A Random Brandon

@brandomonium.bsky.social

294 followers 248 following 670 posts

That one dude that says things and stuff

My shtuff bsky.app/profile/did:plc:f3isqq37mblskjkdl5csji66/feed/aaab5hro4xqjs

Reposted by A Random Brandon

Phi @phi.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 14:58 UTC

Sorry I'm late, the groove got me.

0 replies 8 reposts 21 likes

A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 16:57 UTC

I am definitely a

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

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regular meghan 🫧 나영지 🍉 @ruemcclammyhand.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 16:27 UTC

everybody look at sebastian!!

7 replies 14 reposts 124 likes

A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 11:05 UTC

*cracks knuckles* *cracks neck* *cracks balls*

0 replies 4 reposts 4 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 19:04 UTC

i had to quit my street gang because grandma paddled me for putting graffiti tags on the sidewalk

6 replies 51 reposts 136 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 14:58 UTC

i’m sorry but i can’t come to work today it’s too inconvenient

6 replies 74 reposts 246 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 15:18 UTC

Don’t hesitate to reach out? And expose the vulnerable part of my wrist?

5 replies 52 reposts 148 likes

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Coach Rusty @coachrusty.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 12:19 UTC

He died as he lived, face down on a treadmill with everyone assuming that was part of his exercise routine

2 replies 44 reposts 110 likes

A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 21:51 UTC

I’m… I’m so proud of you right now 🥹

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 21:44 UTC

introducing Wyatt Chirp

49 replies 286 reposts 1544 likes

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thee michael whiteshoes @michaelwhiteshoes.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 20:37 UTC

it's currently 89° but feels like 99°...so, the perfect time for my fucked up maze of a brain to give me a panic attack

2 replies 2 reposts 19 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 05:13 UTC

when i become president i will be a casual user of nukes to solve minor inconveniences

11 replies 51 reposts 170 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 15:17 UTC

They should make toddlers with speeds other than full blast and off

5 replies 63 reposts 166 likes

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 16:29 UTC

come and rest thy weary soul upon the soft hug of my double chin

5 replies 38 reposts 96 likes

A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 15:31 UTC

My social media hierarchy of needs

0 replies 8 reposts 25 likes

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 21:17 UTC

going down the Chinese restaurant menu saying "WOULD" at all the photos

5 replies 26 reposts 89 likes

A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 16:38 UTC

😍

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 20:22 UTC

i’m sorry sir but i have no cash do you accept GoatCoin?

32 replies 155 reposts 974 likes

Reposted by A Random Brandon

jeeyon shim 심지연 @jeeyon.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 10:02 UTC

can i offer you a tortoise in this trying time

2 replies 6 reposts 44 likes

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 12:09 UTC

I try to tell muddy Arlo to stay off the furniture but he hits me with the care bear stare

32 replies 59 reposts 383 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 12:07 UTC

call and check on your mom

11 replies 72 reposts 255 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 20, 2024 at 21:42 UTC

ACAB = A Cute Ass Bunny

20 replies 58 reposts 243 likes

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 18, 2024 at 19:17 UTC

i matched your freak, please respond

9 replies 46 reposts 143 likes

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 18, 2024 at 01:12 UTC

it's always "who let the dogs out?" never "how are all the dogs doing?" and "do they have a source for fresh drinking water?"

9 replies 45 reposts 193 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 17, 2024 at 22:42 UTC

can i come over and stare at you like this

26 replies 106 reposts 651 likes

A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 17, 2024 at 20:09 UTC

Nice jortoise

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 23:44 UTC

And the boots with the fur the fur

9 replies 31 reposts 107 likes

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 17, 2024 at 20:08 UTC

The Boys Are Back in Town is sooo Paul Revere coded

9 replies 31 reposts 151 likes

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Phi @phi.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 16:20 UTC

Happy Father's Day to all those childless single fathers out there. You are special. Xx

0 replies 3 reposts 7 likes

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Phi @phi.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 11:24 UTC

After PRIDE comes the FALL -ᵢₙ𝓰 ᵢₙ ₗₒᵥₑ 𝓌ᵢₜₕ ᵧₒᵤ

1 replies 2 reposts 6 likes

A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 17:59 UTC

You’re the step that dadded up

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 17:08 UTC

i’m not the stepdad, not the dad that stepped up, but a secret third thing

14 replies 36 reposts 150 likes

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jeeyon shim 심지연 @jeeyon.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 01:04 UTC

throwback to that time i tried to get onion to stop bothering me when i'm working by making him his own "laptop" (it didn't work)

12 replies 27 reposts 176 likes

A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 18:32 UTC

I could post hog on the tl and nobody would notice

0 replies 4 reposts 5 likes

A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 17:26 UTC

I’m waiting for the cicadas that only emerge every 17 Toyotathons

0 replies 3 reposts 11 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 13:25 UTC

i’m the second most fuckable person in the rite aid soda aisle

15 replies 57 reposts 172 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 11:50 UTC

Go eat a bag of…

8 replies 31 reposts 128 likes

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Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 11:01 UTC

In unison: "thank u McAfee"

6 replies 14 reposts 84 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 14, 2024 at 17:55 UTC

This is recycled from my old account please clap

3 replies 16 reposts 78 likes

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Phi @phi.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 14, 2024 at 13:43 UTC

I'd been raining all June and I'm ready to renounce my citizenship

0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 14, 2024 at 13:01 UTC

I’ll have the number three and make it SNAPPY

17 replies 61 reposts 410 likes

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 13, 2024 at 20:39 UTC

Careful in that rockin' chair, honey, ya hear? You'll relax so hard ya end up in that ol' cow pasture down the holler, I tell you whut

6 replies 63 reposts 142 likes

A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 14, 2024 at 02:59 UTC

*eats a spoonful of Tang powder without breaking eye contact*

0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 14, 2024 at 02:27 UTC

You ain’t hard enough to make your mimosas with Tang bitch

11 replies 56 reposts 129 likes

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 13, 2024 at 17:54 UTC

come gather ‘round Auntie D and i’ll tell you about a dark time many years ago when McDonald’s breakfast ended at 10am

5 replies 16 reposts 79 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 12, 2024 at 14:15 UTC

The vibe I bring to your party

8 replies 55 reposts 242 likes

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 11, 2024 at 13:09 UTC

depression stole my dom energy but i'm reclaiming it 😎 if you're in line to get slapped by me, STAY IN LINE

11 replies 28 reposts 92 likes

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 11, 2024 at 13:30 UTC

okay i'll bite. what is "empathy"?

24 replies 31 reposts 142 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 11, 2024 at 11:59 UTC

i have joined a CULT

17 replies 58 reposts 267 likes

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Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 11, 2024 at 15:23 UTC

One day you’re slaying at open mic night and the next you’re selling feet pics on the internet but that’s showbiz baby

5 replies 41 reposts 118 likes