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Onion Inc Union@onionunion.bsky.social |
The Onion would like to congratulate its owner, G/O Media, for standing firm in its return-to-office mandate, as we can think of nowhere more conducive to best-in-class thought leadership than a fluorescent-lit room populated with the abandoned desks of terminated colleagues.
48 replies 1660 reposts 5990 likes
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Cindy White
@writewhite.bsky.social
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Don't forget the career-advancing incentive of [checks notes] getting a shout-out on Slack for highest attendance.
1 replies 1 reposts 48 likes
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Random QA Guy
@vought.bsky.social
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Maybe they’ll have a pizza party for y’all.
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Joseph Illidge
@josephpillidge.bsky.social
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👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
0 replies 0 reposts 8 likes
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Roger Ailes
@rogerailes.bsky.social
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The Babylon Bee's return-to-Elon- Musk's-ass mandate was more favorably received.
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Paul L'Astnamé
@velourshirt.bsky.social
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0 replies 0 reposts 10 likes
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Casey
@thecasey.bsky.social
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You forgot the whole infection center thing too
0 replies 0 reposts 40 likes
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VFXpapa
@vfxpapa.bsky.social
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Ugh, my condolences. If WFH is possible, working in an office is never "required".
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Katherine
@kdallashammond.bsky.social
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An open plan designed office with butts in seats encourages creative writing! Everyone knows that. 😏
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Pope of Chili Town
@popeofchilitown.bsky.social
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Goddamn herb
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Seth.
@xxsethxx.bsky.social
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Im laughing. Im crying
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Seth.
@xxsethxx.bsky.social
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😂 omg!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Travesty McGee
@walkerscott.bsky.social
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Smoking crater
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Allied Mastercomputer
@maxpeck.bsky.social
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Some of the best work by the Onion was The Topical podcast during the pandemic.
youtu.be/kKq8dTabi78?...
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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ScaryTwink™ 🔜gpn,EF
@spottyserval.furry.energy
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Omg
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Ben Kuhlman
@bkuhl2you.bsky.social
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Oof. Solidarity.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Alex
@ferrarimanf355.bsky.social
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Have you guys stopped kissing Bernie’s ass yet?
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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BenCisco
@bencisco.bsky.social
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Got two words for you: BRANDED SWAG
2 replies 0 reposts 16 likes
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Rae
@alsorae.bsky.social
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But are there beer taps?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Dell Cameron
@dell.bsky.social
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✊
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Just Walkin' 👣
@kenshain.bsky.social
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This is one of @neilhimself.neilgaiman.com's best reposts of all time!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Audley: leftover wizard
@audleyzdarke.bsky.social
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wow damn
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Flakey Foont
@flakyfoont.bsky.social
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You can usually find a pen in one of the drawers, and sometimes candy!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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My Chihuahua has seen things
@bkbirge.bsky.social
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0 replies 1 reposts 11 likes
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Political Film Blog
@jgiambrone.bsky.social
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Huh? Okay. What's going on?
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Bubbles
@phonon.bsky.social
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Now we dance
0 replies 0 reposts 14 likes
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Globulous Gutgurgle
@inmediasrage.bsky.social
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Terminated (fired), Terminated (COVID), or Terminated (dim reader)
1 replies 0 reposts 8 likes
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Rad O'Brien, Chief Engineer
@picardsteacup.bsky.social
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There's a reason kings never pissed off their jesters.
0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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MrComfyChair
@mrcomfychair.bsky.social
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Change the logo to a herb
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Becca's Mullet
@beccasmullet.bsky.social
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100%, of course, gang!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Ian McLaughlin
@ianmclaughlin.bsky.social
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Maybe a bowling team building night?
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Stuart
@hackrpg.bsky.social
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Where are all those serendipitous moments and mythical water cooler conversations going to happen?
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Footsteps of the Furies
@jerseymac.bsky.social
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You guys get a fluorescent lit room? Sweet!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Austin is notyoursweetbab
@thegoddamn.icu
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cough on the herb and his unwashed piss hands
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Candy Worner
@candyworner.bsky.social
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😂
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Schroedingercat
@schroedingercat.bsky.social
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How else will they write off all the business expenses of owning property in order to hide profit and dodge taxes??
0 replies 0 reposts 12 likes
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Kosturdistan
@smurfburger.bsky.social
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Yeah but ping pong
0 replies 0 reposts 38 likes
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ESPers
@espo4615.bsky.social
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"Why did they have to buy the Onion, man? Why not a diamond mine instead?'
1 replies 0 reposts 45 likes
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Alun Jones
@alun.pw
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Got to be where the news is happening. Cue six months worth of reporting on what can be seen from the office window.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Dj Ripley
@djripley.bsky.social
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and populated with covid, rsv and flu in HEPA-filter-less abundance
0 replies 2 reposts 16 likes
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Jesse Berney
@jesseberney.bsky.social
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damn y'all went hard. solidarity.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Heather in Chicago
@heatherk.bsky.social
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I’m sure pizza Friday will make up for everything
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Dan Sandler
@danielsand.bsky.social
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How often does Herb come to the office himself?
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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As A Dog-man ☭
@scooterdavis.bsky.social
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It's like living in your own grave! How cozy!
0 replies 0 reposts 10 likes
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Ellz
@ellz.bsky.social
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Damnit..just wrong
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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William Rockwood
@wjr.us
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sounds like it's time for a PIZZA PARTY!!!
2 replies 0 reposts 87 likes
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Ford, The Punslinger
@inferknow.co
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I actually enjoy looting the hellscape of cubes like it’s Fallout 5. There’s literally pandemic flyers from 2019 still up. It rules.
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Guy Shammguy
@guyshammguy.bsky.social
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Covid fever dreams will keep those clever headlines rolling in
0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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Tommy
@tommyg.bsky.social
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Perfect
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes