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bacon popsicle π³@gupton68.bsky.social |
994 followers 555 following 501 posts
things can only get better
the man, the myth, the bellend
my BS bs: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaadqbbtnlfxy
my top bs: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaahguixerquo
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bacon popsicle π³
@gupton68.bsky.social
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I often stand naked in front of a full-length mirror, studying myself to better come to terms with my imperfections. Itβs not an easy thing to do though, and quite frankly I feel IKEA security could be a little more supportive.
6 replies 277 reposts 862 likes
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bacon popsicle π³
@gupton68.bsky.social
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[Scrolling through Netflix] No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No⦠*2 hours later* ...No
21 replies 85 reposts 448 likes
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bacon popsicle π³
@gupton68.bsky.social
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*buys a 3D printer* *prints a 3D printer* *returns 3D printer for a refund*
14 replies 115 reposts 387 likes
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bacon popsicle π³
@gupton68.bsky.social
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Iggy Popβs full name is Ignatius Lollipop.
8 replies 126 reposts 317 likes
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Ash
@ashhull.bsky.social
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Wore a shirt saying Just Peachy around some bad apples today.
1 replies 14 reposts 22 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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I must admit I chose not to learn how to do a lot of things I thought a robot would be doing for me by this time so thank you for the life lesson, Jetsons
4 replies 49 reposts 123 likes
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Ash
@ashhull.bsky.social
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No, no thatβs my watermelon. You get none.
1 replies 11 reposts 20 likes
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bacon popsicle π³
@gupton68.bsky.social
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Thank you Andy ππ
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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And He Joked Again
@andyjokedagain.bsky.social
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FOLLOW FUNNY FRIDAY FOLKS #6. Andy Award winners for the funniest posts I saw this week.
@frovo.bsky.social (again)
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social (again)
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
@gupton68.bsky.social
@potshopboy.bsky.social (again)
@deeks549.bsky.social (again)
@gmeposhpug.bsky.social
moreπ»
3 replies 2 reposts 9 likes
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Rachelle
@rasm69.bsky.social
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Wrapped in a gentle wind sent from a fair sky Leaves scatter about playing with my nimble feet I escape them as I move across the quiet street and continue to indulge in my blissful reverie
0 replies 7 reposts 11 likes
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Christina, mother of spiders
@aikiwomannc.bsky.social
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Watched my friend flop face first onto a motel bedspread. I had no idea she was such a risk taker.
0 replies 11 reposts 32 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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can someone help me identify this birb
17 replies 24 reposts 138 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Allβs fair in love and war. TRANSLATION: Nothingβs fair in love and war.
1 replies 24 reposts 50 likes
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Christina, mother of spiders
@aikiwomannc.bsky.social
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Craft beer so hip it was strained through the used socks of Mumford and Sons.
0 replies 8 reposts 18 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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any qualified mason will tell you that the best way to create a structure that will stand the test of time has always been and will always be the liberal application of butterscotch frosting
4 replies 10 reposts 59 likes
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bacon popsicle π³
@gupton68.bsky.social
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Iβm not a fan of body shaming but I do think itβs a shame that nobody told younger me to look after this body for today me.
0 replies 21 reposts 48 likes
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bacon popsicle π³
@gupton68.bsky.social
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me at 4 yrs old: *wants to be Batman, picks up a stick and pretends itβs a batarang* me at 54: *wants to be Batman, buys a Prius and cargo pants and pretends itβs the Batmobile and a utility belt*
1 replies 24 reposts 59 likes
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bacon popsicle π³
@gupton68.bsky.social
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I have the bladder of a much younger man. Itβs one of the more unusual trophies I kept from my days as a serial killer but it really is a guaranteed conversation starter when used as a wineskin at dinner parties.
1 replies 41 reposts 79 likes
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Marc
@runoldman.bsky.social
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People that are meant to be together will always find a way to fuck it up.
3 replies 29 reposts 55 likes
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Hunter the Bounty Dog
@bountydog.bsky.social
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Canβt. Waiting for this oatmeal to cool from lava into drywall mud.
0 replies 1 reposts 5 likes
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Sweetie Ο
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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I cleaned the wax out of my ears for you please respond
8 replies 30 reposts 54 likes
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Twin Dad
@twinsurvivalist.bsky.social
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Boom! POP! Pow! Kablooie! - 1960s Batman watching fireworks
0 replies 5 reposts 16 likes
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Dak
@dak.bsky.social
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911: whatβs your emergency Me: Iβm in bed with my girlfriend and a shirtless man has broken into the house 911: is he a threat? Me: [noticing my girlfriend looking at his abs] ya
0 replies 10 reposts 35 likes
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MF FairyPrincessSmoo
@smooheed.bsky.social
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13 The maximum number of times you can use the word moist during a call before they refuse to deliver pizza to your house
1 replies 22 reposts 62 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
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One bad asshole spoils the brunch.
4 replies 30 reposts 66 likes
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Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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If this laptop is actually the waffle you use to organize all your extra keycaps then why did the geek squad replace the motherboard in my syrup
1 replies 35 reposts 72 likes
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StefanThinks
@stefanthinks.bsky.social
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Let freedom ring. It'll go to voicemail. It's probably spam, anyway.
0 replies 26 reposts 69 likes
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Princess of Whales
@princessofwhales2.bsky.social
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My mom just told me that calculus has been canceled in her townβs high school because of Woke Howβs your day going?
10 replies 19 reposts 66 likes
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Georgia the Explorer
@georgiatheexplorer.bsky.social
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Someoneβs gonna post hog on main tonight and itβll be ALL over the Bluesky tabloids tomorrow morning
1 replies 12 reposts 31 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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Criss Angel is just David Copperfield for people who never met their father.
2 replies 33 reposts 94 likes
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Staff Chief of Joints
@etrain.bsky.social
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It's easier to delete your account than deal with how you're helplessly attracted to me. I get it everybody. I get it.
1 replies 16 reposts 33 likes
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Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
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Iβd like to pack your trunk.
2 replies 9 reposts 19 likes
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BrujoLocoβ οΈπ€πΊ
@patnspankme.bsky.social
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ah yes, of course. that was from back in my Perry Ellis era
1 replies 18 reposts 35 likes
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Sweetie Ο
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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A few days inside a lobster trap would fix me
4 replies 41 reposts 111 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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Donβt ask me for marriage advice. Iβm in the process of a divorce.
12 replies 11 reposts 61 likes
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
@jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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This day in history. 1841. Thomas Cook organized the first package tour, Leicester to Loughborough, to see the new High Street Watering-Trough and the Lady Lough-Dog Museum of Hairpins.
0 replies 16 reposts 26 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Saw an AI fireworks show and a guy lost all 7 fingers on one hand.
22 replies 426 reposts 1531 likes
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Christina, mother of spiders
@aikiwomannc.bsky.social
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Me: Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light! Stylist: Sooo covering up the white hairs. Me: Yep. The dyeing of the white. Stylist: Sigh
0 replies 11 reposts 54 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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i really hope i get the job because itβs not like i can put this thing back in my butler
2 replies 37 reposts 163 likes
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bacon popsicle π³
@gupton68.bsky.social
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My youngest just said the hamsterβs penis is smaller than her friendβs. That may be true, but I donβt think itβs fair to compare his dick to a 15 year old boyβs, and saying it right in front of the hamster is downright mean.
1 replies 29 reposts 56 likes
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bacon popsicle π³
@gupton68.bsky.social
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Well said, sir π
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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More like Inattendance Day, amirite?
1 replies 23 reposts 44 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Why yes, I am a DOG person. (Delusions Of Grandeur)
0 replies 21 reposts 44 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Sonic Youth is their childrenβs menu, right?
4 replies 46 reposts 97 likes
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Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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A tablecloth of turtles that scatter as you approach, leaving the dinnerware undisturbed. This is the shell game of the bog repertoire.
1 replies 36 reposts 55 likes
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Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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Anemone, as you know, means too many little hugs in a friendship is sneaky and carnivorous
5 replies 32 reposts 50 likes
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Wilbur72
@wilbur72.bsky.social
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This meeting could have been an email about drinking a Mikeβs Hard Lemonade in Poundtown.
0 replies 2 reposts 7 likes