Matt Wallace

@mattfnwallace.bsky.social

My wife’s grandmother is 102. Well into her 90’s she was still taking walks alone at 4:00 am every morning and carrying a two-foot length of rebar in case a mofo tried. Roundabout 95, when the rebar got “too heavy,” she switched to carrying a meat hammer. Anyway. Happy Mother’s Day weekend.

May 11, 2024 at 18:07 UTC

46 replies 231 reposts 2063 likes

RealTimeMissHavisham @steenyswank.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 19:44 UTC

Great 4AM walkers think alike!

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright @chompmancobra.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 18:25 UTC

Hell of a dame. Long may she continue her hammer-packing ways.

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Luna 🌙 @headingwest.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 20:29 UTC

GOALS

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

SPFHockeyfan, Esq. 🌺 @spfhockeyfan.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 18:28 UTC

I’m only 53 but this sounds tempting

0 replies 0 reposts 8 likes

Karen Newcombe 🐈‍⬛ @karen-newcombe.bsky.social
[ View ] May 12, 2024 at 00:17 UTC

Osu, grandmother, sensei of the steel escrima stick.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Land Moose @landmoose.bsky.social
[ View ] May 12, 2024 at 19:51 UTC

An object lesson in the power of deterrence

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Rainy! @rainspirit.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 19:35 UTC

My grandmother's 102 and got a lovely birthday card signed by Queen Liz--a year before she passed, so might've been one of the last! She's never habitually carried a rebar around but she's lived by herself all this time in a quiet English village, being cared for by lovely humans. Goals, honestly.

0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

UnboughtAndUnbossed @rwford.bsky.social
[ View ] May 13, 2024 at 15:38 UTC

God, I love being a female apex predator in the morning.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Annie Bellet @anniebellet.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 18:24 UTC

Now I know what I want to be when I grow up

0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

Leo Allen @leojallenjr.bsky.social
[ View ] May 12, 2024 at 03:28 UTC

Dude... respect!! 💪🏾

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Just Walkin' 👣 @kenshain.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 19:13 UTC

My mom is 94 and can still cut up a room with merely a gesture, even if she can't remember what she didn't say.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Swiftie Trashpanda @socaltrashpanda.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 19:31 UTC

Is this by any chance the same grandmother???

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Liz Thurmond @countmystars.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 18:39 UTC

Grandma knows what is up

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Jon Green @modestholdings.com
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 20:27 UTC

When I'm president she's going on the C note.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

@garyper.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 19:46 UTC

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Birdmischief @birdmischief.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 18:54 UTC

If she gives lessons on life, I'm signing up!

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Nona Jabiznez @nonajabiznez.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 18:47 UTC

I love the way this is written so much that I just searched for you on Libby and borrowed an audiobook from my library.

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

RTOIT @rtoit.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 21:17 UTC

that's a mother, all right.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Richard, composer @pianokitties.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 19:50 UTC

That's it. I'm getting a battle axe, with the big solid knob on the opposite side of the blade.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

FeistyEnglishTeacher @flower-power.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 19:23 UTC

May I be as feisty at those not so tender ages!

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

曹昌倫 @arlentsao.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 19:57 UTC

Wow, sounds like a healthy life. The number is not as important as actually being able to still walk.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

DenverChick @denverchick.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 22:26 UTC

Bless

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Elly @ellyzoe.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 18:24 UTC

I aspire to this level of cool. ❤️

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Marshall Ryan Maresca @mrmaresca.com
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 18:21 UTC

My question is: did a mofo try? Or did they fucking know better?

1 replies 0 reposts 17 likes

Billie Bloebaum @billiebook.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 19:00 UTC

I love her. Please tell her a complete stranger on the internet loves her.

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

vyacho, [insert something here] @vyacho.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 18:51 UTC

I can only hope to be this level of badass.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

CNY Big D @pat0615.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 19:00 UTC

Love me a bitchin granny.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Dvandom @dvandom.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 18:20 UTC

You never lose those levels of Barbarian you take.

0 replies 0 reposts 31 likes

the jEfE @thejefe.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 19:10 UTC

Lemmie know if she needs the lawn mowed or anything.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Cathy Gellis @cathygellis.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 18:24 UTC

Wow. Any criminals targeting her should rethink and recruit her to run their gang.

0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

J Clary: Yesferatu @iloveredrobot.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 19:05 UTC

A few years ago I happened to find myself walking through kind of a ehh neighborhood carrying a crowbar (to help a friend who was un-installing an art show). I felt fully invincible. Only wish I'd heard about this trick earlier!

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Feral Ephemeral @marcmancuso.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 18:54 UTC

role model

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Patty Gerstenberger @pattygerstenberger.bsky.social
[ View ] May 12, 2024 at 02:52 UTC

My hero

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Dhilrukshi Pathman @dhilrukshi.bsky.social
[ View ] May 12, 2024 at 00:06 UTC

It's always the fierce little woman that lives the longest.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Andromeda Yelton @thatandromeda.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 19:29 UTC

Can she be bluesky’s grandmother now

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Felicia Davin @feliciadavin.com
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 18:10 UTC

I love her.

1 replies 0 reposts 27 likes

Colon Musk, CEO of GaceX @themilfmag.net
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 19:29 UTC

4am underrated roaming hrs fr fr

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Kristina of ⭐️⭐️ @maytagsmom.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 21:59 UTC

She’s amazing and I want her to be my grandmother too!

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Julia @sdrose.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 19:58 UTC

This is the most awesome story. ❤️❤️❤️ Did your wife inherit any of that spirit?

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Ali Trotta @alwayscoffee.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 18:12 UTC

Matt, I LOVE her.

1 replies 0 reposts 16 likes

Captain Cooksalot @moonbeam65.bsky.social
[ View ] May 11, 2024 at 19:31 UTC

My sister in law has been mugged 3 times. No training. All 3 times she has described the injuries and the police have arrested the would be muggers in the emergency room. She is deceptively quick and uses elbows and knees to great effect. One and done.

0 replies 0 reposts 8 likes