Cosmos Lionheart

little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 18:32 UTC

Your hot dog eating friends won’t see your hot dog jokes but your friends who are chained in the darkness, writhing, waiting to be unleashed will

0 replies 7 reposts 31 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 18:42 UTC

yeah I dunno seems kinda fucked up to celebrate the birth of an evil empire but enjoy your grilled meat tubes or whatever I guess

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 13:55 UTC

I have been feeling like I've got an overabundance of black and yellow bile with not enough phlegm for a lil bit now

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 13:48 UTC

Pretty sure I have scarlet fever and whooping cough now Also, the wound from this stabbin has been leaking a pus most evil and foul, I think that little shit cursed me??

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 13:43 UTC

Trying to single out the ones with rickets, but they're all still crafty buggers

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 00:36 UTC

love to eat my yum nums

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 18:00 UTC

I tried to kill a victorian child with a modern thing but they just chugged a pint of cheap gin stabbed me and scampered up a chimney

5 replies 63 reposts 373 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 17:56 UTC

Did you even consider that I'm on that fuckshit? Can you even comprehend how I'm kinda nasty with it?

0 replies 1 reposts 10 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 13:35 UTC

*pounds table, stomps feet* FRESH HORRORS!! FRESH HORRORS!! FRESH HORRORS!! FRESH HORRORS!! FRESH HORRORS!!

0 replies 0 reposts 9 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 13:14 UTC

Can't blame 'em, I still won't interact with fertile crescents

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 06:12 UTC

People used to have to deal with the same horrors for weeks or months at a time Very rarely will you ever catch a stale horror anymore New horror every day is the new norm now

0 replies 2 reposts 16 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 06:10 UTC

Honestly I'm starting to look forward to the fresh horrors that await us every agonizingly new day of this hellscape

0 replies 2 reposts 13 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 02:34 UTC

Therapist: .... Me: *raises eyebrow* Therapist: ....So when you say..."Jorkin it goofy style," do you mean masturbating with your off hand or pleasing yourself like the cartoon dog? Me: Yes

0 replies 0 reposts 8 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 02:16 UTC

It hasn't really worked since the 90's but I'm pretty sure that this time it will 🤞

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 02:13 UTC

got the river belly rumblies for vengeance

0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 02:12 UTC

I'll just stick with the blood sacrifices

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 01:26 UTC

the crew goes crazy for full on penetration

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 01:24 UTC

Humanity really took a turn towards the shit when the giant predators were gone

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 00:14 UTC

The most helpful thing Carville could do would be to slowly sink into the murky depths of the swamp and be consumed by gators

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 00:00 UTC

Offering up another blood sacrifice to the 10 mythical moderate undecided white men of Ohio in the hopes that I can juice some more favorability outta these polls

1 replies 1 reposts 14 likes