(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar

(still) Not Owen Meany

@notowenmeany.bsky.social

205 followers 247 following 142 posts

80% faux snobbery, 20% actual snobbery. Even I'm not sure which is which. He/Him.

(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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A top five fear is that, in a mass hostage situation, I'd be the first person who has to pee.

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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If there are historians in the future, this will be known as "The Banana Republic" Supreme Court term. - Legalize bribery - Eliminate regulations so everything becomes a scam - Make the president an untouchable strongman

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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$3500 (and counting!) of alright!

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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This is amazing!

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SpoolandThimble 's avatar SpoolandThimble @tanyaduncan.bsky.social
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Speaking of imposter syndrome, I misunderstood what was being said and almost begged them to pull my Sweet Dreams quilt.
SO. Show me the stuff you decided was too bad to submit! 💕

www.32auctions.com/organization...

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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As someone who just finished a Two Beer Lunch, I can see why the Three Martini Lunch was so popular. We need to bring it back.

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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I've been Yankeeing my Doodle all morning. I should get something done. Nah.

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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I was watching a Japanese language film with subtitles. I was so high I thought I had learned Japanese through subtitles but no, they'd switched to English. Next time!

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Yesterday, I bought gin and tonic. Today I realized I was extremely optimistic.

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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No, I am *not* above stealing a 50 year old recurring Johnny Carson bit.

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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Just crossed over Johnson Wash so I got out of my car, washed my johnson, got back in my car and proceeded.

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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A measurable, but not lethal amount!

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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My most impressive artistic achievement is my 80s Pandora station. Based on The Police, The Cure, Depeche Mode, and Peter Gabriel, I spent a year aggressively thumbing it. It's perfect. It'll throw in a Bon Jovi or Pet Shop Boys or Men at Work even though I don't know I need it.

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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The airport had a Garrett Popcorn Shop so instinctively bought some before realizing I was passing through DFW. Good news, it's 85% as good as what you get in Chicago.

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Ennui Doofen's avatar Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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why can't my doctor just auto-tune me

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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We're visiting @finchinabq.bsky.social and Higgins the dog has really come into his own! He's so much happier and settled than a year ago. And ADORABLE.

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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I've never had a travel stress dream...before last night. I showed up at TSA with two (bad) photocopies of my license. The fact that I had two did *not* help. Full disclosure: I'm never stressed by travel.

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cari's avatar cari @cari.bsky.social
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Guy designing the Nostromo: However many chains you think we need on the ship, double--then triple that number and that's what we'll put in the ship's chain room. Assistant: Yes, sir. And the chains are dry, of course? Designer: You're fired

21 replies 437 reposts 1668 likes

(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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I knew I'd have a "bad" email in my inbox this morning, and that it would need a reply. As soon as I had a cup of coffee, I read it and immediately sent my response. Eight hours later and it still feels like I did something illegal!

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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Jazz Chisholm is a good name for a baseball player. Jizz Chasholm is a great name for a porn star.

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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I recently saw UNSTOPPABLE (a *great* "competence" movie triggered by utter incompetence) which led me to a Tony Scott I've never seen until rn: DEJA VU. Thirty minutes in and it's another competence movie with multiple competent people (and some idiots, like irl).

1 replies 1 reposts 3 likes

(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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It's called a "flight" and, yes, I did charge myself $19 for it.

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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Welp, my PT added wall squats. Time for a new PT!

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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I couldn't decide which ice cream I wanted so I have one little bowl of each.

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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Snupdate® Surprise: Thanks Wegmans for putting this impulse buy in the check-out lane. While I don't generally believe in "too much of a good thing," this might be it. Or it's not as great as it should be because of sub-par caramel. That's more likely. Only 4.5/5. (Reese's are a 5)

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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With your support, I will accomplish this.

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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Just dropped J at the airport for a week (what can I say, she loves airports). Do you guys dare me to watch 40 movies?

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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The worst part of watching THE TERMINATOR with youths is having to explain the multi-level department store where Reese gets his clothes.

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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May indeed. It's when all the cool kids go. Well, before May 15 that is.

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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I picked JMU because the cool kids were. I picked Grand Canyon because I'm finally going to see it in May. That's the extent of my basketball acumen. 🏀

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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No need to worry about it. It's just a fact!

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sliceofhell.com's avatar sliceofhell.com @sliceofhell.bsky.social
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I paid this lady good money to hit my nuts with a spatula for an hour and a half and she’s already checking her watch

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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Every time I bite into a baby carrot, I remember reading that I'm exerting the same bite force required to bite off a human finger. And now you can think about it too! You're welcome.

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David_j_roth's avatar David_j_roth @davidjroth.bsky.social
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I love to walk into my home late at night, hear my nemesis say my name in an even voice, and look over to see him calmly sitting in shadow in my living room.

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(still) Not Owen Meany's avatar (still) Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social
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We're finally expecting some snow and I swear if I say, "Get ready for 3-5 inches tonight, bb!" to J one more time she'll throw me out.

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