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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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šš
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Gary Muppet@garymuppet.bsky.social |
211 followers 222 following 325 posts
Just a Muppet whatnot and whatnot
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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šš
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Five
@fiveeighths.bsky.social
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If you really think about it I'm mostly coffee and unfulfilled dreams
0 replies 4 reposts 7 likes
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Normal Pru
@prufrockluvsong.bsky.social
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The Bear is like if anxiety was a tv show
5 replies 13 reposts 42 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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guy who puts change in the Coinstar machine one coin at a time yelling, "You can take that to the bank!"
4 replies 73 reposts 210 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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Flood, drought, repeat. Normal flow conditions? Gary wondered at what point they WOULD consider this representative data.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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Just 9 days after Gary had left the office and āforgotā his laptop, it was time to return. Whereād he take off his shoes? A Monday mystery.
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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āDonāt lose the receipt!ā Gary, who had Oį·įÆIOįįįŖY never left the Shire, now carried a great burden and the fate of the world in his pocket.
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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batkaren
@batkaren.bsky.social
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Canāt I just text the Ghostbusters?
4 replies 22 reposts 70 likes
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lalalyds
@lalalyds.bsky.social
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You're like fine art, baby. A Monet. The farther away you are the better you look
4 replies 18 reposts 56 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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Gary put a little splash of bleach in his bath so it smells like a pool and he could pretend he was on vacation.
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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Oh, I have no doubt the tree rats are in on it. Those fuckers have had it out for me for years.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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I have no idea, but Iām currently under attack š¤·āāļø
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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They fell from the sky seemingly from nowhere striking cars, pets, and even Garyās head. It was The Season of the Walnuts
1 replies 1 reposts 5 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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Ironically, Gary spent his 4th of July waving a sparkler around and casting spells like he was goddamn Harry Potter.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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šŗšø š š
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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She wanted to be by her boyfriend, so Gary got a window seat. He didnāt want a cookie, so Gary got an extra snack. By the power of Grayskull!
0 replies 2 reposts 3 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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Gary walked 10 miles yesterday, but his watch wasnāt hearing any excuses. Get up and jog! The flight attendant put on her brass knuckles.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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Vanderbilt? More like Vander under construction. Chain link fences blocked his way at every turn. Gary hoped Mr. C was kind to trespassers.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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mave
@mave.bsky.social
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Do not approach me with potato salad that isnāt locally sourced yet globally inspired
1 replies 11 reposts 53 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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Gary didnāt plan a European vacation, but a hike from Whiskey Row led him to a perfect shot in front of the Parthenon. Look out! Frisbee.
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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š
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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Past the governorās mansion near Middle Fork Browns Creek, Gary googled āhot chickenā as if he were that other poultry-obsessed Muppet.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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He counted them! There are fifteen Mexican restaurants from the turn onto Nolensville Pike to the Planet Fitness. A futile workout followed.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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The food here was so good that the turkey vulture refused to leave. So Gary had to get out and move the street-grilled armadillo.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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What a crowd! No room to dance at this rock show. Between the quartz and feldspars, Gary stood beside other old fossils.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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Stress? Well, Garyās watch just congratulated him for achieving his fat-burning goal while he was responding to emails from management.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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mave
@mave.bsky.social
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[eyeing a farmersā market cabbage] now how much will this fella set me back
3 replies 11 reposts 40 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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Waitā¦ that was about a penis?!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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š„
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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Unfortunately, Gary melted before he could finish his ice cream cone.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Sweetie Ļ
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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Iāve been disappointed by a great many things in life but never by ice cream
17 replies 48 reposts 224 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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The large crops grew in a deep water culture, but the microgreens used a flood-and-drain system. Anyway, itās hot and Garyās going swimming.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Frances Meh
@francesmeh.reviews
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pig in a top sheet
3 replies 14 reposts 29 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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Go east? Gary wasnāt freakinā Magellan. He needed a left or a right. Perhaps even a landmark. Like a Taco Bell or something.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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The expensive broom on TV even picked up wet vegetables! This issue had plagued Gary for some time. He picked up the phone and called now!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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mave
@mave.bsky.social
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For $2, a lady at the farmersā market will knight you with a gladiolus, but Iām not sure how official it is
2 replies 16 reposts 65 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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Gary kinda missed the cicadas. Now it was just hot, and all he could hear was his own whining.
0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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Meanwhile at Buc-eeās, Gary hiked 1.3 miles from his car to the cashier and ordered ā$5 on pump 3,671.ā
0 replies 2 reposts 3 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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It was too warm for blankets on the bed, so Gary crawled into a Hot Pockets crisper sleeve instead.
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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MrsFitz
@mrsfitz.bsky.social
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"Wait, Guy Smiley was a game show host, NOT a journalist?" I whisper to myself.
0 replies 13 reposts 27 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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Like a rebel hero bullās-eying womp rats back home, Gary blew each dandelion seedhead apart like it was a goddamn Death Star.
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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Gary climbed down from the StairMaster and took one small step before being crushed to death by the intense gravity on Planet Fitness.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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āļø
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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mave
@mave.bsky.social
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Obviously the turtle who lives under the red leafy perennial in my garden is named Rhubarbara
7 replies 22 reposts 185 likes
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mave
@mave.bsky.social
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Taco Bell now has a Cheez-It the size of a tostada, but how long must we wait for real progress (Cheez-Its as big as surfboards)
1 replies 9 reposts 26 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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š¬ sorry Pam!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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No. Hadnāt heard of them before.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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They were great
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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šš
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
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These werenāt crane flies. Gary was in CoMo and all he was seeing was The Crane Wives.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes