I’m not sure why I’m coping better with having another GOP gun pointed at our heads this time.
Maybe it’s because I’ve concluded the only two real choices are confidently refusing to let them get me, vs walking into the sea.
Maybe it’s because I stopped drinking Monster.
Hard to say.
The parallels are 1860, 1940, and most of all, what looked possible before vs. after.
This is not in any way to minimize the awful things that did happen, but to view the future through the lens of prior turning points.
As long as good outcomes are possible, you have to keep fighting.
I feel differently this time, too. Maybe less panicking and more planning? Maybe it’s just that I’m doing a lot more walking to put my anxiety somewhere? Not sure.
I watch this self-inflicted vacuum of fact-free paranoia, delusion, and hate with a mixture of fascination and revulsion. La folie de millions.
That they’d kill for it is straight-up lunatic.
For me, at least, it's a deep understanding that things will not get better in my lifetime. I might as well live stubbornly and loudly so maybe my niece, nephew, and all the baby queers can see and live stubbornly and loudly too.
Honestly? Sucralose cranks my anxiety way the heck up. If that artificial sweetener does the same thing to you then removing it removes a chemical that's proven to be rocket fuel for anxiety.
I think my optimism has faded a lot, but my pessimism and spite have fired up. Like, there's not the same sense of possibilities being taken away from us, they already proved they can do that.