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Uncle Duke@uncleduke1969.bsky.social |
3207 followers 385 following 1167 posts
Does this look infected?
Just My Nonsense:
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2cz6x3e7thlqjc5cxa2hnbsn/feed/aaab3yqtmpox2
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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"Pssst." "Shhh!" "Whatcha doing?" "Waiting." "For what?" "A cheetah." "I hear those are beautiful." "They sure are, fast too, now hush." "Can I wait with you?" "Only if you're quiet."
3 replies 25 reposts 125 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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World-renowned wildlife photographer Charles Ainsworth, seen here just moments after capturing his most famous work, βLost Camper Poops by a Stream in the Misty Morning Light.β
1 replies 9 reposts 41 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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i told mom not to vape in the bathroom
1 replies 21 reposts 124 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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βPepperidge Farm remembers.β
4 replies 20 reposts 73 likes
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bacon popsicle π¦
@gupton68.bsky.social
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me: one mixed emotions please, barkeep barkeep: I donβt know what that is me: you put all my hopes and dreams and happiness and sadness and loneliness and insecurities in the cocktail mixer and give it a good, hard shake barkeep: me: α΅Λ‘α΅α΅Λ’α΅ Κ°α΅Λ‘α΅ α΅α΅
1 replies 37 reposts 79 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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If happiness is a warm puppy, then sadness is a cold puddle of puppy pee under your bare foot on the kitchen floor.
5 replies 26 reposts 60 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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If I wipe my hands on your decorative towels I'm trying to say I believe you can become a person of substance
10 replies 67 reposts 187 likes
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Dropped Mike
@rebrafsim.bsky.social
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Iβm a big fan of friends with benefits because they have good jobs and no time to bother me
0 replies 11 reposts 27 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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I run with a rock in case I ever have to defeat someone running with scissors.
13 replies 56 reposts 176 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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I feel like a million bucks (wrinkled, stained, touched by too many germy, greedy fingers, unable to buy a decent home or retire in reasonable comfort)
1 replies 47 reposts 99 likes
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Dropped Mike
@rebrafsim.bsky.social
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nobody wants to buy a death trap because what the fuck do you feed a death once you catch it
1 replies 23 reposts 44 likes
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Ygrene βοΈ
@ygrene.bsky.social
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[arriving in hell] Satan: welco- Me: hit me with a plate of your eggs bro Satan: Me: (sprinkling motion) with the paprika
12 replies 204 reposts 971 likes
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Frovo
@frovo.bsky.social
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Teacher: remember class, there are no stupid questions Me: *raises hand* Teacher: no stupid questions i said Me: *lowers hand*
2 replies 48 reposts 183 likes
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Dropped Mike
@rebrafsim.bsky.social
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rock: oh fuck Iβm covered with paper tell my wife I love her
2 replies 41 reposts 177 likes
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Frances Meh
@francesmeh.reviews
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motherfucker this is the first photo youβve chosen? iβm calling 911.
9 replies 25 reposts 176 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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Bro, we get it, you fuck
5 replies 32 reposts 114 likes
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Sweetie Ο
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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Him: are you okay? Me, cutting my own bangs with craft scissors: yeah, why?
4 replies 37 reposts 90 likes
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Capβn Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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Who up waiting for their shirt to come out of the dryer at their senseiβs apartment
0 replies 18 reposts 31 likes
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Jake_Vig
@jakevig.bsky.social
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"Crime and Punishment" now just "Crime"
8 replies 65 reposts 294 likes
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@kattsdogma.bsky.social
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not a ringing endorsement, tbqh
10 replies 35 reposts 108 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
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I'm a radical left thug when it comes to bodily autonomy.
0 replies 14 reposts 31 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Him: The ease with which you can be bought disgusts me. Me: And right now itβs easier than ever! My prices are INSANE
2 replies 20 reposts 43 likes
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
@jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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This day in history. 458. Feast day of Anatolius of Constantinople not to be confused with Anatolius of Laodicea who has the same feast day but that's your problem.
1 replies 14 reposts 36 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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A few shots from the garden. The hummingbird moth was a rare event.
12 replies 40 reposts 186 likes
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Viktor Winetrout
@viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
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The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears welding goggles and heβs afraid of balloons
4 replies 12 reposts 65 likes
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mean things I say to myself
@meantomyself.bsky.social
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What I admire most about the owner of the orange Cybertruck is his commitment to never having sexual intercourse again
104 replies 146 reposts 1138 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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I rodent worry about it too much.
1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Viktor Winetrout
@viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
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Had to shut down my rodent removal business. No more Mr. Mice Guy.
6 replies 18 reposts 143 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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The english language really cooked with βnotwithstandingβ
17 replies 97 reposts 301 likes
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Normal Pru
@prufrockluvsong.bsky.social
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I want to see an episode of Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood where Daniel finally remembers he's an apex predator and eats every other character.
5 replies 23 reposts 63 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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βPepperidge Farm remembers.β
4 replies 20 reposts 73 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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i told mom not to vape in the bathroom
1 replies 21 reposts 124 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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i gave mine a little hat
8 replies 45 reposts 246 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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βEnjoy your βlikes,β Tina. I hope they were worth my dignity.β
3 replies 29 reposts 135 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
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no i will not βnut upβ iβve got a severe allergy which you would know if you ever listened
5 replies 25 reposts 88 likes
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andy van slyke
@im-all-id.bsky.social
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Very rude that image quality improved exponentially as I became worse looking
5 replies 83 reposts 314 likes
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π
ΏοΈrofessor Kiosk π
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
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A mood ring that reveals other people's moods
1 replies 14 reposts 40 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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When I die I don't want anyone to talk about what killed me. Please list all the incredibly stupid things that I survived
11 replies 96 reposts 284 likes
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Trish K
@tkaz99.bsky.social
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Taint got none!
16 replies 93 reposts 398 likes
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π
ΏοΈrofessor Kiosk π
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
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Blinded by science? You may be entitled to financial compensation.
1 replies 27 reposts 56 likes
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π
ΏοΈrofessor Kiosk π
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
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I want a ring that makes everyone else invisible
3 replies 24 reposts 62 likes
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Sweetie Ο
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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I fear this is the Cruel Summer Bananarama presciently warned us about
18 replies 129 reposts 412 likes
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@kattsdogma.bsky.social
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[1776] thomas jefferson: put your john hancock right here john hancock: what
4 replies 29 reposts 75 likes
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Katie Didnβt
@porkchophair.bsky.social
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No, babe. Leave the stilts on during sex.
1 replies 30 reposts 79 likes
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
@jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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This day in history. 1504. Bogdan III the One-Eyed became Voivode of Moldavia. I don't know what that is but I hope it works out for everyone.
0 replies 18 reposts 33 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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They say time heals all wounds, so Iβm feeling optimistic about my imminent decapitation.
2 replies 35 reposts 82 likes
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bacon popsicle π¦
@gupton68.bsky.social
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Thereβs nothing as sad as that hollow feeling you have when you lose a loved one, a long term relationship ends in tears, or you take the last bite of your evening meal.
2 replies 44 reposts 70 likes
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Capβn Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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Can you please stop the fireworks Iβm trying to do patriotism
3 replies 26 reposts 59 likes
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Sweetie Ο
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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depressed to discover Iβm the executive producer of my own poor life choices
4 replies 46 reposts 112 likes
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mean things I say to myself
@meantomyself.bsky.social
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Topless with overalls on would be my OnlyFans niche
8 replies 20 reposts 87 likes