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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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With GPS it’s easier than ever to get to Sesame Street.
0 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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Surprised Face Guy@surprisedface.bsky.social |
375 followers 241 following 6516 posts
You could be one of my first 10,000 followers. Time is not running out.
Sorry in advance: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaly5qgvbn52
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
With GPS it’s easier than ever to get to Sesame Street.
0 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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As an enlightened man, I leave the toilet seat up because Women👏Don’t👏Need👏My👏Help👏
0 replies 2 reposts 10 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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This is my impression of important information shared over a loudspeaker: “Abbdbhdhdana djbanabjd aboop anaabawa die pain babgs hhddbsbs poisoned dababababababa doo”
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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I still skip to the loo
0 replies 3 reposts 10 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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MURDER! At the Free Hotel Breakfast Waffle Iron
0 replies 3 reposts 4 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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Voting for Biden if he runs on a platform of abolishing fast pass and blackout dates
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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MURDER! At the Free Hotel Breakfast Waffle Iron
0 replies 3 reposts 4 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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Gotta be honest, 2 minutes seems like a really long time to brush.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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to me it’s when you make a delicious sandwich but then have to put away all the ingredients after.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
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Go fuck yourself to those who masturbate
11 replies 56 reposts 153 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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When three moons hit your eye and a fourth moon walks by that’s a polyamore
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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KAFUI. 🇬🇭
@mykafuiohkafui.bsky.social
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*me, trying out new slang i just invented* hot date last night? nice, nice. how’s his…you know…night height? 👀👀👀
5 replies 15 reposts 148 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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On the one hand I am the least patriotic I’ve ever been but on the other hand it’s nice to celebrate not being British.
0 replies 2 reposts 5 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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[third date] Me: “Hey, I know that third dates come with societal expectations but I want you to know that there is no expectation here. We can take things as slow as you like” Her: “That’s sweet, thank you” Me: “Also, I was nervous so I whacked off before I got here”
1 replies 5 reposts 10 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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Let’s raise our blood pressure and merge secretions.
0 replies 8 reposts 8 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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Oh did I piss you off? Did I make you mad? Did I raise your blood pressure? Did I make you a little bit horny too? No? Well, uh, did I anger you? Are you sure about that fourth thing? Just me? Huh. Misread the moment. My bad.
0 replies 4 reposts 7 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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Jeff.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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[flirting at a funeral] “are you a mourning person?”
1 replies 7 reposts 14 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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Instead of tailgaters we should call them crash dummies
0 replies 2 reposts 2 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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[animation board meeting] “You know those beloved cartoons that everyone adores and shaped a generation?” “Yeah…” “What if we made it again…” “Go on” “…But make it gross.” “You are a fucking genius”
0 replies 2 reposts 3 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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After using the public towels at the gym I *ALWAYS* fold them back up and put them away for the next person. It’s called common courtesy. Google it.
0 replies 5 reposts 10 likes
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Madeline Sophia Luther
@vinminen.bsky.social
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An old Trans proverb...
0 replies 2 reposts 2 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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Instead of tailgaters we should call them crash dummies
0 replies 2 reposts 2 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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Gross.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
[flirting at a funeral] “are you a mourning person?”
1 replies 7 reposts 14 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The Queens Gambit [2020]
1 replies 2 reposts 5 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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Happy America Day! Time to set off small bombs around children!
0 replies 2 reposts 2 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Dropped Mike
@rebrafsim.bsky.social
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[first therapy session] me: *sobbing* I don’t think I can do this patient: it’ll be okay
1 replies 46 reposts 357 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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If I slide in y’all’s DMs, just know I’m most likely sitting on the toilet.
18 replies 40 reposts 102 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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Happy America Day! Time to set off small bombs around children!
0 replies 2 reposts 2 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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Ha! Can you QT this so I can share it with context?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
PRO TIP: If you start laughing when they start laughing then they're laughing with you and not at you.
0 replies 2 reposts 3 likes
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Lee Harvey
@valleyguitarist.bsky.social
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Me, when I started collecting digits: Who's got two thumbs and a new hobby?
0 replies 2 reposts 5 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The Queens Gambit [2020]
1 replies 2 reposts 5 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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On my knees begging people to understand the difference between UV Index and temperature.
1 replies 2 reposts 8 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
[animation board meeting] “You know those beloved cartoons that everyone adores and shaped a generation?” “Yeah…” “What if we made it again…” “Go on” “…But make it gross.” “You are a fucking genius”
0 replies 2 reposts 3 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
If you are putting on sunscreen at 5pm you are falling for Big Banana Boat’s lies.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
On my knees begging people to understand the difference between UV Index and temperature.
1 replies 2 reposts 8 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
After using the public towels at the gym I *ALWAYS* fold them back up and put them away for the next person. It’s called common courtesy. Google it.
0 replies 5 reposts 10 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Once you crack them, all eggs are cage free.
1 replies 6 reposts 15 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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“The hacker… is a baby?!” Baby Hacker. Coming to Theaters, Fall 2025.
2 replies 7 reposts 33 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
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Waiter: "Here's your main course. Be careful, the plate is hot." Me: "Oh, I'm sorry, can you take it back and make it cold?" Waiter: "Excuse me?" Me: "Yeah, sorry, I forgot to tell you. I'm a Revengetarian."
0 replies 3 reposts 10 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
“The hacker… is a baby?!” Baby Hacker. Coming to Theaters, Fall 2025.
2 replies 7 reposts 33 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
“Did you want to come to my birthday?” “Sure!” “Great! Here’s a home video of my birth and some lube, have fun.”
0 replies 2 reposts 4 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I come armed, legged, fingered, torso'd, and dangerous.
0 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Once you crack them, all eggs are cage free.
1 replies 6 reposts 15 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Taking all the “Do Not Disturb” signs off the hotel doors so people can wake up to a clean room =)
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I come armed, legged, fingered, torso'd, and dangerous.
0 replies 1 reposts 6 likes