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Tony Corsentino
@notalegalrecord.net
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shout out to Horn Pond in Woburn Mass. for being shaped like a cartoon whale with the face of John Quincy Adams
21 replies 178 reposts 882 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp@foxult.bsky.social |
292 followers 448 following 925 posts
Teacher. Feckless gadabout. Asparagus hater.
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Tony Corsentino
@notalegalrecord.net
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shout out to Horn Pond in Woburn Mass. for being shaped like a cartoon whale with the face of John Quincy Adams
21 replies 178 reposts 882 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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Grosse Pointe Casablanca
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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When I was a kid, we didn't just play outside, we rode the rails like hobos until our moms called us in for dinner a month later.
0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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Nothing is more disappointing than finally seeing a photo of a radio personality.
0 replies 2 reposts 5 likes
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Stephen
@entrop.net
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When I saw the tiny trail of black smoke rising from my pantry, I immediately knew what it meant. There would not be a new Mouse Pope this day.
0 replies 10 reposts 59 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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True story from a few years ago at a Toyota dealership. Car Guy: "This [engine part] needs replacing." I: "What will that cost?" CG: "$220." I: "What happens if I don't replace it?" CG: "Nothing." What happened was I didn't spend $220.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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A teacher's job is to teach you how to not be an idiot. Your job as a student is to not be an idiot.
0 replies 5 reposts 12 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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I remember watching a 1970s documentary where Bigfoot battled a Six Million Dollar man.
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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“And Lot's wife, of course, was told not to look back where all those people and their homes had been. But she did look back, and I love her for that, because it was so human. So she was turned into a pillar of salt. So it goes.”
9 replies 21 reposts 76 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
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*pours out beer for all the unrecorded steps while watch is charging*
1 replies 29 reposts 51 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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“You drive, I’m tired.”
4 replies 22 reposts 100 likes
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Pessimus Prime
@pessimusprime.bsky.social
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I bit a radioactive spider and now it's got human powers. It's crying
7 replies 72 reposts 284 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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Anyone who thinks World War Z can't happen has never seen middle schoolers on their way to lunch.
2 replies 2 reposts 6 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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What's fresher than corn dogs? Nothing, it seems.
0 replies 1 reposts 5 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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Most of my wardrobe is now Mid-Century Modern.
0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes
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James
@tarnation.bsky.social
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Trying to lower my carbon footprint, but I’m not holding my breath.
0 replies 10 reposts 22 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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I don’t have a dog so I celebrate July 4th with those cucumbers that freak out my cat.
3 replies 35 reposts 83 likes
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Clify
@clify.bsky.social
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[putting away leftovers after dinner] Do you want to throw this tomato away now or in a couple days?
0 replies 6 reposts 26 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Saw an AI fireworks show and a guy lost all 7 fingers on one hand.
22 replies 438 reposts 1605 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
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I'm at the age where I think it's disrespectful to hawk a loogie on someone's junk.
0 replies 18 reposts 36 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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Nothing is sadder than the glassed-in airport smoking area. It's like watching zoo animals getting cancer.
1 replies 3 reposts 8 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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Dear American Airlines, anyone who won't talk to other people on a flight should be a "preferred customer."
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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"A'ight now, nerds!" "Yeah!" "What's cooler than being cool?" "Zero degrees Kelvin!" - Outkast, performing at a national Physics convention
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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Somehow my family thinks I'm up for listening to everything they say.
0 replies 3 reposts 5 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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Early childhood is pretty much a 5-year blackout.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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Not saying we should rewrite history, but someone should Photoshop better hair/clothes on photos from the '70s.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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The Walking Dead taught us that even during a zombie apocalypse Atlanta's traffic sucks.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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I have nowhere to stay but this motel. - Inn Dependence Day
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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"Yo mama's so fat she needs a curved shower curtain rod." - hotels
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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futurejeffrey🙋🏻♂️
@lacroixboi.lol
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If I played tennis, I would simply make sure to not hit the ball out of bounds 💁🏻♂️
7 replies 17 reposts 59 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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Waaay easier!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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I'm 72-0 , so far, playing Jenga against toddlers and infants.
1 replies 2 reposts 5 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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The mass of George Washington divided by the volume of Thomas Jefferson. - Independensity Day
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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StefanThinks
@stefanthinks.bsky.social
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Supreme Court overturns Rubber v. Glue and rules whatever you say no longer bounces off me and sticks to you.
1 replies 6 reposts 16 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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Need a break from the news? Here are some dogs.
1 replies 3 reposts 17 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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Whenever my daughters question my street cred, I whip out my License to Ill to shut them up.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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I want to eat the food I see on restaurant TV commercials and not the food that's actually served to me at those restaurants.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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"It's not samuryou; it's samurai." - traditional Japanese breakup line
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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The problem is not how much money I make; it's that I don't live in the 1700s when my salary would make me the richest man in the world.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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In the '70s, it was impossible for teachers to teach over the sound of corduroys.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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When you're 6'2" and riding in coach, every long distance flight feels like you're Tyrion Lannister fleeing for his life in a shipping crate.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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"The talk" with my daughters consisted of making them listen to Kool Moe Dee's "Go See the Doctor."
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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The Shrimpening 🎩🦐☕️🫖🪸🐚
@theshrimpening.bsky.social
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the sexiest era in earth history was the devonian era
1 replies 1 reposts 5 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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Need a break from the news? Here are 4 guinea fowl chicks born recently in an incubator in my house.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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I'm thinking about going into educational consulting, but I'm not sure I can live that grifting lifestyle.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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My daughters' refusal to wear adult diapers on long car trips shows a complete lack of commitment to the family team.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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The world is lucky I built a time machine and have gone back to kill a bunch of bad people already, which has prevented a lot of wars.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
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"If I hold my head like this, it looks as if I have plenty of gas." - me, about to run out of gas between highway exits
0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes