Dropped Mike

@rebrafsim.bsky.social

1038 followers 222 following 965 posts

“jokes” header by Dave (Cactus)

Reposted by Dropped Mike

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
[ View ] Aug 23, 2023 at 20:25 UTC

I would organize my thoughts but I'm afraid they would form a union and demand benefits.

3 replies 56 reposts 100 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 30, 2023 at 11:41 UTC

me: I’ll take dare judge: no

2 replies 121 reposts 440 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 14, 2023 at 12:48 UTC

[leaving Hooters] wife: you thought there’d be owls me: *wiping away one tear* of course not don’t be ridiculous

7 replies 77 reposts 307 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 12:35 UTC

interviewer: can I get your references? me: *sighing* probably not; nobody else does

3 replies 122 reposts 365 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 09, 2024 at 21:46 UTC

guy who discovered fire: ow fuck ow

1 replies 39 reposts 129 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 15:04 UTC

interviewer: give me an example of a time when you took control of a situation me: no, YOU give ME an example interviewer: lol okay, that was pretty impressive me: I’m afraid we’re going to have to let you go interviewer: *being led away by security* what is happening right now

5 replies 294 reposts 1066 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2023 at 11:12 UTC

interviewer: it says here you’re not afraid to challenge authority me: no it doesn’t

1 replies 64 reposts 219 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] May 02, 2024 at 21:12 UTC

yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. I’ll be too busy panicking about the fuckin shadow of death

0 replies 41 reposts 127 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 09:44 UTC

I took everyone’s advice and ate the rich. They tasted like private jet fuel, foie gras and fear.

6 replies 67 reposts 201 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 08:56 UTC

This day in history. 1925. Guru Meher Baba began 44 years of silence during which he communicated solely by means of a squeaky rubber ducky.

2 replies 21 reposts 43 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 10:28 UTC

😂

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 09, 2024 at 21:46 UTC

guy who discovered fire: ow fuck ow

1 replies 39 reposts 129 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
[ View ] Dec 05, 2023 at 12:53 UTC

Why isn't there a Squirrel Week, Discovery Channel?

5 replies 42 reposts 86 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

bacon popsicle 🫀 @gupton68.bsky.social
[ View ] Oct 03, 2023 at 11:13 UTC

Whatever your age, I think you should try to learn something new every day. Today I learned that 55 year old men shouldn’t run for trains. Discovering that ambulance beds are surprisingly comfortable was merely a bonus lesson.

4 replies 61 reposts 156 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Oct 25, 2023 at 18:31 UTC

one time I was walking in lower Manhattan and a guy stopped at a light asked me if I knew where Laight Street was and I said no and he said “well can you take a fucking guess” and I’ve been thinking about that ever since

6 replies 29 reposts 122 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 07, 2023 at 11:36 UTC

first person to see an eclipse: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII . . . oh okay

4 replies 81 reposts 297 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 15, 2023 at 20:13 UTC

coward (adv.): in the direction of the cows

3 replies 65 reposts 163 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 01:01 UTC

rock: oh fuck I’m covered with paper tell my wife I love her

3 replies 114 reposts 455 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 21:22 UTC

[first therapy session] me: *sobbing* I don’t think I can do this patient: it’ll be okay

1 replies 102 reposts 581 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 17:38 UTC

Her: Your life just doesn’t seem to have a direction. Me: “Down” is a direction, Brenda.

1 replies 65 reposts 180 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 22:04 UTC

😂

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 13:21 UTC

omg how do they know

4 replies 39 reposts 140 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] Jan 20, 2024 at 11:39 UTC

Fact: In Australia, our lives would be circling the drain in the opposite direction.

5 replies 81 reposts 264 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 07, 2024 at 20:24 UTC

If I write the word “close,” which do you hear in your mind: close or close?

19 replies 31 reposts 65 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
[ View ] Oct 29, 2023 at 12:26 UTC

When one door closes leave it closed are you trying to heat the whole neighbourhood?

3 replies 44 reposts 93 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 07, 2024 at 16:41 UTC

Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks!

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 07, 2024 at 16:36 UTC

Thank you!

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 07, 2024 at 16:32 UTC

Aw, thanks, Abby!

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] Sep 30, 2023 at 10:45 UTC

Keep your friends close and their benefits closer.

1 replies 43 reposts 69 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 22:43 UTC

“What fresh fuckery is this?” I say while putting aside the expired fuckery.

11 replies 80 reposts 296 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
[ View ] Jan 20, 2024 at 13:24 UTC

The night keeps no secrets from me, I say, as I stay up past 9 PM.

1 replies 54 reposts 132 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 12:08 UTC

One night stand One nightstand Spacing is important if you don’t want to find divorce papers when you arrive home from furniture shopping

3 replies 36 reposts 134 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jan 20, 2024 at 16:58 UTC

detective: where were you on the night of— me: in bed detective: I didn’t say which night me: doesn’t matter detective: I didn’t say what time me: *looking him square in the eye* it doesn’t matter

1 replies 132 reposts 547 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] Oct 03, 2023 at 16:05 UTC

[first date] Me: So what do you do? Her: I’m a librarian. Me: *𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵*

2 replies 41 reposts 94 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 09:21 UTC

This day in history. 1350. The festival of San Fermín begins in Pamplona Spain featuring the daily running of the bulls and the even more daring skitter of the squirrels.

0 replies 15 reposts 30 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 19:34 UTC

can someone help me identify this birb

32 replies 88 reposts 424 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
[ View ] Sep 06, 2023 at 16:28 UTC

I learned the hard way not to take my good lute to a Renaissance fair.

5 replies 83 reposts 217 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Aug 06, 2023 at 15:48 UTC

a carnival tax? well, that’s a fair assessment

0 replies 23 reposts 59 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 03, 2024 at 08:06 UTC

Been learning phrases designed to defuse tense disagreements, like “Fair point” and “Let me know when you’re all finished being wrong.”

3 replies 52 reposts 108 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 23:04 UTC

Saw an AI fireworks show and a guy lost all 7 fingers on one hand.

22 replies 438 reposts 1605 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 19:49 UTC

😂

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 15:47 UTC

Welcome to the scratch paper museum please crumple up the guest book and miss the trash can

1 replies 67 reposts 130 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 16:56 UTC

Thanks!

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] Nov 18, 2023 at 21:53 UTC

One day you’re young and then suddenly you find yourself googling “restaurants near me open at 4:30pm”

11 replies 65 reposts 227 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] Dec 11, 2023 at 10:54 UTC

Today’s youth would never read 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘥 but might be enticed to read a very short version called 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘥.

4 replies 33 reposts 87 likes

Reposted by Dropped Mike

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 09:04 UTC

This day in history. 1803. The Louisiana Purchase. Thomas Jefferson added 828,000 square miles to the USA and his daughters hid his credit cards.

0 replies 24 reposts 51 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 11:59 UTC

😂

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 10:02 UTC

😭

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 09:53 UTC

Thank you!

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 02:37 UTC

😂

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes