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messick.bsky.social@messick.bsky.social |
2 followers 24 following 35 posts
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Tim Onion
@bencollins.bsky.social
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"The Bernie Bros and K-Hive appear to be forming an alliance," I say at the 4th of July cookout. An anvil falls out of the sky directly onto my person, killing me instantly. God appears through the clouds. "I did that," he says. Family and friends applaud politely.
38 replies 271 reposts 2175 likes
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@messick.bsky.social
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Drone strike on Mar a Lago.
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@messick.bsky.social
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The only way I’ll vote for Newsom for President this cycle is if it’s for President of the California Republic.
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@messick.bsky.social
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It didn’t even need to be fake. He was already head of the CIA when UPC scanners were introduced in grocery stores. Then he was Vice President of the United States. How often does the head of the CIA go grocery shopping? Probably zero times. It was definitely zero times as VP.
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lowtax speedrun enjoyer
@rickywlmsbong.bsky.social
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“new york times columnists say biden should step down, but at this charlotte korean-mexican fusion restaurant, they still love ‘diamond joe’”
2 replies 7 reposts 79 likes
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@messick.bsky.social
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To get to his first Presidential Inauguration, Lincoln had to sneak through Baltimore dressed as a woman while being escorted by Allan Pinkerton just to foil an active assassination plot. That makes Maryland part of the South in my book
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@messick.bsky.social
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Ah, I missed the part where you just assumed those countless firms weren’t actually filing. My mistake. You’re right. Kinda dumb to get in on the part of the grift that doesn’t actually make money, but I guess it’s possible.
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@messick.bsky.social
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Are you asking how constantly suing the deepest pockets in corporate history can be a lucrative business strategy?
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@messick.bsky.social
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There are entire law firms whose only line of business is suing Apple on the most tenuous of circumstances.
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@messick.bsky.social
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This isn’t the result of iCloud backups. It’s is fundamental misunderstanding on how iMessage works across multiple devices. Although, ironically, we have since shipped a feature that does exactly what this dude thought was already happening, but was not at the time.
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@messick.bsky.social
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Bernie might still be POTUS this moment if he didn’t surround himself with the most insane people on Earth.
1 replies 0 reposts 8 likes
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Paul M. Cray
@pmc.bsky.social
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I have seen some bad takes on AI over the last couple of years. This may be the most stupid
62 replies 59 reposts 391 likes
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@messick.bsky.social
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“As a gamer…” is the all-time most cursed intro to an online discussion that a human can make.
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Popehat
@kenwhite.bsky.social
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Come back, John Brown.
9 replies 26 reposts 255 likes
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Jason Sullivan
@jason0x21.bsky.social
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One of the toughest problems Microsoft has to solve is that Windows has to serve two very different types of users: business users who don't want this at all, and home users who don't want this at all.
55 replies 962 reposts 2705 likes
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@messick.bsky.social
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My dad refused to follow the family tradition of my mother by naming his first born son after himself. He was a then 28 year old grown man still getting called “Tommy”. Today, I’d probably be a dude in his mid 40s getting called “Little Tommy”, so I thank him for his decision.
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@messick.bsky.social
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They should have just stated tasing him immediately as soon as he rolled up wearing those clear-lensed sunglasses, imo.
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@messick.bsky.social
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I refuse to believe that 99.9% of the replies are legit. Otherwise they would have long piss and shit themselves to death the first time someone did the ol’ “got yer nose!” trick on them back when they were toddlers, ensuring they could get get worked up on Twitter decades later.
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@messick.bsky.social
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It is not possible that this is a legitimate feeling you are experiencing.
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@messick.bsky.social
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It’s also streaming on The Criterion Channel app.
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Pat Inverted Vibe Curve Blanchfield
@patblanchfield.bsky.social
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I'm sick and tired of career politicians shooting dogs in a cynical bid to steal police valor
8 replies 253 reposts 1434 likes
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Ian Boudreau
@iboudreau.bsky.social
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The reaction to the Gaza protests reveals that there's a lot of people who genuinely cannot conceive of forming and holding a sincere, principled belief about the world on your own.
26 replies 267 reposts 1640 likes
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@messick.bsky.social
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She’d get less backlash if it were one of her own children in that gravel pit.
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@messick.bsky.social
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A therapist at Kaiser we saw when my now teenaged daughter was a toddler called this: “Don’t buy tickets to the gun show”
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@messick.bsky.social
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“Trivial” is overstating how difficult this is. Especially looking at how brownwhitelaw.com is configured, assuming that’s where the fake email pretended to be sent from.
Might want to have whomever handles your firm’s email to look into setting up a “strict” DMARC policy.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Mike Masnick
@mmasnick.bsky.social
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So, one, threatening someone with a machete does, in fact, remain a crime. But, two, can anyone find any report of someone killing three people in SF with a machete last year? Because I can't.
93 replies 75 reposts 688 likes
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Popehat
@kenwhite.bsky.social
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Same energy and remarkably similar fashion
26 replies 22 reposts 282 likes
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@messick.bsky.social
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Yeah, compared to him the charisma black hole known as Ron DeSantis is basically Bonnie and Clyde era Warren Beatty.
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The Washington Post
@washingtonpost.com
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you guys we talked about this
49 replies 1162 reposts 3426 likes
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Madhav Kurup
@madhavkurup.bsky.social
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Merrick Garland should be fired into the sun.
4 replies 12 reposts 210 likes
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@messick.bsky.social
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This is sending incredibly mixed messages to his supporters.
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Dell Cameron
@dell.bsky.social
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one for the books
33 replies 188 reposts 1323 likes
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@messick.bsky.social
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I guess Porter isn’t the only one delusional about this election.
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@messick.bsky.social
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Drive a tired joke even further into the ground? Gee I hope not.
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@messick.bsky.social
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I’ll be sure to use this reasoning next time someone adopts a kitten to be an outdoor cat and it gets run over by a car after six or so months.
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@messick.bsky.social
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OK, so it's a theory with no basis in history. Got it.
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@messick.bsky.social
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So, your theory is that an org that's acted as an occupying army for over 100 years is going to take orders from some hicks 4 states away?
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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@messick.bsky.social
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Well, we might immediately get President Newsom, because why be part of a union if one of the other 49 states can just send in troops to do shit you don't want done. We wouldn't even need to change our flag, it already says "California Republic" right on it.
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@messick.bsky.social
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Not sure "unrest" even begins to describe what would happen if the Texas National Guard was sent into Los Angeles to round up "illegals". Governor Newsom wouldn't even have to activate the CA NG, the LAPD could handle it.
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@messick.bsky.social
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His biological father might have been a Syrian immigrant, but his biological mother was from Wisconsin. But his actual parents were Paul and Clara Jobs of Mountain View, California.
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@messick.bsky.social
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The Atlanta Braves baseball team was in the National League West division until 1994.
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@messick.bsky.social
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The difference being that this time they could FAFO’ing like no one has ever FAFO’d before. They have no idea (probably because their daughters/wives no longer talk to them) how easily this could escalate and effectively end the GOP electoral chances in 2024.
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@messick.bsky.social
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I thought that about the Dilbert Guy the last time get divorced. He is a one man Manhattan Project on discovering new levels of being divorced.
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@messick.bsky.social
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Doh. Got my “…and they they decided to be bank” companies people always complain about mixed up. GE Capital only has $156B in assets.
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@messick.bsky.social
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That bank currently has $195B in assets on its balance sheet, so it worked out ok.
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@messick.bsky.social
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Almost a quarter century is sure a long time to use a public office as a “stepping stone”.
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@messick.bsky.social
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I’ve never anyone use it that wasn’t actively hosting a podcast about movies. And apparently you aren’t the exception, lol.
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derek van vliet
@derek.bike
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why do we have to keep learning this
37 replies 633 reposts 2699 likes