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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Like Biden, my inner monologue just sounds like the icemaker refilling itself at 1AM.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat@wurp.bsky.social |
75 followers 163 following 103 posts
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Like Biden, my inner monologue just sounds like the icemaker refilling itself at 1AM.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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After doing some research I am very sorry to announce that the Icelandic Tooth Fairy is NOT some kind of fucked up goblin that leaves soup in your kid's boot but is, in fact, an extremely standard tooth fairy. Very disappointed in you, Iceland.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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I'm gonna come right out and say that Father's Day isn't a real holiday like Christmas or Administrative Professional's Day
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Family has come to visit and like every year they will arrive with luggage stuffed with Icelandic candy and depart with edibles and Cheez Whiz.
2 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Dyskinesia Muffin
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Now it means "This pickup truck has free guns in it."
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Me in bed, edibles kicking in: "Do adults have outie belly buttons or is that a thing that goes away as you get older?" My wife:
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Excellent ad placement.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Here we go
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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I have a friend who works in purchasing at a crime lab and some of our chats seem unreal.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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nattie winters
@utilitylimb.bsky.social
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4 replies 90 reposts 309 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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It was only later that I realized Googling "Are there security cameras anywhere around Kissinger's grave" definitely got me put on a list.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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A sign I spotted at a local casino.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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1 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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Cats of Yore
@catsofyore.bsky.social
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Traditional masculinity is in danger of disappearing forever, we need to return to a time when Real Men carried tiny babby kittens around everywhere. Ca. 1915. ehive.com/collections/...
69 replies 643 reposts 3619 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Absolutely unhinged
0 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Our local pizza place has notzaralla sticks on their menu.
1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Superbowl V̅I̅I̅I̅CCXXIV halftime show is gonna slap.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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I know next to nothing about the Karen Read case but this guy's argument is compelling.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Broke: Shareholders hold corporations responsible by voting for the board of directors. Woke: Hairholders hold corporations responsible by performing hexes and curses.
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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HORMSE
1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Looks like Zeus is up to his bullshit again.
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Holy moley
0 replies 2 reposts 8 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Put this in the Louvre
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Happy Capitalism and Economy Fest to all who celebrate.
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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My kid's new Lego guy has a cochlear implant. Neat.
2 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Powerful "Site did a fucky-wucky" energy with this error message.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Reach out, touch faith
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Rob Sheridan
@rob-sheridan.com
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The people in the Facebook 12ft Skeleton Owners Group are on an unsustainable trajectory of absurdity and I’m 100% here for it
74 replies 1244 reposts 3867 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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God I was on that Coors tour and it was really weird that a multimillion dollar company was trying to serve a 17 year old beer in its own factory.
1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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I know this is obviously some sort of scam or scam-adjacent but for the life of me I can't figure out how.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Someone mailed my 8 year old daughter an unbidden Gambian spoon.
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Looking forward to replacing the front third of my car after someone backs into me at a gas station.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ian Boudreau
@iboudreau.bsky.social
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Let me into your driveway, I am normal and can be trusted with groceries
65 replies 131 reposts 842 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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My favorite early covid thing was Canada advocating glory holes as a preventative measure.
1 replies 4 reposts 19 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Someone left a note on my desk that raises many more questions than it answers.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Discreet packaging
0 replies 6 reposts 36 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Wednesday: Orders pizza because I'll be eating leftover turkey for the next week. Sunday: Orders pizza because I've been eating turkey for the last 3 days.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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At my highschool graduation they gave a special perfect attendance award for not missing a single day in 12 years to some kid I had never seen or heard of before.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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My wife had no idea what I was talking about when I mentioned this. I guess not everyone has conscious control over their eustachian tubes.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Does anyone else play little drum solos for themselves with the sounds your head makes (tooth clicks, popping ears, face muscles}?
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Yikes
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Thinking about the time my high school sex ed teacher announced to our class "2 people in your class are HIV positive. Good luck!"
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Mr President, the boys down at the lab are confident that by this time next year we will have cracked the ability to put 2 fingers in your mouth and whistle real loud like Uncle Bob.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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All day and night. There are like 10 people living there and 4 cars.
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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High thought: Going to start booping my car's horn with the remote whenever I hear the neighbors do theirs and see how long it takes them to say something. Not sure if this is a good idea.
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Hell yeha
2 replies 1 reposts 3 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Just spotted a mentat in the wild
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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Hell, same
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ornamental Dingbat
@wurp.bsky.social
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*RATTLING INTENSIFIES*
0 replies 1 reposts 7 likes