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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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This has strong "overheard a liberal at a coffee shop" vibes
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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danstory.bsky.social@danstory.bsky.social |
15 followers 72 following 119 posts
I don't trust people who don't have pets.
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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This has strong "overheard a liberal at a coffee shop" vibes
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Guy was probably excited to sip a little wine, have some laughs with friends, and then he gets cornered by Rowling and she's like, "WHAT DO THE PENISED WOMEN DO JOHN? WHAT DO THEY DO?"
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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I don't know that the Democrats could make themselves less cool at this point. Like, beyond the "How do you do, fellow kids" line
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Lyse-Beast
@lyse.bsky.social
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One of my favorite memes is the “woman yelling at cat” one, so when I saw this I almost choked on my drink
37 replies 652 reposts 3059 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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I'm voting Chewbacca in this year's presidential race because I can understand him the most
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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I didn't watch the debate because I just couldn't handle how depressing I knew it was going to be.
But I had a great time reading all of your posts about it. Def the way to experience a confused old man and a lying old man yelling at each other
#ElderAbuse
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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These Charmin Bears take butt wiping way too seriously
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Gary Bettman sounds exactly how you'd picture Gary Bettman sounding
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Erin Fogg
@criminalerin.bsky.social
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Very nice headline now let's see the pull quote
137 replies 421 reposts 1741 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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McDavid is going to collapse and die of a heart attack the moment the Oilers win this thing. Modern day John Henry here
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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They keep saying "Plow through." What they mean is "Plow through any of your free time today"
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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The dreaded words "working lunch" were just uttered and everyone nodded as if it were a great idea
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Had a dream I still had hair. That might be the first time I've ever had that dream. Was very annoyed that I was waiting at a salon and was threatening to just shave my head
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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It cannot be understated how 9th grade gym class and the Watermelon crawl killed any confidence I had in public dancing
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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tyler walk with me
@tylerhuckabee.bsky.social
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Go to dinner somewhere new tonight. Get the side of fries. Get the basket of fries. Eat them all. Eat the basket. Scream in a stranger’s face. Kick their head off their shoulders. Steal a police station. Marry the president. Set the moon on fire.
1 replies 5 reposts 25 likes
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kilgore trout
@kilgoretrout.bsky.social
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“it took me four years to realize they have been making fun of me the entire time”
75 replies 381 reposts 2197 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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I hate when you find yourself getting done with a call 5 minutes early but you immediately have another Teams meeting after. Sorry Brad, you aren't giving me 5 minutes back, you're giving me 5 minutes where I sit in silence, alone with my thoughts, dreading the next call that is about to start
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Looking for a behind the seat car organizer and most are either "tactical" or "law enforcement". Bro, I need a spot to put a map and some Altoids. I'm not looking for a dedicated pepper spray slot under the American flag patch
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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I forgot how much Lucas ripped off from Flash Gordon. Cloud City, Dagobah swamp planet, Royal guard costumes, slave costume, red vs blue lasers, deflector shields, Vader, Endor's treehouses
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jasper pilled
@hoovybaby.bsky.social
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My apologies to the Italians I wasn’t familiar with your game
84 replies 825 reposts 3672 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Told the guy in charge that I think A.I. is dumb right before being handed an A.I. mandate from same guy
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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From the beginning of the NHL playoffs, I was hoping Florida or Edmonton would make it to the big game. Never would I dream I get both
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Luke’s American Revolution
@lfschleusener.bsky.social
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What time is it?
13 replies 229 reposts 740 likes
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Seth Cotlar
@sethcotlar.bsky.social
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If a billionaire POTUS candidate can't falsify business records to cover up hush money paid to a porn star they had sex with while their 3rd wife was nursing their newborn in order to retain the support of evangelical Christians upset by the Access Hollywood tape, then are we even a country anymore?
6 replies 33 reposts 185 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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This is so embarrassing I might vote for RFK Jr. down ticket
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Things were much better when we had plastic instruments in every corner of the TV room
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Don Bones
@donbones.bsky.social
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They made websites unusable so they could cram in more ads. Then they laid off the writers who made the content you would endure the ads to read. So now websites are just a dead mall serving ads to nobody, if I am understanding this correctly.
33 replies 479 reposts 2101 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Feels like the posting bad gifs of American flags and clip art of soldiers saluting is going on extra hard this Memorial Day
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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I blame Hot Topic for making The Nightmare Before Christmas an entire personality for people my age
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Gemini popped up on my text messages and I reported it as spam. That should do it, never have to interact with it again
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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"Get Him to the Greek" has become much less funny with the current state of P Diddy and Russel Brand. If Jonah Hill manages to sign a band, it becomes a documentary
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Me today
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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And finally, the bully wearing the POW MIA hat has got me in stitches
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Blinding a man with steam and then cackling like a child Five seconds later, grandpa murders a man in front of the same grandkids. Not so funny now is it
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Grandpa in full ninja garb, waddling because he has no knee cartilage "I'll save the boys"
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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1988-1994: All problems could be solved with basketball.
Should've tried that instead of Desert Storm, maybe we wouldn't be in the war we are
#3Ninjas 🎥
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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I want a spin-off movie of Fester, Hammer, and Marcus. Maybe crossover with Point Break.
Bunch of bodacious surfer dudes, doing crime, building brotherhood.
#3Ninjas 🎥
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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The dad is sending Colt down a dark path by calling him Jeffrey repeatedly.
🎥 #3Ninjas
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Kids cooking in the most pristine white gi's wound never happen. Beginning to think 3 Ninjas is maybe unrealistic 🎥
2 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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FBI Agent plays a non-descript Middle Eastern arms dealer 20 minutes in. It appears to be a white guy with tanner on. Me thinks this won't be the last racist thing in 3 Ninjas 🎥
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Also love that pony tail guy is known to be the bad guy in every 80s and 90s movie. It's still true today. If you see a guy in a pony tail, he's likely doing crime 🎥
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Watching 3 Ninjas for the first time in like 25 years. What was grandpa training the kids for? Like it works out in the end, but he's training them like the mob is coming any day now. Why does Tum Tum need to know how to flip? Or Colt to blindfold bow staff fight?
2 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tikkun Olamunist - ירמל גרױס
@tikkunolamunist.bsky.social
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The kids are alright.
68 replies 1308 reposts 4735 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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When Vigo got slimed in the movie, he was actually trapped in a NES cart and not his painting.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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This is such an awesome read
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Not that I'm cheering for a hotel, but the Mirage is infinitely cooler than Hard Rock. Didn't Hard Rock already fail in Vegas? Pretty sure I saw a giant guitar sign at the Neon Museum
www.yahoo.com/news/mirage-...
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Had an interaction with a "Thanks Obama" guy today and it was honestly refreshing. Sort of quaint in a weird way Anyway, guy is mad that the government makes them put stop/start tech in cars. Then proceeded to tell me how much gas per year a car uses compared to a plane and I just nodded
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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My ★★★★½ review of Challengers on Letterboxd boxd.it/6tE7tN
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Starts like, "Dad, hurry up, I need to poop." Father bear just got done with a massive dump and to his horror finds the cheap toilet paper stocked. It's not the cubs going to Sam's and getting the cheap stuff. It's you or your wife and you need a divorce if TP is that important to your marriage
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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danstory.bsky.social
@danstory.bsky.social
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Hot Orca Summer is coming back and I'm here for it
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes