Dick Blunderbuss

@dickblunderbuss.bsky.social

221 followers 30 following 265 posts

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Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 08:40 UTC

April Fools! May Cowards! June Bastards! July Sons of Bitches! Goddamn August mother fuckers, the dumb bastards fuck em

0 replies 1 reposts 7 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 02:46 UTC

0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 06:23 UTC

nothing worse than when your dog is like “my job at the orphanage is having a canned food drive, but this year’s theme is ‘fresh bbq’ can you donate some brisket?” And you’re like of COURSE, what a good boy. And then you remember the orphanage burned down last year 🤔

0 replies 2 reposts 21 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 06:21 UTC

when u get into a relationship u gotta figure out if you’re the mean cat one or the doofy dog one. u cannot both be the same thing

0 replies 1 reposts 12 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 00:42 UTC

(At the front door of Club Millennial) Bouncer: a cookie is just a cookie what is a newton? 3 children in a trench coat: uh Bouncer: I told you to beat it!

1 replies 2 reposts 17 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 04:22 UTC

what are some bands that you don’t like as much as society makes you feel like you should and why is it REM

2 replies 0 reposts 10 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 18:23 UTC

If you skip the song delete it from your playlist challenge

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Reposted by Dick Blunderbuss

lanyardigan @lanyardigan.bsky.social
[ View ] Oct 16, 2023 at 14:21 UTC

Destroying obstacles with deadly blows from my powerful hands

3 replies 12 reposts 89 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 04:42 UTC

it is unlikely I will ever have a structured settlement but need cash now, however, I am still cursed with the knowledge of the warding hex

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Reposted by Dick Blunderbuss

Microplastics Sommelier @leastactionhero.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 14:17 UTC

einstein sent this to curie in 1911 when she was being harassed by tabloids. it contains everything you’d want in such a letter: (1) your haters are trash (2) you’re a baller, a true queen (3) i have determined the statistical law of motion of the diatomic molecule in planck’s radiation field 🧪⚛️

37 replies 1466 reposts 3935 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 15:08 UTC

sorry I’m late boss, I overslept because I was looking at funny things on the internet

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 08:15 UTC

(playing Mario Kart) BABY Mario!? In a car??

0 replies 1 reposts 7 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 20:22 UTC

I said do you think Marcellus Wallace is a bee-eye-tee-see-aitch?

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 06:41 UTC

jump into the blue shell when it comes for you! Face your destiny!

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 03:53 UTC

at the grocery store you can buy fruit-flavored sparkling water, which is neither soda nor seltzer. it is a cursed third thing

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 03:22 UTC

today I got to explain Death Stranding to someone who doesn’t play video games and boy was it a treat

1 replies 0 reposts 11 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 00:57 UTC

me and my homies all have moderate-to-severe general anxiety disorder

0 replies 5 reposts 27 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 00:55 UTC

(trying to sneak into a fancy restaurant with my friend Dennis) yes hello I am baron fenwick cobblestone and this is my familiar, waluigi-kun

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Reposted by Dick Blunderbuss

mave @mave.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 16:26 UTC

“Hot enough for ya?” • tired • boring • what you say when you don’t know what to say “Beads of sweat glisten upon the brow, so I must take to the cellar” • intriguing yet mysterious • appeals to brow enthusiasts • what you say when you need some cellar time

2 replies 15 reposts 93 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 18, 2024 at 07:13 UTC

when they hear my voice at the takeout window they know to add extra mayonnaise

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Reposted by Dick Blunderbuss

matt prindle @griefbison.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 14, 2024 at 13:58 UTC

If we’re created in God’s image, that means God also hears Sammy Hagar’s voice whenever He sees the number 55.

0 replies 2 reposts 14 likes

Reposted by Dick Blunderbuss

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
[ View ] May 31, 2024 at 02:34 UTC

Your honor my client doesn’t like jail

7 replies 119 reposts 767 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 12, 2024 at 03:26 UTC

the thing about owning a pug is sometimes you’ll be trying to nap and they will full-on belch in your open mouth

0 replies 4 reposts 33 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 11, 2024 at 06:23 UTC

my critique of “now that’s what I call didgeridoo vol. 12” Best song: Hrrrmmmmmmmgrehhhhhhhhhhhhuuummmmmmrrrrreyyyy Worst song: Grrrrrrrrrhumhrrrrrrrrrrhrummhreyyyyy

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 11, 2024 at 06:19 UTC

10 hour ASMR video of birds chirping but hidden in the middle is a very loud murder

0 replies 1 reposts 18 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 06, 2024 at 23:39 UTC

in a pinch, you can use veggie dip as chip dip Like and subscribe for more cooking tips!

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 06, 2024 at 23:38 UTC

Chicago Fire, Chicago Med, and Chicago PD are all good garbage.Plus they always cross over with each other. They also cross over with the three FBI shows, which are also all good garbage. If you’re a Dick Wolf person, you’ll have like 600 episodes to work through all these

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 06, 2024 at 07:29 UTC

who rescued who? 🤗

0 replies 8 reposts 45 likes

Reposted by Dick Blunderbuss

lanyardigan @lanyardigan.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 05, 2024 at 22:19 UTC

When I’m rinsing beans and a rogue escapes into the sink, I don’t always say, “Oh no, my precious bean!” But I always think it

4 replies 28 reposts 289 likes

Reposted by Dick Blunderbuss

BayBayFriend @baybayfriend.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 06, 2024 at 01:49 UTC

[screaming] but doctor, i am wilhelm

0 replies 10 reposts 42 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 06, 2024 at 01:57 UTC

every time your psychiatrist prescribes another medication you should get a new medal

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 05, 2024 at 07:42 UTC

ranch is good but buttermilk ranch got that extra stank on it

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 05, 2024 at 05:49 UTC

in the 80s and 90s they used to joke about how old people would eat prunes in order to take shits and literally the industry has never recovered

2 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 05, 2024 at 02:18 UTC

my hot take is that there has never been a good band name

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 04, 2024 at 19:01 UTC

(me bringing over a date) Me: hey Google - play my favorite song 😎 Speaker: got it! Playing Poopy Pants: Music for Sad Boys with Dirty Diapers; Crybaby Music for Cowards, featuring Henry Kissinger on Spotify Me: 😰 that’s my roommate’s Speaker: from the playlist l Don’t Have Roommates

0 replies 4 reposts 36 likes

Reposted by Dick Blunderbuss

lanyardigan @lanyardigan.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 02, 2024 at 02:51 UTC

I saw Blair Witch Project in the theater. Around minute 45, a guy yelled with great exasperation, DAMN! I WANNA SEE THE BLAIR WITCH

10 replies 63 reposts 764 likes

Reposted by Dick Blunderbuss

batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 02, 2024 at 15:06 UTC

🎶 A horse is a horse of course of course 🎶 And of course a horse is a horse of course 🎶 Unless it's Norse and has eight legs 🎶 Then it's Sleipnir, Odin's steed

5 replies 25 reposts 96 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 01, 2024 at 06:15 UTC

Steve Harvey: when ET phoned home what did he say? Cheryl: I got a big alien dick! Steve Harvey: ok come on now [1 ✨I’VE GOT A WONKER OF A HONKER✨] [2 ] [3 ]

0 replies 25 reposts 128 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] May 31, 2024 at 17:00 UTC

no, thank U, walmart app

0 replies 1 reposts 23 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] May 30, 2024 at 22:46 UTC

🎙️Comedy used to have a real heavy rep. Boopers out there cracking jokes from Gramercy to Central Park. You be careful out there, Warriors.

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] May 29, 2024 at 08:28 UTC

MANDRAKE’S CAULDRON: ADDISON’S CHOICE 5-Time Hugo Nominee! A Slant Hendry Mystery NEW YORK TIME’S BEST SELLER Book 9 of the Squint’s Mychonomy Oratorio Abridged: Foretold JAMES PATTERSON & With new forward by Patton Oswalt Preview Chapters of Crawdad’s Lament!! BRAD THOR

1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] May 28, 2024 at 17:18 UTC

if you like the board game Wingspan and Green Day’s Bush-era output, boy do I have a niche C+ joke for you

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] May 28, 2024 at 09:18 UTC

your girl can’t hang like mine because my girl loves data

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] May 28, 2024 at 09:17 UTC

I’m a real slut for oregano

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] May 27, 2024 at 21:41 UTC

ha! my comment was a shitpost but I genuinely love that there’s truth behind it

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] May 27, 2024 at 09:49 UTC

not allowed to play monopoly in my household anymore because whenever my wife lands on GO TO JAIL I tell her that she finally has a way to fit in with her family

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] May 27, 2024 at 02:03 UTC

technically bbq sauce is a smoothie

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] May 26, 2024 at 17:12 UTC

new Chappell Roan drinking game: take a drink every time she says a location

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] May 26, 2024 at 10:22 UTC

people think millennials are crazy for being so into their pets but I don’t know maybe they’re just trying to pay back the only family member who was nice to them growing up

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Dick Blunderbuss @dickblunderbuss.bsky.social
[ View ] May 26, 2024 at 09:45 UTC

one day this buddy of mine was playing piano and he says to me “guitars sound like sex, piano sounds like truth” and I think about that 2-3 times a day

0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes