Paul F. Tompkins

@pftompkins.bsky.social

30746 followers 238 following 405 posts

TV & standup & improv & podcasts, hardly any movies

paulftompkins.com/live

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 22:18 UTC

SHOULD

1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 22:17 UTC

I’ve never been more unsure if I’ve seen a movie or not. Even if I watched it now I bet I couldn’t tell you. I think it would take hypnotherapy to know for sure.

2 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 22:14 UTC

This very Sunday! 7pm Pacific
LODGE ROOM TIX: bit.ly/vtopesbastille
LIVESTREAM TIX: bit.ly/bastillestream

3 replies 4 reposts 50 likes

Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins

drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 14:07 UTC

while i appreciate a good weed number i think 710 might be a stretch. we have to be careful with how many numbers we give to weed

10 replies 9 reposts 90 likes

Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins

6’3” pool boy bitch @milesklee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 00:42 UTC

survived many pile-ons but it’s things where only one person goes off that you remember. early covid i had a thread about educating myself on plants in my neighborhood, posted a mimosa tree and got a rando angrily replying that it was an invasive species. as if i had put it there

11 replies 5 reposts 204 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 03:43 UTC

I did not know this was allowed

4 replies 0 reposts 64 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 03:41 UTC

It’s gonna come back around in two more generations

4 replies 0 reposts 34 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 03:40 UTC

❤️🤍

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins

Chris Cantwell @ifyoucantwell.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 02:58 UTC

My kids went to Fort Greene Park today and I have since learned the oldest was lifting the middle kid up to opening of the sealed memorial door marking the burial of 11,500 revolutionary war dead saying CAN YOU SEE THE BONES

7 replies 9 reposts 185 likes

Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins

Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 23:27 UTC

[texting the band group chat for the first time 15 years at 19 am] I think we were pretty good honestly. Sorry if any of you guys have since died.

3 replies 10 reposts 155 likes

Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins

Sen. Gogurt taking notes on a criminal conspiracy @ugarles.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 09, 2024 at 00:16 UTC

Before I make a prediction, where is the fight?

1 replies 6 reposts 74 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 02:48 UTC

Do you really want to know

1 replies 0 reposts 35 likes

Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins

lowtax speedrun enjoyer @rickywlmsbong.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 00:02 UTC

ah yes reservoir dogs, in which things famously go great for the characters

92 replies 110 reposts 1149 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 02:44 UTC

Hahahah

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 02:43 UTC

Excellent fit

1 replies 0 reposts 8 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 02:42 UTC

Yeesh

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 07, 2024 at 08:16 UTC

Would wear

18 replies 11 reposts 426 likes

Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins

pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 13:45 UTC

Doomers love to say the world is getting worse all the time but consider that in the last 30 years we ended both the ozone hole and people getting their faces ripped off by a pet chimp

10 replies 32 reposts 450 likes

Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins

Michael Tae Sweeney @mtsw.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 18:19 UTC

remake Forrest Gump with updated references. What if Forrest get iPad. Forrest inadvertantly helps 9/11 hijackers catch their plane. Forrest accidentally kills Antonin Scalia.

42 replies 24 reposts 374 likes

Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins

Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 22:54 UTC

Haven't seen this much complaining about the sound guy since every club show I ever played.

1 replies 3 reposts 75 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 22:32 UTC

But you definitely find the irony pleasant

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 22:29 UTC

AAAARE YOOOU GUUYS MAAAAAKING COOOOUNTERFIIIIT BIIIIILLS IN THEEEEEERE

0 replies 2 reposts 76 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 22:27 UTC

Please tend to your wife instead of me, this goes for the rest of time

0 replies 0 reposts 23 likes

Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins

bakoon @bakoon.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 21:52 UTC

in one of the most egregious king ralph type situations i have been named the Tory MP for South Goopney and am now head of the 1922 committee. wooly bully playing on the soundtrack as i make a smoke a blunt in a big fancy room

5 replies 16 reposts 253 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 06:06 UTC

He makes crime harder to do because he is so giant

3 replies 0 reposts 57 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 05:58 UTC

From my warm dead hands

0 replies 0 reposts 25 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 05:31 UTC

It’s also fun to imagine there will be an entertainment industry in ten years

0 replies 4 reposts 281 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 05:30 UTC

I mean put some makeup on him of course but I could see him doing a great job

1 replies 1 reposts 59 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 05:29 UTC

In say ten years if they make a movie about 2024 Kevin Bacon should play Joe Biden

1 replies 2 reposts 99 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 01:00 UTC

I wish you the best of luck but don’t feel you have to check back with me

2 replies 0 reposts 25 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 00:54 UTC

I mean you actually think it’s funny enough to warrant a “quite”

2 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 00:53 UTC

I can think of a bunch of John songs that disprove this rule

1 replies 0 reposts 17 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 00:52 UTC

None taken

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 00:52 UTC

I hope you will read the rest of my post someday

0 replies 0 reposts 16 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 00:50 UTC

This seems private

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 00:49 UTC

I like when people pick just one thing out to respond to

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 00:48 UTC

I think that’s what I said

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 00:48 UTC

Are you doing SATs

1 replies 0 reposts 37 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 00:47 UTC

I actually don’t believe you

1 replies 0 reposts 16 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 11:31 UTC

0 replies 0 reposts 9 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 11:27 UTC

“Good for?”

0 replies 0 reposts 8 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 11:25 UTC

Whatever point or points he may have had have proven irrelevant in the case of this particular song you see

1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins

josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 04:35 UTC

I like realms that weren't forgotten

7 replies 30 reposts 254 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 05:42 UTC

Those miserly crones

0 replies 0 reposts 29 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 05:35 UTC

It’s a truly weird song but things just wouldn’t be the same without it (for white people)

3 replies 0 reposts 24 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 05:33 UTC

Too many variations

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 05:33 UTC

Was Sinatra famous for being a limited singer

1 replies 0 reposts 11 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 05:32 UTC

He could Weird Al his own song, what’s stopping him Chubby Checker rewrote The Twist a hundred times

0 replies 1 reposts 24 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 05:30 UTC

I endorse

0 replies 0 reposts 14 likes

Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 05:29 UTC

I have mostly been in situations where it starts way too low and becomes the most awful dirge you can imagine

3 replies 0 reposts 43 likes