jeremy kaplowitz's avatar

jeremy kaplowitz

@jeremykaplowitz.com

4553 followers 288 following 1194 posts

official mayor of new york city (aka "the big apple")

Reposted by jeremy kaplowitz

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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i assume whenever someone blocks me its an accident and they meant to turn on notifications for my posts

2 replies 0 reposts 31 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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don't care, learn to podcast

1 replies 0 reposts 51 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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with the new Supreme Court ruling, there is absolutely nothing stopping Joe Biden from declaring "this is an official act" and doing a kickflip down the White House steps

0 replies 4 reposts 42 likes

Reposted by jeremy kaplowitz

Josh Gondelman's avatar Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman.bsky.social
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Such a fun show!!! (Also I am a tender 39 years old!)

0 replies 2 reposts 31 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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my parents cannot stop telling people to watch my cartoon Hamilton Factory

2 replies 0 reposts 21 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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idk what i did but this image seems to now be gone from the site lol

1 replies 3 reposts 54 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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i'm no nate silver, so can someone tell me if it's considered bad that every prominent democrat right now is like "look sometimes doctors declare you legally dead for four minutes on live tv during a debate. that being said,"

2 replies 1 reposts 42 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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the far right and the far left want Joe Biden to be "young" and "hot" 🙄 share this post if you would fuck Joe Biden no matter what!

1 replies 19 reposts 149 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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choose your fighter

0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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not the way that Dr D likes em!

1 replies 0 reposts 10 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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joke i wrote in 2024

0 replies 7 reposts 67 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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joke i wrote in 2019

4 replies 48 reposts 282 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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am i misreading/googling that they are saying the "cool" thing is incest?

1 replies 0 reposts 10 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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thank you for this adult content

1 replies 0 reposts 10 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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the bluesky devs were like "some of you are being too open in public replies"

1 replies 10 reposts 65 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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so much has happened on bluesky this week. for example, the start of season 4 of Quorators. in Jeremy's House.... Jeremy makes the rules youtu.be/7Hzrn7KqZi0

4 replies 1 reposts 21 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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the lesson from all this is that bluesky should have animated sigs

1 replies 0 reposts 13 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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forums are back!

2 replies 0 reposts 49 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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we had to renounce atheism but we got him

1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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i have invested my life's savings into SmarterChild

1 replies 4 reposts 25 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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seasoned internet warrior Felix Biederman joins on this week's Quorators, to discuss some of the site's most powerful users youtu.be/xpLfVFAgFL8

1 replies 0 reposts 27 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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ANACHRONISM. WRONG. In Westeros, eating pussy was invented by Jon Snow 200 years AFTER The events of House of the Dragon

1 replies 3 reposts 26 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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i like that they say "Liam Neeson" as if the movie Taken is just a video of something he did in real life

23 replies 14 reposts 161 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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applying for jobs like "we're looking for a guy named Jeremy Kaplowitz who lives in Brooklyn" and not getting a first round interview

6 replies 27 reposts 275 likes

Reposted by jeremy kaplowitz

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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probably my #1 fear in life is that someone will get an alert that i looked at their linkedin profile

3 replies 0 reposts 59 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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my dad found the pokemon cards i made as a kid

5 replies 1 reposts 49 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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new very fun Quorators with Daily Show writer Ashton Womack (who admitted halfway through the episode that he was very high) youtu.be/98PgXxbxDJ

2 replies 0 reposts 18 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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finding a toaster on the side of the road with a hand-written note that says "broken -- want to kill myself" and posting a pic on social media like "haha lowkey me fr!! 🤣"

1 replies 0 reposts 20 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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saw a tweet about jonathan majors that i msiread as jonathan banks and it's the most confused i've ever been in my life

1 replies 0 reposts 15 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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was at a wedding where they kept filling our glasses w/ sangria and was like shit i'm gonna get drunk, i usually keep track of how many drinks i've had. and my wife joked "jeremy loves to count!" and this girl very seriously said "oh? you should check out Love on Spectrum"

2 replies 0 reposts 39 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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this week and the next are two real silly ones

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jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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"and i would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids and your stupid dog!" i'm sorry, i get that you're upset but you cannot say a crime-solving talking dog is stupid. by your human standards, sure, but scooby doo should be dissected and studied in a lab

0 replies 3 reposts 35 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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ideal response to an episode tbh

3 replies 4 reposts 81 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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furiosa is such a beautiful italian name

1 replies 0 reposts 35 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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15 years ago, we used to have Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now, all of those people are dead.

10 replies 3 reposts 79 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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the new yorker owes me CASH

0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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how are they gonna get the handcuffs on trump...if he has such tiny hands!! 🤣🤣 folks, these jokes don't write themselves. they are, in fact, very hard work to come up with. if you laughed, please venmo me one thousand dollars right now

5 replies 6 reposts 78 likes

jeremy kaplowitz's avatar jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com
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me? yes i have seen Seinfeld, the pinnacle of male performance

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes