Samuel Ashworth's avatar

Samuel Ashworth

@samuelashworth.bsky.social

228 followers 179 following 728 posts

NYT-bestselling ghostwriter. Debut novel THE DEATH AND LIFE OF AUGUST SWEENEY due 2025. Screenwriter. Guy at Barrelhouse, professor of Creative Writing at GWU. Swamp Dad. a.co/d/0cDUTwdM

Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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Go home algorithm you are drunk

Please preorder now and help me maintain dominance over my new mortal enemy Cheryl Bailey: a.co/d/0fnJdY85

(THANK YOU ALL)

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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Fatality:

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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Over ten years ago, I had a crazy idea for a novel. Today, that novel is finally available for pre-order from Amazon (Bookshop and others to come). It's about fame, food, and forensics, and I promise you it will ease your fear of death. Preorder here: a.co/d/0aALCl3g

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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Watching Emi Martinez block penalties is like watching Picasso paint, if Picasso twerked after every brushstroke

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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If I weren't violently averse to paying $40 for a t-shirt...

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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I want one

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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[stands to applaud]

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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I'm making us t-shirts

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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So ISHTAR...is great?

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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Taking a half hour break from being mad at the supreme court to be mad at the US men's national team

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Reposted by Samuel Ashworth

Charles Louis Richter's avatar Charles Louis Richter @richterscale.bsky.social
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biden needs to go on TV and say that SCOTUS has just given him, joe biden, the power to commit any crime he wants as president, and that this erasure of a bedrock principle of the rule of law and the constitutional order terrifies him as an american citizen

3 replies 48 reposts 177 likes

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Helena Fitzgerald 's avatar Helena Fitzgerald @hellafitzgerald.bsky.social
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can’t believe how many of you are actually watching The Elder Abuse Hunger Games

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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Get a load of these antisemites who hate Israel

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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If you, like me, are a lifelong, card-carrying Cristiano Ronaldo hater, I recommend that you turn on the Euro game with Georgia right now

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Jon Baker's avatar Jon Baker @thejonbaker.bsky.social
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COMPANY: Here are some new AI features for our product that never needed it before ME: I don’t want them, they suck COMPANY: The AI we developed said you did ME: Please stop COMPANY: Sorry we can’t hear you over the crying people we had to let go to make room for the AI

2 replies 74 reposts 263 likes

Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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And like, the young rabbinical student who sang it had this sensitive operatic tenor and he just really *leaned* into it

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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I finally found a reform shul in DC I *really* like, except for midway through the service they did Oseh Shalom to the tune of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and I just violently dissociated

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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That guy's backpack straps are putting in WORK

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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This story is a whole turkey baster full of serotonin. (Gift link)

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Patrick Nathan's avatar Patrick Nathan @patricknathan.bsky.social
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“AI” is the culmination of the tech industry. Every time you use it, you destroy the environment, erode labor protections, endanger workers overseas, enrich the ruling class, and make something unforgivably worthless, all at the same time – and it's all hidden from you in a frictionless distraction.

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Lauren's avatar Lauren @laurenkayes.bsky.social
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It’s so cool that cities are like “pweeease only turn your AC on if you’re actively dying and don’t go below 79 🥺🤘🏻💗” while the AI nobody asked for is slurping up the power grid to make 1 image of a girl with 5 tits

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Luke’s American Revolution 's avatar Luke’s American Revolution @lfschleusener.bsky.social
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The Department of Defense is the single largest #LGBTQIAplus employer in the U.S. and the VA is the single largest queer care provider.

2 replies 31 reposts 138 likes

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Erik Hoffner's avatar Erik Hoffner @erikhoffner.bsky.social
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Scholars call BS on ChatGPT like: “Large language models have been plagued by persistent inaccuracies in their output; these are often called “AI hallucinations” "We argue that these falsehoods [are] better understood as *bullshit* in the sense explored by Frankfurt (On Bullshit, Princeton, 2005)"

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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Just flat out good criticism and a necessary corrective

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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We go live now to the kindergarten parents' Signal chat on afterschool signup day

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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I'll make this really simple: Republicans think attacking Hunter Biden is a winner for them because they are used to disowning their children, happy pride.

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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The Overgaag brothers, who ran Charlie's and the adjoining Red House (where I worked for a year in 2011) were the purest assholes I have ever worked for. Not abusers, just deeply-committed-to-the-bit assholes. Like, they didn't say hello, they said get da fuck to work. You almost had to respect it.

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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Eater did this for me, and I loved it. My copy-editors massively deserved their credit.

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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It is simply incredible that anyone this stupid could have been put in charge of the post

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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letter of rec: putting lil toothpicks in your sandwich like a fancy boy

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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New York if it weren't constantly run by the stupidest, most craven motherfuckers alive

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Chris Hayes's avatar Chris Hayes @chrislhayes.bsky.social
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Legendary cowardice. The most NY Democratic Party move ever.

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Simon Pegg's avatar Simon Pegg @simonpegg.bsky.social
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Preserved here, complete, for posterity.

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David_j_roth's avatar David_j_roth @davidjroth.bsky.social
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They're not swiftly and easily convicting me on 34 counts of oafishly illegal business fuckery that got bumped up to a felony because it was done to aid my political ambitions. They're convicting YOU of that. And I'm just standing in the way.

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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The funniest version of this story is if he's telling the truth, that he's like "goddammit take it down" and she's like "shut up make me"

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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Very rude of you all to imply these SCOTUS justices are being influenced by their openly treasonous wives when they've gone to such lengths to prove that they don't believe women's views matter

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journeyman folklorist's avatar journeyman folklorist @aniceburrito.bsky.social
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My wife, an avid amateur vexillologist, loves flying controversial historical flags at our various properties and I am powerless to stop her. I hate my flag bitch wife.

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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We can have a nice volcanic eruption live feed with Icelandic music soundtrack, as a treat

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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Dumb Money deserved more attention. It wasn't perfect--and it was probably way too indulgent of its subject--but it had something to say.

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Samuel Ashworth's avatar Samuel Ashworth @samuelashworth.bsky.social
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Just the zenith of goofy fun maximalism, with an A+ punchline: "Is that...classical music?"

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