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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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At first I misread this as "'Stars And Stripes' Plays Loudly Forever", which is a lot more nightmarish than the original text.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre@spoobnooble.bsky.social |
11 followers 4 following 148 posts
Urban hermit, working stiff, occassional teller of witty jokes (strictly amateur), and terminally Canadian.
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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At first I misread this as "'Stars And Stripes' Plays Loudly Forever", which is a lot more nightmarish than the original text.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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Yeh we went to de Mac's Milk tryin' to buy some darts and sodas, but we couldn't buy none... we were short a couple o' bucks! Heh! Oh don't mine me none, I jus' tryin to make a little joke, eh?
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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I read this through three times straight, and now I'm chewing Aspirin tablets and waiting for the ambulance.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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Just did the Homer Simpson crank-with-a-typewriter thing and sent an email to Home Hardware corporate office demanding they open a store in Toronto's underserved midtown area. In fairness, though, we really need a hardware store around here. a half-hour TTC ride to get picture nails is ridiculous.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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It's PERFECT! I'll take it! *signs papers* *burns house down to the ground*
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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I cooked this bad-ass beef stew, but only as a vessel for calabrese bread. T'was good, my friends. T'was very, very GOOD!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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All that water falling from the sky right after must've really thrown him for a loop.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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I still remember hearing that during the January 6th insurrection, Nancy Pelosi's younger staff members took charge and barricaded fellow staff in a side room. Pelosi was impressed and asked where the got their training, and they explained it was from all the school shooter drills in their youth.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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I noticed that everyone on BlueSky is dunking on GenX today. As a GenXer myself, I have to say the idea of a generation famous for being ignored, and then finally recognised only to be berated shamelessly by other generations, seems incredibly on-brand. Poetic, even.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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All of a sudden I'm drawing a connection between old-school shirt-and-tie Dilbert and Michael Douglas' character in 'Falling Down'.
0 replies 0 reposts 12 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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Better make sure it's in English *and* French, otherwise it's non-binding.
2 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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If Steve Albini in the last few years of his life can recant and apologise for his decades of edge-lord posturing, then there's surely hope for all of us.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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Sorry, babe. He's YOUR problem now, eh?
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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As a Gen Xer all *I* have to say is: can someone recommend a good pain-relief cream? 'Cause Voltaren doesn't work as well on me as it used to.
1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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You either die a GenXer or live to become a Boomer.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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Maybe he was just like his mother. She was never satisfied.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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If beat-boxing in the shower is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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I do recall we were smarter back in the day about putting up buildings that regulated temperature without artificial means. Like urban planning before cars and sprawl, it's something of a lost art, isn't it?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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I wish architects in North America would go to Africa and the Middle East and take notes on how to build buildings that stay cool through airflow. We can't just keep slapping AC units onto everything.
4 replies 0 reposts 14 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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Didn't The Who put out a compilation album with this title? I'm sure it included 'Magic Public Transit Conveyance' and 'I Can See For Kilometres'.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Shoegaze Dad☭
@shoegaze-dad.bsky.social
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I'm pretty convinced the "Jesus fed 5000 with five fishes" story was originally about how if everyone shares there's enough for everyone but at some point the church came along and said "no no, jesus did a magic trick"
46 replies 190 reposts 1097 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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This barista needs to pair up with the Waffle House server who caught that thrown chair in that customer brawl and go fight crime.
0 replies 0 reposts 35 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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Best part is Watterson only came up with the character on a whim. It was supposed to be a throwaway joke for the haircut storyline, but he ended up writing Tracer Bullet into several strips afterward.
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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FINALLY
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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What kind of lunatic only eats a single spaghetto?!?
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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That's good enough for me!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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The scary part was at Beavis' cremation, where observers swore that for a few seconds they could hear someone screaming "FIRE! FIRE!" from inside the casket.
1 replies 0 reposts 33 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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Today in a pub I put a cardboard coaster over a bit of spilled beer and it sopped up the spill in almost no time flat and holy shit is this why so many bars have all these cardboard coasters Today I Learned shit la marde, people
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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"It was asbestos times, it was asworstos times..."
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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Her ice cream brought all the boys to the yard.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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In 1986 in eastern Ontario I had to explain to my Grade 11 Marketing teacher that 'Born In The USA' was not a rah-rah patriotic song. That was one of my first teen-aged indicators that adults were not as smart as I had been led to believe.
0 replies 0 reposts 8 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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I bet a relative saw that, but decided to keep it in the family.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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Jesus doesn't scare me, but some of his followers sure give me the heebie-jeebies.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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When Yoda gives the Sunday morning sermon.
1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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That's more the issue here. Cars in North America are far too large and, unless you're a building contractor, you really don't need anything bigger than a sedan for most driving purposes. At this point automakers should be forced to re-introduce compact cars to the market, profit share be damned.
1 replies 0 reposts 8 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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That dude looks like he'd struggle to tear open a benefits cheque envelope, much less a courthouse.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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Saint Whatever And Whatever... amen...
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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Y'know, I like dark humour, believe me. But I still miss the olden days when Onion articles were more along he lines of 'Area Man Confused By Jim Carrey In Serious Movie Role'. I mean, I laughed, but... Holy Christ, dude.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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I am "Why can't I find the division sign/math symbol on my laptop keyboard?" years old today.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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LinkedIn just sent me an automated invite to follow Kevin O'Leary, which begs the question: why the flying fuck am I still on LinkedIn, fer chrissakes?!
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A.R. Moxon
@juliusgoat.bsky.social
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I did think that when the robots took over humanity it would at least be because the robots had become smarter than us.
22 replies 45 reposts 437 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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Pet Peeve Of The Day: if you were born and raised in Toronto, and you've made it to your 30s/40s, you should know by now how to spell 'Yonge Street'. Seriously.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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Quote the Raven: "Oh honey, no!"
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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Because they honestly think they're smarter than everyone else and that the rest of us are idiots who deserve to be poor and stolen from. Wealth starts as a prize, but eventually it becomes a self-justifying prophesy.
2 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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MechaManZX
@mechamanzx.bsky.social
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Magneto and Poison Ivy, characters who moved from villain to anti-hero not through a redemption arc, but because every year it gets harder to act like they’re wrong.
3 replies 15 reposts 68 likes
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Paul Duane
@paulduane.bsky.social
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People always date the point when everything started going to shit from Bowie’s death for some reason but Joey Ramone died April 15, 2001, which seems like a much better candidate.
7 replies 14 reposts 82 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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I'd hate this goof more if I didn't feel so sorry for him.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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I'm sure at the very least they'll TRY-IY-IY-IY-IY not to bruise it.
1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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Sometimes you think of the perfect add-on comment to a darkly humorous thread, but then you realise your reply is probably too dark even for an already dark thread, and perhaps you should just delete that perfect comment and not drag the discourse down any further.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dave "The David" McIntyre
@spoobnooble.bsky.social
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Oh, behave!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes