Hank Green

@hankgreen.bsky.social

Today I saw a muscle guy video on tiktok and he literally said, “who wouldn’t want to have skin that looks like a hard cock” and I was like, “I think lots of people.” Then 3 videos later he was in the hospital with a heart attack induced by his steroids and it was really quite a roller coaster.

Jul 02, 2023 at 22:14 UTC

95 replies 250 reposts 2637 likes

James Yang @jamesyang.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 21:22 UTC

I can’t wait to use the phrase “cock skin” at my next social event.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

olive consumer @machete.gay
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:18 UTC

hey real talk that's the worst way i've ever heard that aesthetic described and i know it's usually described as "vascular" so you know damb

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

🎃🍂👩‍🌾🌻Eggcelent🌻👩‍🌾🍂🎃 @astro-egg-celnt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 08:10 UTC

Cock veins are icky, worst part of cocks

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Charlotte Moore-Lambert 🇵🇸 @cavatica.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:37 UTC

I need to know which guy????

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Alex "Lexiibat" Maguire @lexiibattwitch.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2023 at 20:17 UTC

We love you Hank, but I think the internet has ruined your brain. Don't worry, it ruined mine too.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Li-en @ artfight 🇭🇹 @li-ten.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 23:53 UTC

This reminds me of the liver guy who actually took steroids to get a massive bod

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Future Former Lawyer @futureformerjd.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:26 UTC

Link?!

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

@puppa.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 23:23 UTC

That's why I refuse to be muscular for more than 4 hours.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

JAC @jaconthebrazos.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:46 UTC

Oh no! Human Boner Man is ill?

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Ida Clemens @idaclemens.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:21 UTC

Personally I don't understand why anyone wouldn't want to have really soft squishy skin but I guess that's why I started estrogen and suppressed my body's natural steroid production

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Sam Proof @samproof.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 07:54 UTC

This is the Hank we’re here for!

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Autistic Information Retrieval Service @cryogaijin.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 06:53 UTC

I got rope-veins on my arms when I lost a decent amount of weight and took up metalsmithing. The creepiest thing about it is how nurses look at my arms now. I can hear their inner dialog "I could fit a Wide Bore into that so easy!" Does make for easy quick blood donations though.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

@umutero.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 07:03 UTC

That sounds like he took too many viagras lawl.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Gedalia @gedalia.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 11:35 UTC

Should really lay off the RFK jr vids.

0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Mumu @moomoo.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 23:09 UTC

It's nuts how people that look the strongest are the unhealthiest

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Saucy @happening.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 06:37 UTC

Okay, this is epic

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

MisterWoodhouse @misterwoodhouse.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 10:07 UTC

Did his entire body have a slight bend to the right?

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Matt Browner Hamlin @mattbh.com
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 23:53 UTC

A running motif in Bret Easton Ellis’s “Glamorama” was male models saying to each other, “Nice veins - they yours?”

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Paul Nabil Matthis @paulnm.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 12:25 UTC

I mean, the pills do say to consult a doctor if getting swole lasts more than 4 hours.

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Emily @emmie.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 17:04 UTC

Actually *I* wouldn't want to 1. Have that, or 2. Be on that. Or 3. Yikes! 😳

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Paula Schaap @redsonja.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 10:47 UTC

C'mon, really?

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Tassja @tassja.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 23:23 UTC

I would rather walk around looking like water melon rind than either look like a hard cock or shave a steroid induced heart attack

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

@anothergeoff.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 08:42 UTC

What these blokes forget is that as they get bigger, their dicks look smaller. Especially in those gaudy posing pouches.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Kitty Chandler @mightybattlecat.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:32 UTC

..wh ... what. What.

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Arkenor @arkenor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:18 UTC

I prefer to keep my major blood vessels a little less obvious.

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

jeremy @jhass.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 07:18 UTC

is it bad that I want to know what he looks (looked?) like? im a visual learner.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Seth Weintraub @llsethj.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 23:37 UTC

links or it didn't happen

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Robin LeBlanc, From Work (Taylor's Version) @robinfromwork.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:17 UTC

0 replies 0 reposts 10 likes

Indy 🐧 @indecisivejones.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:24 UTC

that’s quite a picture you just painted sir

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Dominique Ramsey 𓆣🍉 @euqinimodart.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 23:31 UTC

I sure as hell would not want to look like a cock

0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Kimya Dawson @kimyadawson.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 23:10 UTC

Boner bod has always fascinated me with the way it throbs in places that it shouldn’t. I definitely have found myself staring at twitchy tight leathery humans, but I’d much rather hug a mushy floppy flaccid torso.

1 replies 2 reposts 11 likes

Victoria Ying @victoriaying.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 23:19 UTC

That’s a very vivid description though, I’ll give him that

1 replies 0 reposts 9 likes

Heather ヘザー MSW 🐌 @philaheather.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:18 UTC

Hank I needed this kind of weird story on some feed somewhere so thanks

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Jona @jnibbzy.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 00:58 UTC

Ahh hank you’re just in the right place at the right time

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Michaela @msimon.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 01:44 UTC

A play in 5 acts.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

bdg @budgies.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:16 UTC

Well, who wouldn't?

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Lost Proxy @lostproxy.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:54 UTC

Are you talking about Joesthetics?

1 replies 0 reposts 10 likes

Google Spinoza @yeti-detective.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 23:15 UTC

Ok, but what if it was a super power you could turn on and off, and your superhero name was Commander Boner

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Pearlmania500 @pearlmania500.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2023 at 01:47 UTC

That’s what I love about the TikTok algorithm, it always brings you back to the story right where you need to be.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Auston Habershaw @aahabershaw.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:18 UTC

"Have YOU ever wanted to look like a rubber monster from a Wes Craven movie?" Uhhh...no?

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Mara Bitch @marabitch.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 28, 2023 at 17:17 UTC

Holy shit this post was a ride

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Matt B @mattb92.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:15 UTC

TikTok is wild sometimes

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Ben Adlin @badlin.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:50 UTC

he's got dumps like a truck, truck, truck skin like cock, wait, what

0 replies 1 reposts 21 likes

Moink the Chested @moink.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 04:47 UTC

We're not all like this. I promise you Hank

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

🐝Piper🐝 @jazzguineapig.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 12:42 UTC

bro flew too close to the cock

0 replies 1 reposts 11 likes

chloe @chloerosewrites.com
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:56 UTC

"oh it's Hank Green on bsky! oh he's making a joke! oh it's a joke about hard cocks!" excellent website

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Pretending to understand Azure @normalfriend.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:27 UTC

i want to put him in a zoo and observe him

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Descry @descry.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 22:26 UTC

Annnnd this is the tweet I find you from on BlueSky 😂

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

The one who C̷̺͉̰̲͔̎ų̷̛̠̙̭̉̊̔̒̒͘ͅḿ̴̂̇s @theonewhocums.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 23:43 UTC

Who would have thought peak masculinity would end up being a big cock Besides Freud I mean

0 replies 0 reposts 10 likes

Groovy Tasia @groovytasia.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:21 UTC

Idk what side of tiktok you are on Hank, but I hope I never get that on my feed

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Rolo Mcflurry 🪱 @rolomcflurry.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:21 UTC

Only thing on me I want that looks like a hard cock is my cock when it's hard

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

🐝🐝🐝🐝 @beeees.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 14:07 UTC

Is this like... my pores are all tiny little hard cocks? Or just that the stretched skin of an engorged member would be literally on my face? I'm really struggling to prefer either of these over, idk, not existing.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

LOWρUF🥥 @lowrhoufo.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:46 UTC

This has given me a lot to consider, hank

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

time 🔮 @timenotspace.net
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 00:30 UTC

yeah i think you’re supposed to see a doctor if it lasts longer than 4 hours

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

faerie 𓆣 @halfaxa.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 23:55 UTC

i wanna know why he thought of all ways to describe his physique he went with erect penis

0 replies 0 reposts 14 likes

Ben Austwick / BiggusBennus @biggusbennus.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:20 UTC

I’m so glad you made it to this app

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

theneedledrop @afantano.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 06:08 UTC

just taking so much HGH that he actually becomes a penis

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

assigail @assigail.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 04:18 UTC

@skadi.bsky.social ♥️

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Rufus Hickok @rufus-hickok.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 02:23 UTC

J.G. Ballard once wrote that bodybuilders seemed to be trying to turn their entire body into erectile tissue, but ejaculation seemed forever delayed. (It's perhaps odd to remember that image, but it's also impossible to forget.)

0 replies 1 reposts 12 likes

Eeyore 🍉 @eeyorevides.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 00:32 UTC

But he looked like a veiny penis so it was worth.

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Nick "Neiloch" @neiloch.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:46 UTC

No matter how many people I follow tiktok's "for you" seems like ragebait.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Ian Fortey Wants You to Read WereCage @ianfortey.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 05:00 UTC

Wait, all of his skin bent severely to the right?

1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Ted | 𝘷𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵 🏳️‍🌈 @esdin.net
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:16 UTC

I don't think that is ever an aesthetic quality I would want in my skin...

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

bluejay @bluejay.tv
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:20 UTC

When real life mimics the onion

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Alex @smartalex.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 04:57 UTC

Well, clearly he had to seek medical attention if he was like that for longer than four hours.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Marco @themarco.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 00:49 UTC

Damn.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

bad vibes the deer @lint.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:26 UTC

what is the value in human contact if not to feel bodily stroked (as a cock, perhaps, might be)

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Jen Torbeck Merrill @jenlaughs.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:15 UTC

I can say without reservation that I most certainly do NOT want skin like a hard cock.

0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Kageyama Satsuki @kagesatsuki.com
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 01:48 UTC

I didn't think I needed this humour 10mins after waking up but here we are haha

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

KEG @kegshouts.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 23:24 UTC

if someone used that comparison for my skin I think I'd shed it like a snake

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Nace GALACTIC @nace.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 02:58 UTC

The three ensuing videos were just him inhaling raw deer livers, right?

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

+AdamBlack @redrocket.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 07:09 UTC

grabbin his chest, oh no forgot my cockring

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Squibs @squibs.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 17:30 UTC

The price for cock-skin is getting so much higher in this economy.

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Sarah Parcak, Book Writing Madness @indyfromspace.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 23:40 UTC

*they had us in the 1st half not gonna lie gif*

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Mel -- (MonarchFisher) @monarchfisher.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:23 UTC

I hate that you put that quote in my brain, Hank

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Grizzz @grizzzlay.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 00:44 UTC

I think he's the only one who wanted cockskin

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Mason Pelt @masonpelt.com
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 00:30 UTC

He also had a very weird muscle contraction disorder that is worth looking into.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Netuno 🌁🪽 @neptunerocks.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 02:42 UTC

Wow that was fast…

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Arsh Harjani @arshharjani.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:57 UTC

how do we explain to people that aesthetics and health aren’t the same thing

0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

Lyse-Beast @lyse.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 22:17 UTC

I don’t even like those hairless cats.

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Patti 🗽🌻 @pierrotinnyc.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2023 at 23:00 UTC

omg

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Lauren Morrill @laurenmorrill.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2023 at 00:15 UTC

My husband casually follows bodybuilding and the number of times I’ve found him gasping at his phone because another 30-something guy dropped dead of heart attack … seems like a bad hobby!

3 replies 0 reposts 8 likes