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Lauren Morrill@laurenmorrill.bsky.social |
202 followers 100 following 527 posts
Author of spicy adult and sweet YA romance. Sister of the Bride out now on Kindle Unlimited!
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CHOAM Nomsky đź’
@thielman.bsky.social
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yes, we boiled the planet, but it was worth it to make a machine that, instead of adding two plus two, takes the statistical average of every answer to questions containing "what" "is" "two" and "plus" from a database of illegal cell phone transcripts and returns a fake nude pic of a high schooler
25 replies 951 reposts 3220 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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Verdict: PERFECTION
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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I just saw a TikTok from a hand surgeon that was just a montage of X rays of fireworks injuries set to “Proud to Be An American” and it was the most persuasive propaganda I’ve ever seen
1 replies 3 reposts 15 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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I’m spending this Fourth of July reading a stack of English regency romances and nodding when the Dukes speak snidely of America #romancelandia
1 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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The Volatile Mermaid
@ohnoshetwitnt.bsky.social
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A John Wick movie where he goes around assassinating people whose fireworks are upsetting the local dogs.
31 replies 289 reposts 1482 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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Also, I should add the only way this works is if he steps aside for Kamala. Anybody pretending like it could be anybody else and not be disastrous for Democrats in November is dreaming
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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I think then history would forget all the “doddering old man” narrative and he’d simply become the elder statesman who did his duty and then moved on. Dear god, I’d love it if this sort of political wish casting worked …
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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That fits right into his brand … the old school, for-the-good-of-America politician. Then his legacy is “I swooped in and saved America from Trump, passed a bunch of meat and potatoes legislation, and then paved the way for new blood to save us in the future.”
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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Look if I were a political strategist (and I am very much not) I would be feeding stores about how the political establishment and Biden’s family are all encouraging him to stay in the race … so that when he drops out it looks like a real sacrifice/act of service.
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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“I asked my friend if he knows how his other friends like to fuck and he got all weirded out and wouldn’t talk to me CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!”
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Preeti Chhibber
@runwithskizzers.bsky.social
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Feels like now that Presidents are Kings Biden should Take Care of the court idk
2 replies 33 reposts 109 likes
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Mx. D.E. Anderson
@diannaeanderson.bsky.social
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replacing Biden at this point is so wildly disconnected from reality that it makes me question the very fabric of the universe
13 replies 27 reposts 266 likes
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Peter
@notalawyer.bsky.social
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95% of the “Biden must step aside” argument rests on wishcasting a perfect storm: Biden steps down gracefully, there’s minimal fallout for Dems, Kamala steps aside, a talented young gun steps in and performs well. It’s not impossible but to act like it’s a layup is nuts.
115 replies 107 reposts 1162 likes
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southpaw
@nycsouthpaw.bsky.social
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The Democratic Party’s reaction to their candidate having a bad debate substantially outpaces the Republican Party’s reaction to their candidate being convicted of multiple felonies, held liable for rape, and owing judgments in the hundreds of millions for defamation and fraud.
72 replies 707 reposts 2565 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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This really is all there is to it
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Ashley Fairbanks
@ziibiing.com
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SCOTUS today:
3 replies 36 reposts 159 likes
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Mark Russell
@manruss.bsky.social
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Tonight’s debate is pretty much exclusively for suburbanites still trying to decide whether fascism will knock thirty cents off the price of eggs.
4 replies 88 reposts 326 likes
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Peter
@notalawyer.bsky.social
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i don’t mean to judge but i feel like a lot of you would benefit mentally and emotionally from simply not watching presidential debates
49 replies 172 reposts 1466 likes
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Michael Tae Sweeney
@mtsw.bsky.social
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as I've said before, Biden is the leaky rowboat everyone left of center in the country has been crammed onto and a lot of people have trouble telling the difference between someone saying "being on the leaky rowboat sucks" and someone drilling holes in the bottom.
2 replies 18 reposts 187 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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What is a chemistry teacher supposed to do with a Bible in their classroom?
5 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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I wonder if this could be a good tween device, too. I’ve been trying to solve the “let my kids disappear into music in their headphones without giving them an iPhone” issue for a while
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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I supported my mom through caring for both her aging parents (one with dementia and one just very stubborn) and man was it an eye opener. It’s just unbelievably hard.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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I bought Jockey Generation briefs from Target that have lasted YEARS. The elastic hasn’t even loosened. Plus they have a full seat. Highly recommend!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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Managing a McDonalds inside the Magic Kingdom
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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I just saw a clip of him describing his career and choice of roles as “a giant platter” where he just tried all different things. It seems like he had a lot of fun with all his many and varied choices!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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At least three of these guys still regularly wet the bed
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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He wanted to be Michael Jackson but instead he’s John Tesh
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Helen Rosner
@hels.bsky.social
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A wisteria-garlanded pergola couldn’t dream of this level of shade
17 replies 64 reposts 455 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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The WORST thing is when you watch something and don’t have anyone to talk about it with, but at least you can try to bully people into watching it to share it with you. This is just sitting in the worst thing and being stuck there. The cheese stands alone indeed
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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What makes a movie like Sharknado interesting to me at all is that a real human person had that bananas idea and then sat down at a computer and wrote it out. A computer randomly generating that portmanteau is completely unsurprising, but a person? Yes, now I want to know EVERYTHING
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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The way I would be down at the precinct screaming until my lungs fell out if someone did this to my kid…
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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Turkey and mayo on wheat sandwich bread … for some reason that basic cold sandwich tastes amazing when you wrap it in a paper towel and carry it down to eat on the beach. I never eat that any other time
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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Oh my god, I cannot WAIT for this book!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Meg Elison
@megelison.bsky.social
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This is true because writing is actually five jobs in a trench coat. Writing advice ranges from “how to make dialogue sound natural” to “how to pay quarterly taxes” to “how to manage disappointment because publishing takes forever.” It’s all important, and it’s all different stuff under the coat.
6 replies 79 reposts 361 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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Look, I try really hard to hold on to my humanity by recognizing the humanity in others, but I hope these two professors walk in front of fast-moving semi trucks
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Tim Carmody
@tcarmody.bsky.social
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I'm not a prison guy but maybe we can put the former President in stocks and let New Yorkers take turns kicking him in the nuts
22 replies 119 reposts 581 likes
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Mr. Am I Being Detained
@gonebabygone.bsky.social
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To enjoy it is not to say it fixes everything. You are allowed to enjoy it because it’s funny.
19 replies 426 reposts 2332 likes
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Pwnallthethings
@pwnallthethings.bsky.social
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just remember trump won't read your jokes about him, unless, as we recently found out, you get jury selected on one of his other trials, in which case they might actually be read out to him to his face, so, y'know, go for it
24 replies 808 reposts 2865 likes
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Osita Nwanevu
@ositanwanevu.bsky.social
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The only people who've ever held Trump meaningfully accountable over the last nine years have been ordinary Americans and they've spent that entire time being lectured to and berated by elites who've failed to do anything.
45 replies 2063 reposts 7136 likes
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Gfrancie (Benevolent Siren)
@gfrancie.bsky.social
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I heard someone on the news say, "it's not a joyous day for anyone." To which I say, "speak for yourself bitch."
7 replies 142 reposts 1009 likes
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Aaron Huertas
@aaronhuertas.bsky.social
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Today is the day Donald Trump became precedent
58 replies 1337 reposts 4974 likes
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Linda Holmes
@lindaholmes.bsky.social
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I will say, I think anybody who tells you they have a single clue about what’s going to happen next (with sentencing, etc.) is probably lying.
3 replies 6 reposts 140 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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This happened to me over and over last weekend.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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Would somebody please, for the love of god, please ask this enormous dork what the fucking data says about the affects of corporal punishment on children? I bet it’s a metric ton more convincing than the data on turning the heat off in your fucking house
5 replies 0 reposts 48 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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Yeah, that reply was baffling, and I really bristle at advice that seems to say “setting boundaries means you should expect total control of every situation in every place at every time”
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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As a parent, I get her irritation in this situation, but the answer is just to say, “I’m so sorry, Jackie, I really want to focus on the game, so I’m going to go sit over there for the next inning.” The end! Easy peasy!
2 replies 1 reposts 7 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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Wait until that husband of hers decided that male tigers take swipes at the female tigers to correct them. She’s in for a big surprise
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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Also tigers paw their cubs because THEY CANNOT TALK you absolute salad
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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Spends thousands of words talking about using data to raise uber-children, ignores all the data that says corporal punishment is terrible for children, the adults they will grow up to be, and your ability to parent them at all
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Lauren Morrill
@laurenmorrill.bsky.social
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This whole thing is predicated on making a strong society, but letting your kids run around a restaurant unrestricted is not raising good society members. It was never about society, it’s a masturbatory exercise masquerading as parenting. It’s just them making little narcissism trophies
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes