Inspector Ratchet

@1nspectratchet.bsky.social

1819 followers 1076 following 517 posts

I didn't ask to be here

instagram.com/1nspector_ratchet?igshid=NzZlODBkYWE4Ng==

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 16:18 UTC

I will manifest there

0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Reposted by Inspector Ratchet

JoWonderland @jowonderland.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 16:12 UTC

I was at Michael’s arts and crafts and they are ready for you.

2 replies 1 reposts 6 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 16:09 UTC

Now that 4th of July is behind us, it's time for me to furiously decorate for Halloween

2 replies 9 reposts 65 likes

Reposted by Inspector Ratchet

SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 22:37 UTC

Looking to ride the white pony tonight if you catch my drift (Gatorade frost glacier cherry)

0 replies 1 reposts 7 likes

Reposted by Inspector Ratchet

Aristophon @aristophon.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 10:34 UTC

brb. Gonna post this on 'Nextdoor'.

0 replies 2 reposts 10 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 14:29 UTC

I guess he's not cruci-fuckin around

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 14:29 UTC

Folks should we tell em

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 14:15 UTC

Jesus is canonically a Heinz Ketchup man

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 14:14 UTC

AND I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN 🎶🇺🇲 WHERE AT LEAST I KNOW I'M [redacted]

1 replies 11 reposts 37 likes

Reposted by Inspector Ratchet

Supine Jennings @supinejennings.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 14:13 UTC

Keep Christ in Christmas-in-July.

0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes

Reposted by Inspector Ratchet

vibeulator @vibeulator.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 13:30 UTC

He just couldn't help himself

1 replies 2 reposts 14 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 12:55 UTC

My fellow Americans: Don't forget to leave hotdogs on your porch for Jesus tonight 🇺🇲🎆🎇

17 replies 114 reposts 520 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 02:16 UTC

[Violently kicking down the door of an elderly care nursing facility] I NEED VOLUNTEERS TO RUN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

0 replies 14 reposts 57 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 02:00 UTC

If I was a foreigner visiting the United States for the first time I'd just get drunk at a baskin Robbins and then leave

3 replies 10 reposts 42 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 01:56 UTC

Debate drinking game: take a shot for every time you are disappointed, you should have died 27 years ago

1 replies 12 reposts 39 likes

Reposted by Inspector Ratchet

Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 17:05 UTC

Vitamins aren’t real. There’s no way I’m getting the same shit from lettuce, the sun, and a Monster energy drink

15 replies 123 reposts 605 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 18:59 UTC

Looking for some street legal Gatorade

2 replies 10 reposts 45 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 21:34 UTC

A bee just flew inside my car so I'll need a ride to work for the next 2-3 business years

0 replies 4 reposts 21 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 23:12 UTC

I don't need therapy. I just barked at a pedestrian crossing the street. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life

1 replies 17 reposts 62 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 12:45 UTC

"I still get butterflies around you" no baby that is either diarrhea or anxiety 💖✨️🙏

4 replies 9 reposts 33 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 13:01 UTC

I want to be Disney's first divorced princess

8 replies 34 reposts 169 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 20, 2024 at 01:08 UTC

💕💖🎖✨️🙏thank u friend!

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 15:34 UTC

When I die, I want my remains to be scattered at COSTCO. Also, I don't want to be cremated

52 replies 332 reposts 1829 likes

Reposted by Inspector Ratchet

Thundergasm Angrypants: Clint Howard Appreciator @therealdcf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 15:09 UTC

Tell him he can get an expansion pack with a DIGITAL thermometer! It costs $29.99.

0 replies 1 reposts 6 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 14:55 UTC

Got this game for my dad for Father's day! He hates it!

4 replies 35 reposts 319 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 11:01 UTC

In unison: "thank u McAfee"

6 replies 14 reposts 84 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 13, 2024 at 20:49 UTC

I'm done being the better person It's time to summon a biblical swarm of locusts

2 replies 19 reposts 49 likes

Reposted by Inspector Ratchet

Joni Mac'daHup'la™ 💬 @jonimacadahupla.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 07, 2024 at 18:56 UTC

I read a Corn Flakes box this morning. Surprisingly gripping. (Riboflavin did it)

2 replies 2 reposts 5 likes

Reposted by Inspector Ratchet

Justin Lacy @julyantics.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 07, 2024 at 21:21 UTC

He has no style He has no grace This Kong Belongs in The Hague

0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 07, 2024 at 14:27 UTC

Lanky Kong must be tried for his war crimes

2 replies 0 reposts 11 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 07, 2024 at 14:18 UTC

To play Donkey Kong 64, you MUST have the N64 Expansion Pack inserted into your control deck

0 replies 0 reposts 12 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 07, 2024 at 13:22 UTC

I get nervous telling people I like to read. "What are you reading?" The last piece of literature I read was the donkey kong 64 manual (pdf)

8 replies 36 reposts 156 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 06, 2024 at 01:40 UTC

Who up hobbying they lobby

3 replies 12 reposts 43 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 03, 2024 at 01:33 UTC

They should sell swords at gas stations

2 replies 33 reposts 97 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 01, 2024 at 17:13 UTC

"It's just down the street " - me describing a location 47 miles away

0 replies 17 reposts 55 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 01, 2024 at 13:03 UTC

"If you don't like it, keep scrolling " ok first of all, this is MY website

1 replies 5 reposts 43 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] May 31, 2024 at 21:14 UTC

Oh my god i remember this jingle

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] May 31, 2024 at 13:08 UTC

And for my next trick, I will be functioning on 3 hours of sleep and a Flintstones vitamin I ingested 27 years ago

3 replies 37 reposts 208 likes

Reposted by Inspector Ratchet

Beth @thisbethlife.bsky.social
[ View ] May 28, 2024 at 02:03 UTC

I cannot use the word casserole or my husband won’t eat it. Even if it’s a literal casserole. I’m just like, it’s a chicken and rice bake with savory cream sauce honey.

1 replies 4 reposts 22 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] May 28, 2024 at 01:14 UTC

Browsing for casserole recipes in incognito mode

2 replies 21 reposts 73 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] May 22, 2024 at 20:45 UTC

"What do you do for a living?" Suffer

4 replies 32 reposts 99 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] May 12, 2024 at 19:06 UTC

This is a mother's day tweet

0 replies 1 reposts 22 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] May 12, 2024 at 19:03 UTC

"Do you smoke the devil's lettuce?" Mom, why the h*ck would I smoke coleslaw

8 replies 99 reposts 541 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 19:24 UTC

My brain: You shouldn't eat so much The fat rolls on my neck: shut up

2 replies 4 reposts 22 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] May 10, 2024 at 13:43 UTC

Lmao UGH

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] May 10, 2024 at 13:37 UTC

Who in this room do you think has the lowest credit score

4 replies 6 reposts 28 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] May 04, 2024 at 14:56 UTC

May divorce be with you

3 replies 56 reposts 221 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] May 03, 2024 at 13:58 UTC

Happy Friday! Does anyone have any cool weekend plans? Here's mine:

2 replies 9 reposts 43 likes

Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] May 02, 2024 at 13:14 UTC

what generation do I belong to? context: I'm 300 years old and I like poptarts

7 replies 16 reposts 52 likes