Dropped Mike's avatar

Dropped Mike

@rebrafsim.bsky.social

1023 followers 222 following 959 posts

“jokes” header by Dave (Cactus)

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle's avatar Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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I learned the hard way not to take my good lute to a Renaissance fair.

5 replies 72 reposts 173 likes

Dropped Mike's avatar Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
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a carnival tax? well, that’s a fair assessment

0 replies 17 reposts 42 likes

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑's avatar 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
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Been learning phrases designed to defuse tense disagreements, like “Fair point” and “Let me know when you’re all finished being wrong.”

3 replies 51 reposts 108 likes

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑's avatar 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
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Saw an AI fireworks show and a guy lost all 7 fingers on one hand.

22 replies 426 reposts 1531 likes

Dropped Mike's avatar Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
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[first therapy session] me: *sobbing* I don’t think I can do this patient: it’ll be okay

1 replies 46 reposts 356 likes

Dropped Mike's avatar Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
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rock: oh fuck I’m covered with paper tell my wife I love her

3 replies 77 reposts 357 likes

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Tusk Jenkins 's avatar Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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Welcome to the scratch paper museum please crumple up the guest book and miss the trash can

1 replies 66 reposts 129 likes

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑's avatar 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
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One day you’re young and then suddenly you find yourself googling “restaurants near me open at 4:30pm”

11 replies 65 reposts 227 likes

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑's avatar 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
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Today’s youth would never read 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘥 but might be enticed to read a very short version called 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘥.

4 replies 33 reposts 87 likes

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle's avatar Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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This day in history. 1803. The Louisiana Purchase. Thomas Jefferson added 828,000 square miles to the USA and his daughters hid his credit cards.

0 replies 23 reposts 48 likes

Dropped Mike's avatar Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
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[first therapy session] me: *sobbing* I don’t think I can do this patient: it’ll be okay

1 replies 46 reposts 356 likes

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Reposted by Dropped Mike

Frovo's avatar Frovo @frovo.bsky.social
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Teacher: remember class, there are no stupid questions Me: *raises hand* Teacher: no stupid questions i said Me: *lowers hand*

2 replies 50 reposts 195 likes

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑's avatar 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
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Him: The ease with which you can be bought disgusts me. Me: And right now it’s easier than ever! My prices are INSANE

2 replies 22 reposts 45 likes

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Ygrene ✔️'s avatar Ygrene ✔️ @ygrene.bsky.social
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[arriving in hell] Satan: welco- Me: hit me with a plate of your eggs bro Satan: Me: (sprinkling motion) with the paprika

12 replies 211 reposts 1010 likes

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle's avatar Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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This day in history. 458. Feast day of Anatolius of Constantinople not to be confused with Anatolius of Laodicea who has the same feast day but that's your problem.

1 replies 21 reposts 50 likes

Dropped Mike's avatar Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
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me: the constitution says I have the right to assemble Ikea clerk: you have to buy it first

3 replies 46 reposts 148 likes

Dropped Mike's avatar Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
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[bar] me: can I buy you a drink? her: I have a boyfriend me: bartender, bring us two more boyfriends

3 replies 42 reposts 121 likes

Dropped Mike's avatar Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
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nobody wants to buy a death trap because what the fuck do you feed a death once you catch it

1 replies 23 reposts 44 likes

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑's avatar 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
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I feel like a million bucks (wrinkled, stained, touched by too many germy, greedy fingers, unable to buy a decent home or retire in reasonable comfort)

1 replies 47 reposts 99 likes

Dropped Mike's avatar Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
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rock: oh fuck I’m covered with paper tell my wife I love her

3 replies 77 reposts 357 likes

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑's avatar 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
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I run with a rock in case I ever have to defeat someone running with scissors.

13 replies 64 reposts 197 likes

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑's avatar 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
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Yesterday I was sad so I read some Shakespeare and today mine own heart doth torment me, fill’d as it be with most grievous sorrow.

7 replies 95 reposts 296 likes

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle's avatar Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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This day in history. 1504. Bogdan III the One-Eyed became Voivode of Moldavia. I don't know what that is but I hope it works out for everyone.

0 replies 23 reposts 38 likes

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Reposted by Dropped Mike

bacon popsicle 😳's avatar bacon popsicle 😳 @gupton68.bsky.social
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Imagine how scary it would be if birds really did appear every time you are near.

15 replies 116 reposts 271 likes

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑's avatar 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
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My time machine got stuck in reverse and now I live like there’s no tomorrow.

0 replies 59 reposts 114 likes

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle's avatar Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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This day in history. 1980. "O Canada" was proclaimed Canada's national anthem although most of us voted for "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet".

2 replies 33 reposts 75 likes

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Uncle Duke's avatar Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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"Get in!" "But-" "NOW." "Okay..." "Were you followed?" "What?" "WERE YOU FOLLOWED?" "I don't think so." "You have your passport?" "I'm not sure." "Never mind, open the glovebox." "Alright. Hey, wha-" "You know how to use that?" "Frank, what-?" "Better get used to calling me Jim."

3 replies 34 reposts 137 likes

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle's avatar Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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It's raining men because the aliens are returning the abductees in the most compelling way possible.

7 replies 90 reposts 188 likes

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑's avatar 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
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If I see you buy an umbrella when it isn’t even raining, you have your shit together in ways I can only dream of.

1 replies 25 reposts 62 likes

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle's avatar Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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This day in history. 1972. The first leap second was added to all atomic clocks giving me extra quality time to work on my LEGO Sea-Monkey City.

0 replies 22 reposts 42 likes

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