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Jimmer Cork-Bottle@jimmerthatisall.bsky.social |
1591 followers 738 following 932 posts
From the twelve-winded sky. Profile pic 1972.
Discord: jimmerthatisall
My posts:
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2satfah44msc3khoojnhrvuj/feed/aaab3adsokgse
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Rachelle
@rasm69.bsky.social
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Wrapped in a gentle wind sent from a fair sky Leaves scatter about playing with my nimble feet I escape them as I move across the quiet street and continue to indulge in my blissful reverie
0 replies 7 reposts 11 likes
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Christina, mother of spiders
@aikiwomannc.bsky.social
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Watched my friend flop face first onto a motel bedspread. I had no idea she was such a risk taker.
0 replies 11 reposts 32 likes
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
@jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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This day in history. 1350. The festival of San Fermín begins in Pamplona Spain featuring the daily running of the bulls and the even more daring skitter of the squirrels.
0 replies 2 reposts 4 likes
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Chelle
@metallicunt.bsky.social
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Found half a panini and a French fry on my second floor balcony. Either the ravens are trying to feed me, or I have a very considerate stalker.
1 replies 11 reposts 23 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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My posts are not meant to be read they’re meant to be felt
5 replies 25 reposts 54 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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*knocking on the neighbor’s door* may I borrow a cup of uranium?
13 replies 33 reposts 67 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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We only celebrate the 4th so white people can gather and eat mayonnaise
12 replies 36 reposts 90 likes
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lalalyds
@lalalyds.bsky.social
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Too stoned for the dog to be jumping up real quick and staring at the door like that
3 replies 23 reposts 62 likes
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lalalyds
@lalalyds.bsky.social
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I can't go to sleep because I have to watch it rain
3 replies 24 reposts 87 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Me: Fuck…I need a break from the constant barrage of American politics. UK Politics: How do you do, my good sir?
6 replies 41 reposts 123 likes
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Wormhole42
@wormhole42.bsky.social
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Sometimes I feel like to reach enlightenment is to kinda give up on the 3D fun and games.
1 replies 6 reposts 8 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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I went off-roading once and had about 10 orgasms.
12 replies 27 reposts 66 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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Light my cigarette and tell me I’m smokin’.
10 replies 38 reposts 108 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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How I apologize: I’m sorry, but you’re an idiot and wrong.
10 replies 47 reposts 123 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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My 9-year-old randomly: “I just look at people and think it’s funny we all have buttholes.” Welp.
17 replies 38 reposts 207 likes
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Brick's House
@brickmahoney.bsky.social
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Haha no, fanny packs are for weenies. This is a belt bag
3 replies 9 reposts 25 likes
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Dusty B
@dustyinthewind.bsky.social
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Me: “get in loser” Also Me: “Who are you talking to?”
0 replies 11 reposts 20 likes
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Dusty B
@dustyinthewind.bsky.social
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Being thrown headfirst into a wood chipper would fix me
2 replies 11 reposts 25 likes
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
@jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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It never rains but I pour.
1 replies 20 reposts 32 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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All’s fair in love and war. TRANSLATION: Nothing’s fair in love and war.
1 replies 24 reposts 50 likes
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Christina, mother of spiders
@aikiwomannc.bsky.social
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Craft beer so hip it was strained through the used socks of Mumford and Sons.
0 replies 8 reposts 18 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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any qualified mason will tell you that the best way to create a structure that will stand the test of time has always been and will always be the liberal application of butterscotch frosting
4 replies 10 reposts 60 likes
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Dropped Mike
@rebrafsim.bsky.social
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a carnival tax? well, that’s a fair assessment
0 replies 17 reposts 42 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Been learning phrases designed to defuse tense disagreements, like “Fair point” and “Let me know when you’re all finished being wrong.”
3 replies 51 reposts 108 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Saw an AI fireworks show and a guy lost all 7 fingers on one hand.
22 replies 426 reposts 1531 likes
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Christina, mother of spiders
@aikiwomannc.bsky.social
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Me: Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light! Stylist: Sooo covering up the white hairs. Me: Yep. The dyeing of the white. Stylist: Sigh
0 replies 11 reposts 54 likes
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
@jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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This day in history. 1841. Thomas Cook organized the first package tour, Leicester to Loughborough, to see the new High Street Watering-Trough and the Lady Lough-Dog Museum of Hairpins.
0 replies 16 reposts 26 likes
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Frances Meh
@francesmeh.reviews
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as an american expat living in canada technically i don’t get july 4th off but i’m taking it anyway because i’m unemployed
6 replies 20 reposts 143 likes
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Dusty B
@dustyinthewind.bsky.social
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My therapist told me to follow more animal accounts
2 replies 7 reposts 16 likes
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Dusty B
@dustyinthewind.bsky.social
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I never cared much for those friend circles. No, it’s not just because I’m not on any of them Janice!
0 replies 3 reposts 6 likes
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
@jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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I did forget the Alamo.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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MF FairyPrincessSmoo
@smooheed.bsky.social
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13 The maximum number of times you can use the word moist during a call before they refuse to deliver pizza to your house
1 replies 22 reposts 62 likes
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Rev. Dr. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof
@2tickytacky.bsky.social
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Earlier we were arguing about which uncle liked them smothered and chunked. It was either the one who ended up in traction trying to put his pants on over his shoes or the one who accidentally walked in front of a train.
3 replies 24 reposts 33 likes
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FRONT TOWARD ENEMY
@armyvet1972.bsky.social
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OK, we get it. We’re independent. been telling us for 248 years now. quit throwing it in our faces
0 replies 5 reposts 16 likes
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Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
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I really need to learn how to drizzle.
0 replies 16 reposts 23 likes
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Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
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She was rare…like a dog that enjoyed fireworks.
1 replies 16 reposts 32 likes
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Tippi Hedren Collider
@linanneblack.bsky.social
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I still haven't found a new career, so I'm thinking about becoming a ghost who haunts a remote fire lookout tower. Part-time, though.
1 replies 8 reposts 20 likes
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Splendid Hobo
@splendidhobo.bsky.social
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"Humans share 99% of their genetic code with the chimpanzee" Yeah, but which one?
1 replies 11 reposts 33 likes
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Splendid Hobo
@splendidhobo.bsky.social
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I couldn't find the existential dread emoji so I just used the egglant
4 replies 24 reposts 51 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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men's soap? is using a forest scented soap gonna burn my tits off or what
36 replies 82 reposts 280 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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Get away from me to show me you celebrate my independence
11 replies 84 reposts 193 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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Docs ask how many concussions you had/when they happened and it's like c'mon all I know is that I got hit a lot in my memory spot
14 replies 71 reposts 182 likes
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Brosephine Wires
@joparkerbear.bsky.social
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[Evil, 25 minutes into an episode] oh btw here’s the opening credits
0 replies 7 reposts 11 likes
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Brosephine Wires
@joparkerbear.bsky.social
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Not only could I happily live at an arctic research station, that is my new life goal
5 replies 18 reposts 42 likes
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Georgia the Explorer
@georgiatheexplorer.bsky.social
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Sometimes I keep people around on my TL just so I can track their fall into madness
5 replies 11 reposts 26 likes
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Georgia the Explorer
@georgiatheexplorer.bsky.social
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Just so you know, I’ve diagnosed most of you and all I’ll say is Oh, boy
5 replies 21 reposts 54 likes
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Rachel
@slightlycaustic.bsky.social
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Oh it’s just your opinion? Sounds more like hate speech to me.
0 replies 10 reposts 25 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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The year is 2024. Nobody can afford meat. Women are only for breeding now. There’s an appeal to heaven flag at your obgyn office. A door fell off an airplane and killed your dog. Happy Independence Day
25 replies 167 reposts 620 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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everyone is fighting some kind of battle sucker punch them while they’re focused on the other battle
16 replies 126 reposts 469 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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it’s possible that i have crossed the line from cute-bitchy to bitchy-bitchy
20 replies 56 reposts 171 likes