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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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Eric Carle’s The Very Angry Burrito
0 replies 8 reposts 13 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname@capnwatsisname.bsky.social |
1939 followers 1050 following 4023 posts
Likes you and other things that are great. Oatmeal farmer.
Just my posts: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:efdtjcx67l6vpztu7muhp64s/feed/aaabrbkkoo5lc
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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Eric Carle’s The Very Angry Burrito
0 replies 8 reposts 13 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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The Chief says if I do any more damage to city property she’ll have my badge and Red Jumbo Sharpie
2 replies 8 reposts 15 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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my dog shakes his head in the middle of guests on my porch sending giant dog drool flying. They yell "eww!" and he gets so excited they're celebrating him he can't stop wagging his tail
12 replies 54 reposts 347 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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If I wipe my hands on your decorative towels I'm trying to say I believe you can become a person of substance
11 replies 77 reposts 203 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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I must admit I chose not to learn how to do a lot of things I thought a robot would be doing for me by this time so thank you for the life lesson, Jetsons
4 replies 49 reposts 124 likes
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Raquel Squelch
@raquelsquelch.bsky.social
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bench made heart set up by trained hand outer contours traced her ribs garland inside strips of tiger moulded to a shape that fits you just so a neck elongated tight in the mortise to open her up play her often stress her body when she really feels you'll know by a quiver and the screech of her bow
4 replies 25 reposts 43 likes
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Raquel Squelch
@raquelsquelch.bsky.social
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Call a bowl a bowl? Off with their feet I'd say in my queenest of ways and it's fingers for diamonds but as queen of clubs run off with their sandwiches oh for hearts sake I'd just eat them
0 replies 28 reposts 44 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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That’s how you know ♥️
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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today i had a zoom therapy appointment where i cried and ate noodles with my bare hands on camera and she didn’t even blink
26 replies 65 reposts 471 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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this is what dating me is like
24 replies 34 reposts 167 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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i don’t think i like this
28 replies 48 reposts 244 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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a daycare for adults where instead of cookies and juice you get Xanax and vodka
13 replies 55 reposts 161 likes
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Uncle Jeff 🏳️🌈
@picklerudd.bsky.social
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Do people still clap on their lights or do I have this ancient commercial jingle rattling around in my head for nothing?
0 replies 1 reposts 7 likes
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Princess of Whales
@princessofwhales2.bsky.social
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0 replies 6 reposts 16 likes
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Normal Pru
@prufrockluvsong.bsky.social
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The best way to stay healthy is to have a judgemental doctor
3 replies 11 reposts 34 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
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who up blurting “wait what are we talking about again” in the middle of a conversation?
4 replies 24 reposts 57 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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My Jungian Shadow is wearing a puka shell necklace
0 replies 11 reposts 24 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Where are all these ‘I can fix him’ women one hears so much about?
1 replies 10 reposts 24 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
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Part of me thinks living in tiny volcanic Iceland must be like driving with the seat warmers AND the AC on.
0 replies 2 reposts 3 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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Ok startingggggg now
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tippi Hedren Collider
@linanneblack.bsky.social
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After a month of socialising, I like to think that on the nights I can’t go outside, the fireflies who come right up to blink at my windows are saying good evening.
1 replies 8 reposts 19 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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Thank you, yes
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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The Chief says if I do any more damage to city property she’ll have my badge and Red Jumbo Sharpie
2 replies 8 reposts 15 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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When I die, I’d like my bones to be played like a xylophone by a giant purple gorilla
7 replies 36 reposts 85 likes
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Marjorie James Keenan
@unenthusiast.com
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I do not know what is wrong with you but it is very familiar with what is wrong with me (mimics mime-in-mirror routine)
1 replies 6 reposts 11 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
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raise your hand if you’ve accidentally joined a polycule while checking out at Trader Joe’s
9 replies 30 reposts 90 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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😊
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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It is.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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MyNameIsJeff🙋🏻♂️
@lacroixboi.lol
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I showed you my stats, please respond
16 replies 27 reposts 77 likes
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chris.
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
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You can have high tea with the princes and queens or you can have low tea with the rats and the gnats, these are your only two choices.
2 replies 22 reposts 44 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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The way I act when I have a crush is very not on brand
1 replies 23 reposts 56 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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All’s fair in love and war. TRANSLATION: Nothing’s fair in love and war.
1 replies 24 reposts 50 likes
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blaine capatch
@blainecapatch.bsky.social
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(Jerry Lewis voice) A Quiet Place DAY ONE
7 replies 7 reposts 58 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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I think they need naps
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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That’s why I sleep!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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Urgently asking a different flight attendant if I can announce when you look to our left there’s a cloud shaped like my cat when she’s asleep.
0 replies 70 reposts 291 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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I’d like to see this much effort put into knowing why we are awake
24 replies 129 reposts 623 likes
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Luke
@llobrow.bsky.social
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hi and welcome to my new show, Me and Potate Plus Eight, where I eat a potato and then 8 other potatoes
1 replies 6 reposts 27 likes
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Luke
@llobrow.bsky.social
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reskeet with a tweet you still think about
2 replies 3 reposts 13 likes
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blank
@misterblank.bsky.social
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always like to put food toward the outside of the microwave plate. let it go for a little ride.
0 replies 10 reposts 39 likes
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RM
@dorsalstream.bsky.social
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By the way, this is latest issue of my newsletter, "How to Talk to Yourself." You can subscribe for free or for American Dollars should you find the writing moving and/or entertaining.
0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes
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Parilani 🫧
@parilani.bsky.social
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internet company: we added more ai features !!!'!!!! me: *so so tired*
1 replies 5 reposts 18 likes
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Ygrene ✔️
@ygrene.bsky.social
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a good first date idea is the Lowe’s garden department so you can walk by the bags of mulch just to see if your date gives them a couple hearty pats
4 replies 14 reposts 66 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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haha classical!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
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[me, tryna fit in on bsky] these nuts!
12 replies 51 reposts 156 likes
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batkaren
@batkaren.bsky.social
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Stop doing things for shits and giggles. You’re just making the Shits and Giggles Fairy stronger. Hungrier…
0 replies 22 reposts 58 likes
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Inspector Ratchet
@1nspectratchet.bsky.social
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Now that 4th of July is behind us, it's time for me to furiously decorate for Halloween
2 replies 9 reposts 65 likes
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PAM!
@pamtoo.bsky.social
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Fortune cookie: IF YOU LEAVE A WOMAN WAITING TO BE WHISKED AWAY TO TACO BELL SHE'LL WIPE OUT YOUR SAVINGS BUYING A LAKE HOUSE WHILE YOU SLEEP.
1 replies 14 reposts 28 likes
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Jerry
@allhailjerry.bsky.social
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I almost posted to the wrong account, like some kind of congressperson.
1 replies 3 reposts 17 likes
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Elissa
@tomorrowx3.bsky.social
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Why does Siri say “slight left” when she means u-turn? What is she so afraid of
0 replies 7 reposts 11 likes