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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Ha! I say that around the house at random moments. βI want my $2!β
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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π±πππ πππππ@unfitz.bsky.social |
2091 followers 1463 following 3994 posts
Fugitive warlord. Indicted crypto kingpin. Disgraced former intern. Dry clean only.
He/him
Fitzyβs Funtastic Feed: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:eeuovmdmopwss5bsf7el3ra7/feed/aaabi4hywtg5g
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Ha! I say that around the house at random moments. βI want my $2!β
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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When I die, the first twenty people at my funeral can have a finger or toe while supplies last
8 replies 37 reposts 167 likes
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Coach Rusty
@coachrusty.bsky.social
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Nobody would have even HEARD me eating Doritos at the funeral if you guys would have just cried louder
2 replies 24 reposts 122 likes
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Jake_Vig
@jakevig.bsky.social
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No, Hall and Oates, YOUR kiss is on MY list
0 replies 9 reposts 27 likes
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Capβn Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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At the airport slipping hand-poured 3oz bottles of unused conditioner into strangersβ bags
1 replies 14 reposts 28 likes
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Frances Meh
@francesmeh.reviews
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i know this is a sensitive topic for many americans but the term βyanksβ is not explicitly pejorative. except when i use it.
3 replies 13 reposts 29 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Iβm blushing over here - thank you!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Favskeet
@favskeet.bsky.social
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This post by @unfitz.bsky.social was so good, @nicebutnot.bsky.social thought everyone should know! Go show them and their post some love!
1 replies 1 reposts 3 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Gosh β thank you!
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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First of all, Iβm a fucking delight.
6 replies 33 reposts 73 likes
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MyNameIsJeffππ»ββοΈ
@lacroixboi.lol
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Handing my kid a juice pouch and pants that finish before the ankle: Hereβs your Capri-Sun and your capris, son.
3 replies 23 reposts 59 likes
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Ash
@ashhull.bsky.social
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I control my stress by saying fuck 3 times louder and louder.
4 replies 12 reposts 28 likes
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chris.
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
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Working on loosening my teeth in my gums so it's a roller derby every time I go to chew.
1 replies 11 reposts 17 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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people get mad when you repost too much people get mad when you donβt repost enough people get mad when you {insert whatever here} but i do what i want idgaf
7 replies 29 reposts 90 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Yep. Always a favorite.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
@jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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Where's this memory loss they promised me?
2 replies 14 reposts 31 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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π Donβt leave anything to chance
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Always order βtuna fishβ instead of just βtunaβ or you might end up with the decidedly less appetizing tuna bird.
6 replies 17 reposts 37 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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*covered in silly string* If anything I feel more serious now
2 replies 36 reposts 83 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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Get away from me to show me you celebrate my independence
11 replies 56 reposts 136 likes
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mean things I say to myself
@meantomyself.bsky.social
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Fellas, this is the only woman who thinks a Cybertruck looks good
26 replies 62 reposts 357 likes
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Marjorie James Keenan
@unenthusiast.com
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Butter-up puckercup
0 replies 4 reposts 5 likes
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Marjorie James Keenan
@unenthusiast.com
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Just like Ma Bell, I got that ill-maintained infrastructure
1 replies 7 reposts 20 likes
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Salty MacTavish
@saltymactavish.bsky.social
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Sorry Iβm late I had to weed the asparagus
4 replies 15 reposts 36 likes
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Frovo
@frovo.bsky.social
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*approaches woman* hey girl are you a haiku- "i have a boyfriend"
2 replies 23 reposts 92 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
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it is my constitutional right to loudly deep throat a hot dog at your family gathering
19 replies 31 reposts 157 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Thank you! Iβm working on solutions to many other imaginary problems as we speak.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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You never know.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Hi ππΌ
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Interesting. Before yesterday I hadnβt seen a hummingbird moth since summer 2022 but we get a great variety of butterflies. Wonder what makes the difference?
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Raquel Squelch
@raquelsquelch.bsky.social
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bench made heart set up by trained hand outer contours traced her ribs garland inside strips of tiger moulded to a shape that fits you just so a neck elongated tight in the mortise to open her up play her often stress her body when she really feels you'll know by a quiver and the screech of her bow
3 replies 14 reposts 26 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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HILF (homie Iβd like to flatter)
2 replies 47 reposts 108 likes
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Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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Every time I say the "ah well" my face looks gived up but my mind is an old fashioned water hole dentist checking pretty far down for lucky teeth
0 replies 22 reposts 31 likes
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Matβ’οΈ
@futurekid.bsky.social
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If I ran Bluesky I'd get rid of likes Each post would be categorized by an algorithm as "not really all that Raven," "somewhat Raven," or "so Raven"
2 replies 9 reposts 22 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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Docs ask how many concussions you had/when they happened and it's like c'mon all I know is that I got hit a lot in my memory spot
12 replies 48 reposts 123 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Yes. Even more sad.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
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unhinging my jaw to eat a big sandwich (flirting)
12 replies 66 reposts 318 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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Iβm not saying I expect people to read my mind but
13 replies 35 reposts 79 likes
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Sweetie Ο
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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Normalize taking an attack posture and biting when necessary
4 replies 26 reposts 69 likes
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π
ΏοΈrofessor Kiosk π
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
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we say large naturals, but the proper term is jackfruit
2 replies 11 reposts 30 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Thank you, J
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Sweetie Ο
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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Him: are you okay? Me, cutting my own bangs with craft scissors: yeah, why?
4 replies 38 reposts 93 likes
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@kattsdogma.bsky.social
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my trivia teamβs inability to come up with the capital of switzerland caused me to do a slow bern . folks,,
0 replies 12 reposts 31 likes
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Inspector Ratchet
@1nspectratchet.bsky.social
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My fellow Americans: Don't forget to leave hotdogs on your porch for Jesus tonight πΊπ²ππ
17 replies 98 reposts 452 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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World-renowned wildlife photographer Charles Ainsworth, seen here just moments after capturing his most famous work, βLost Camper Poops by a Stream in the Misty Morning Light.β
1 replies 9 reposts 42 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Thank you!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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π₯°
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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π
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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bacon popsicle π¦
@gupton68.bsky.social
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me at 4 yrs old: *wants to be Batman, picks up a stick and pretends itβs a batarang* me at 54: *wants to be Batman, buys a Prius and cargo pants and pretends itβs the Batmobile and a utility belt*
0 replies 20 reposts 43 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Never heard this one! These guys are my favorite nerds in all of music.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes