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jordan🌈🍉
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
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someone on tiktok: chappell roan audio only has like 6400 uses me: [using chappell roan sound for 6399th time] what
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Ennui Doofen@ennuidoofen.bsky.social |
3590 followers 913 following 9861 posts
I yell not from the volume
required by great distance
but from happy excitement
more doof ⤵️
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yawj662o7qxd5xyt7/feed/aaabi4esw755k
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jordan🌈🍉
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
[ View ] |
someone on tiktok: chappell roan audio only has like 6400 uses me: [using chappell roan sound for 6399th time] what
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Used Robot Salesman
@urs-annex.bsky.social
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😀🤖💕
0 replies 1 reposts 5 likes
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Used Robot Salesman
@urs-annex.bsky.social
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Greg the Goat came up in conversation today. He used to inhabit my cube a ways back. I gave him away as a parting gift to a good co-worker. Last time I asked about him, old co-worker said, "I got him a mug!" and sent this picture.
1 replies 7 reposts 26 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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😍 I'm in!
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I must admit I chose not to learn how to do a lot of things I thought a robot would be doing for me by this time so thank you for the life lesson, Jetsons
4 replies 49 reposts 122 likes
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Used Robot Salesman
@urs-annex.bsky.social
[ View ] |
🤖😀👋
1 replies 1 reposts 3 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I could use your help 😍
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Ygrene ✔️
@ygrene.bsky.social
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a good first date idea is the Lowe’s garden department so you can walk by the bags of mulch just to see if your date gives them a couple hearty pats
4 replies 14 reposts 66 likes
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Ygrene ✔️
@ygrene.bsky.social
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there should be a law that dentists have to disclose if they are that one dentist that disagrees with nine other dentists
3 replies 33 reposts 174 likes
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@kattsdogma.bsky.social
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me: we need to talk. im not sure how to frame this… my boss @ the art gallery: what
1 replies 11 reposts 25 likes
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Woodrow Peel 🆗🆒
@woodyluvscoffee.bsky.social
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My crow brought back the shiny pinky ring of a mobster and now we’re on the run.
2 replies 11 reposts 46 likes
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Wilbur72
@wilbur72.bsky.social
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A “yankee” is just like a “quickie” but you do it yourself.
2 replies 11 reposts 32 likes
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Splendid Hobo
@splendidhobo.bsky.social
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Time flies They're fast as fuck
0 replies 7 reposts 20 likes
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Splendid Hobo
@splendidhobo.bsky.social
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I like to fill in the gaps here with what I call grout skeets
2 replies 11 reposts 33 likes
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Used Robot Salesman
@urs-annex.bsky.social
[ View ] |
*click and now it's time for another exciting episode of... Sqweek-End Patrol 🚨🐭🚨
2 replies 3 reposts 6 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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When I die, I’d like my bones to be played like a xylophone by a giant purple gorilla
7 replies 35 reposts 85 likes
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connectpoliticditto.
@cpoliticditto.bsky.social
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I don’t know all the words to any song, but I do know 35 percent of the words to many songs
4 replies 11 reposts 52 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
[ View ] |
who up blurting “wait what are we talking about again” in the middle of a conversation?
4 replies 24 reposts 57 likes
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Tippi Hedren Collider
@linanneblack.bsky.social
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After a month of socialising, I like to think that on the nights I can’t go outside, the fireflies who come right up to blink at my windows are saying good evening.
1 replies 8 reposts 19 likes
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Chestbursty
@chestrovert.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Remaking every John Cusack movie with present-day Joan Cusack earnestly playing his role
2 replies 7 reposts 22 likes
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Chestbursty
@chestrovert.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Absolutely nothing to add to the discourse and feeling pretty joyful about it
0 replies 12 reposts 22 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
🩷
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Favskeet
@favskeet.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This post by @unenthusiast.com was so good, @ennuidoofen.bsky.social thought everyone should know! Go show them and their post some love!
1 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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Carl Marx
@ishigh.lol
[ View ] |
Heavens to mergatroid
1 replies 1 reposts 5 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I must admit I chose not to learn how to do a lot of things I thought a robot would be doing for me by this time so thank you for the life lesson, Jetsons
4 replies 49 reposts 122 likes
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Jerry
@allhailjerry.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Requiem For A Dream… On Ice
9 replies 17 reposts 89 likes
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rifka the unhinged fat activist
@rifka.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Caillou was on for 46 years but the first and last joke referencing it were told 13 seconds apart
0 replies 2 reposts 3 likes
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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺
@patnspankme.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I was masturbating earlier & all I can say is wow did a few of you get it
8 replies 16 reposts 42 likes
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BAJA BLAST BLAINE
@codenamecatbird.bsky.social
[ View ] |
a label on my account that's just a clown face emoji
1 replies 7 reposts 18 likes
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Pretty Good Mike
@prettygoodmike.bsky.social
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me after an edible and three vape hits
3 replies 11 reposts 51 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Marjorie James Keenan
@unenthusiast.com
[ View ] |
I do not know what is wrong with you but it is very familiar with what is wrong with me (mimics mime-in-mirror routine)
1 replies 6 reposts 11 likes
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Marjorie James Keenan
@unenthusiast.com
[ View ] |
when there's nothing I can do, I smile ʷᶦᵈᵉ
1 replies 2 reposts 3 likes
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Dan Cerinthedark
@etbeeegood.bsky.social
[ View ] |
funnest death would be Battered by Boobs
2 replies 3 reposts 12 likes
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Frovo
@frovo.bsky.social
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[first day as a librarian] Customer: where are the do-it-yourself books Me: i’m pretty sure we just have books that are made already
0 replies 16 reposts 87 likes
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Xena: Warrior Princess
@prof-hinkley.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Someone get the commissioner on the phone, I have some ideas I want to discuss
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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Frances Meh
@francesmeh.reviews
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doing the fairuza balk speech from almost famous about loving some silly little piece of music so much it hurts, but about my fav flops
1 replies 5 reposts 20 likes
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Frances Meh
@francesmeh.reviews
[ View ] |
sometimes i see someone make a joke i thought about but decided not to post and oooohhh mamma do i ever silently judge them for it
1 replies 11 reposts 30 likes
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bacon popsicle 😳
@gupton68.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I’m not a fan of body shaming but I do think it’s a shame that nobody told younger me to look after this body for today me.
0 replies 21 reposts 48 likes
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Mary Gillis
@marygillis.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Oh yeah, could someone with poster's madness do this? *posts so madly the site crashes*
0 replies 2 reposts 18 likes
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Mat™️
@futurekid.bsky.social
[ View ] |
If I ran Bluesky I'd get rid of likes Each post would be categorized by an algorithm as "not really all that Raven," "somewhat Raven," or "so Raven"
1 replies 13 reposts 38 likes
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chris.
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
[ View ] |
You can have high tea with the princes and queens or you can have low tea with the rats and the gnats, these are your only two choices.
2 replies 22 reposts 44 likes
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Elissa
@tomorrowx3.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I’m really good at tiny details and abstract ideas. All that middle shit is like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but he’s crying.
0 replies 2 reposts 10 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
[ View ] |
raise your hand if you’ve accidentally joined a polycule while checking out at Trader Joe’s
9 replies 30 reposts 90 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Ran out of shampoo so I washed my hair with Ranch dressing and now these seagulls are following me around like I’m the most discount Snow White ever.
9 replies 46 reposts 107 likes
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batkaren
@batkaren.bsky.social
[ View ] |
‘Dark and brooding, Heathcliff stared across the misty moors and muttered, “I hate Mondays, but damn I love lasagna.”’ Emily crumpled up the paper. No. Something just wasn’t working.
5 replies 20 reposts 76 likes
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jon rosenberg
@jonrosenberg.bsky.social
[ View ] |
One thing that you should know about me is that I regret everything I've ever said or done, to people, or even near them. I'm working on it
2 replies 13 reposts 68 likes
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Gef the Toking Mongoose
@geftokingmongoose.bsky.social
[ View ] |
1 replies 11 reposts 60 likes
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James
@tarnation.bsky.social
[ View ] |
If I was an archeologist I’d change my name to Indiana Bones
1 replies 10 reposts 34 likes
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Ashley C. Ford
@smashfizzle.bsky.social
[ View ] |
My husband is on Day 8 of COVID isolation in his office, and in an effort to find him an entertaining activity, I slipped him one of my Golden Girls coloring books and some colored pencils. He’s been enraptured for like three hours.
11 replies 11 reposts 326 likes