 15 seconds something beeps. I’m still not sure what or why.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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I’m stuck in an airport overnight after a mechanical problem forced us to deplane and the number of infuriating things occurring simultaneously is really quite staggering.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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I would like the next Apple Event to be like 10-15 minutes on new products and features and then 45 minutes on more considerate use of your phone in public.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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I have 5 followers, so I’ll just say that I’m in Como. It’s very nice. The water comes out of the ceiling in a huge sheet and slaps your skin as it falls, the toilet uses like 20 gallons of water for each flush. We took a boat to and from lunch. Clooney is probably around here somewhere.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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I’ve lived most of my life in either California (persistent drought) or New York (decrepit pipes, stingy landlords) so now that I find myself in a hotel with a shower that is basically a middle finger to the very concept of water conservation, I’m actually feeling guilty about how much I enjoy it.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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You’re going to be finding glitter on your clothes for months.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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I, for one, look forward to fewer teslas in the parking lots of Sunnyvale and Cupertino…

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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I was never a bartender and would be pretty bad at it, but that doesn’t stop me from looking across the kitchen counter and making flirty eye contact with my wife while building a cocktail and asking “so… how’s your night going?” Or presenting drinks with a barely audible “Ma’am…”

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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Don Draper “Thats what the money’s for” dot gif. Seriously though, the shit tons of unnecessary overtime at the end of their careers so that their pensions are extra juicy should be considered thanks enough.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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TIME Announces New Version Of Magazine Aimed At Adults

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Ray's avatar Ray @raymz.bsky.social
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To recap Mr. John Fogerty’s remarks: 1. down onna cawnah 2. outtie inna sreet 3. Willy enna pote bois a payin’ 4. binganicko bap you beep

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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I did not! This was at Television City in LA. I was a runner for a commercial edit house working on a promo for lord only knows what.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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Anytime the topic of Huell Howser comes up I’m obligated to tell the story whereupon I, 27 years ago, saw him at CBS shipping & receiving, hands on hips, looking around, mouth agape, saying with absolutely pure, unvarnished awe to literally no one, “So THIS is where alllllll the mail comes.”

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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A couple of HMX VH3s and 4 Ospreys just cruised over the house, bound for Moffett. My wife texted her dad with the news, and he had the NERVE to make a crack about the Osprey safety record. My dude, Ospreys crash because they’re complicated; the Sea King is from the 60s, they crash from old age.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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I don’t know if this counts as throwaway since there’s a whole setup, but: “Usually we just tape a bunch of cats together.”

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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Four. Their infant died a few days later.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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Apparently I don’t know the difference between an instagram story and reel, which is fine since I’m almost fifty.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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Throw in some AirPods and they are a genuinely incredible way to watch a movie.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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No one brought them to me though. I had to go and get them myself smh.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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I wish this was a joke but I’m not that clever: I observed the day of OJ’s passing by leaving my sunglasses at a restaurant.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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For a second I thought you meant Choire, who is definitely doing a bit here.

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man it's a hot zone,'s avatar man it's a hot zone, @mobute.bsky.social
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a version of "jolene" where she keeps singing "jolene" higher and higher and higher until you hear a pop

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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This movie was written by Tony “Andor, Michael Clayton, Rogue One, Bourne Identity” Gilroy and he’s, like PROUD of it.

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Neil Lewis, Jr.'s avatar Neil Lewis, Jr. @neillewisjr.bsky.social
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"the NYPD is doubling down on a strategy it’s been using since 2022...That program cost taxpayers an additional $151 million in officer overtime and resulted in about 34,000 more summonses for fare evasion" Wait what? 34,000 × $2.90 = $98,600 They're spending $151 million to recover $100,000? 🤔

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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I can’t handle a dead gorilla today tyvm.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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Navarro does this thing where he rolls up his sleeves and gesticulates confidently while spewing absolute horseshit. I would almost tune in to CNN to watch him spin, red faced and irate, so far and so fast that he disappears from view.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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Have you tried Cavatappi in M&C? It’s grippy and still gets nice and crispy in bits. Penne, on the other hand, is for fools.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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The dude in the middle front is production designer Tom Foden. He’s creepy looking but actually very nice. He also designed (and appeared in) Michael Jackson’s Scream, and probably a million other landmark music videos.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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When I was in high school a guy named Mark Schwing ran for office in Yorba Linda and… boy did he have trouble keeping yard signs in place.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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The Forks episode is magical though. I may watch it again tomorrow.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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I’ve long maintained that NYers have forced themselves to think they rule at all aspects of human achievement because otherwise it wouldn’t make as much sense to tolerate the daily indignities of living there.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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Mine is the Monte Cristo from Prune in the East Village, which is sadly closed, possibly forever.

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Kirk's avatar Kirk @kirkbalden.bsky.social
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Also, since when is celebrity meritocratic!? GMAFB

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