Simon Ellis's avatar

Simon Ellis

@simonjellis.bsky.social

133 followers 242 following 525 posts

Trying to rebuild my echo chamber. If you know me follow me, if you don’t know me follow me. Also can we try and not let the tosspots of the world take over this social media platform.

Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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Same here sorry 😔

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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I hope you both can have as great a time as you can.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Reposted by Simon Ellis

Santiago Jones's avatar Santiago Jones @santiagojones.bsky.social
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I’m going to the one place I can’t hear Sweet Fucking Caroline.

2 replies 8 reposts 45 likes

Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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Well in the words of the greatest robot ever:

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Alice Fraser's avatar Alice Fraser @alicefraser.bsky.social
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Let’s reframe taxes as a monthly subscription service to public utilities so that tech bros will get behind the idea.

11 replies 104 reposts 304 likes

Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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For one moment I thought “Bloody Nora there’s a commitment to Bluesky, a wireless router in the bathroom” then I zoomed in and saw it was an extractor fan. As you were.

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Jill Weinberger's avatar Jill Weinberger @jillybobww.bsky.social
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It's important to note that in France, yes, a fascist majority was prevented, but they still doubled their presence in parliament. The fascists didn't stay home. They went & voted. It's just that enough decent people showed up to beat them back to a significant degree (& make them cry). SHOW UP.

7 replies 170 reposts 447 likes

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Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *stops for breath* Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

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Pru Madeley 's avatar Pru Madeley @prum.bsky.social
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Dear British media, you need to understand that Farage is not just a pantomime villain who is good for your ratings. He is a very dangerous, man. Stop giving him disproportionate airtime to the Greens.

3 replies 47 reposts 103 likes

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Adam Sharp's avatar Adam Sharp @adamcsharp.bsky.social
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A list of eight cute animal rhymes to say farewell... 8. In a while, crocodile 7. Toodle-oo, kangaroo 6. Ciao for now, Jersey cow 5. Why you still here, white-tailed deer 4. Just piss off, luna moth 3. Go to hell, red gazelle 2. Kiss my hole, woodland vole 1. Off you fuck, crested duck

29 replies 166 reposts 591 likes

Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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Yeah I think back to some of my stupider moments and wonder how I survived.

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Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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Also it's a scruffy pupper. It's a scruffy pupper in a pocket!

0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

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waltydunlop's avatar waltydunlop @waltydunlop.bsky.social
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People often ask me - "have you got that picture of Cary Grant in uniform with a puppy poking out of the pocket?" Yes, they do. They rush up to me in the streets, it's true. Well, yes. Yes, I do. And here it is.

7 replies 79 reposts 326 likes

Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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3) Dragged by our pet Alsatian scrapping open my kneecap when stupidly convincing my dad to let me hold the lead (again 5 years old). 4) Climbing over a fence of a canal when 11 and slipped and impaled myself on an iron railing

1 replies 1 reposts 4 likes

Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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If we're doing this then (rolls up sleeves)..... 1) Smashed in the mouth by a see saw when 3 years old (I got off when my friend was still on), blood and teeth everywhere 2) Roller-skated into a brick wall face first when 5 years old (first and last time on Roller Skates).

0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes

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Learning Laser's avatar Learning Laser @learninglaser.bsky.social
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People complained that Chengdu zoo was letting their clouded leopard get fat, their expert explained "This cat is like thirty years old, that's twice as old clouded leopards GET, and he's just had major surgery. Making him lose weight would do WAY more harm, just let him have this."

11 replies 102 reposts 502 likes

Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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Nooooo she’s ruined politics, don’t let her near Eurotrash.

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Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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No but I’m pretty sure I can get you a space hopper* *Not sure, no chance at all.

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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Do you think it’s possible he’s stealing food from the local shop ala that Seagull at the Co Operative?

2 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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So we had a neighbourhood cat called ziggy that used to do that but he’d wait until the front door was open, dive in, find the cat food bowl and gourge himself until he was removed.

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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It will take time months / years. It’s not a sudden fix it gets easier with medication and counselling but it will take time. The important part is that he is getting help.

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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She turned around and they were all wearing eyepatches.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Neil Gaiman 's avatar Neil Gaiman @neilhimself.neilgaiman.com
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Today I saw what I suspect to be my first Spectrum Pursuit Vehicle in the wilds of Woodstock. Now keeping a weather eye out for Mysterons.

119 replies 79 reposts 1276 likes

Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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*jots down the Bernard Breslaw quote for next work meeting*

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Paul Frazee's avatar Paul Frazee @pfrazee.com
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openssh a little *too* open

11 replies 11 reposts 132 likes

Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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Yes for us living at the back at ash ranges is interesting when you get woken up on a peaceful Sunday morning to distant gunfire.

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Philippe Auclair's avatar Philippe Auclair @philippeauclair.bsky.social
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As Led By Donkeys haven't opened an account (yet) here, here is their last offering on "the other place". Beautiful.

5 replies 37 reposts 120 likes

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Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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Come on be serious, there's too many Tesco Extras as there is.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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All that space and no bidet or walk in steam room.

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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Try increasing the liquid content and maybe a lower temperature. I look forward to your research paper / results good sir.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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Well at least it’s only my imagination.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Simon Ellis's avatar Simon Ellis @simonjellis.bsky.social
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OK I'll give it a try. I'm living in Clacton and......OH CHRIST IT'S FROG FACED FARAGE COMING TO TALK TO ME. RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY!!!!! Nope sorry it get's too awful too quickly.

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Coach Rusty's avatar Coach Rusty @coachrusty.bsky.social
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Me: this is my screenplay about a hard-partying, egg-laying mammal that goes to college and joins a fraternity. It's called DUCKBILL FRATYPUS Movie producer: you just saved Hollywood

4 replies 30 reposts 89 likes